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Ex- boyfriend watch

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    Hi, this is going to sound a bit pathetic but I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago + we both agreed to be friends but recently I've been really low and lonely and he's refusing to see me.
    I was fine and didn't think about him too much for the 1st few weeks, then he went on holiday for a week and it was playing on my mind when I'd get to see him again- when he got back I texted him but he ignored me for about 5 days until I called him + he invited me over the next evening.
    We watched a film + he didn't seem that bothered about seeing me but we got on fairly well. We went out for a long time + he's one of the only people I'm close to and knows me really well, he knows I'm going through some s*** at the moment and said he'd always be there for me, so I talked to him + ended up crying and he hugged me and was supportive. His parents got back + I was embarrassed + red-eyed and left shortly after.
    I texted him to say Thank You for being there but didn't hear back until yesterday when he texted to say that he couldn't meet up with me again yet, because it made him feel really down when I left. Trouble is I'm really lonely and blue and have loads of time stretching out when I'm on my own with nothing to do. I'm not asking him to get back with me, or even be a shoulder to cry on- but it meant a lot to me that he agreed to still be friends + said I was welcome at his any time I was lonely + down + needed somewhere to go. Now I am, and I do- desperately, but he's ignored my text and I feel like I can't get in touch with him at all.
    Aargh I want him and need him so much as a friend- what can I do?
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    It sounds like you need to let all your feelings of "love for this guy" and move on. He's obviously not interested in you like that, he just wants to be friends with you. I can understand why he ignored you when you wanted to talk to him after his holiday, he needs space. Let him have that space.

    I hope this helps you
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    So you just want to be friends with him, but he wants more or.....
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    It seems like he wants you? Otherwise why would he be feeling down after you left?
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    thats what i was thinking, but she said also that she wants him so bad as a friend, so it kinda throws u off whos who and whats what u know. shed some light darling.
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    Maybe he's hurt that you're using him?
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    If he seemed like he wants her he would have been there for her stright away from when he came back from holiday instead of not ringing her for 5 days.
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    Has anyone heard this saying Ex boyfirends should stay ex boyfirends not to complicate things. Meaning they are your "ex" for a reason, if going back out with them could bring back the problems that caused them to break up in the first place.
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    Ok I think that him wanting us to get back together is what upset him but he did say that he 'Loved seeing me' when I came round- I didn't lead him on, I don't think that I love him but I do know that he's a lovely person + really value him in my life as someone who I trust and who (I thought) cares(d?) about me whether or not we were together.
    I understand that he wants space but next week I'm going away for a month, he'll have all the space in the world then but at the moment it wouldn't kill him just to meet up with me once or twice, we have loads in common and have a laugh together, even if its nothing more.
    I know he should stay my 'ex' and it would really hurt him if I led him on or anything physical happened between us before I went away.
    You have a point that I'm 'using' him but I would have said it's ok to 'use' a friend for their support when you really need them.
    I don't know what to say to him and I can't bare to say nothing at all.
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    Ok well it sounds like your going to be okay with it all! Yeah your right, you are giving him enough space. It's great that your not leading him on, that would mess with his feelings. I think you should try not to think about him now, try to meet a new guy maybe the next one will be the one? It's good that you vaule him in your life, keep it that way but never more than a firend.
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    Tell him you still love him?
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    Kirstinx i think your confused, lol.
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    (Original post by kirstinx)
    Tell him you still love him?
    I can't because I don't think I do and that would really hurt him. I miss having him as a boyfriend like hell but I know I can't get that back. I need him as a friend and I've got a whole empty long depressing hopeless week to be without anyone at all, I told you I was pathetic but I don't think I can or will cope with it without ringing him. I don't know what to say to him- I've told him I'm hurt that he's refusing to be there for me or be friends with me when I need him so much but he's ignoring me. Aaargh!
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    (Original post by Lyndzxx)
    Kirstinx i think your confused, lol.
    No, I am not. With her previous posts she made it obvious that they both want each other back.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't because I don't think I do and that would really hurt him. I miss having him as a boyfriend like hell but I know I can't get that back. I need him as a friend and I've got a whole empty long depressing hopeless week to be without anyone at all, I told you I was pathetic but I don't think I can or will cope with it without ringing him. I don't know what to say to him- I've told him I'm hurt that he's refusing to be there for me or be friends with me when I need him so much but he's ignoring me. Aaargh!
    The only thing you can do is try to get over him, i know it's hard but you have to try.
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    I guess your right and I had to hear it Lyndz- just really hard to do. Its not so much not having a boyfriend that is hard but having nobody at all. I wasn't ready to have nobody to care about me and be there to talk to but I guess that's what I sacrificed by giving up my boyfriend- its horrible but I suppose I have to accept I've lost him as a friend as well. Which leaves a huge empty cavernous hole and me alone to deal with other horrible issues that he's no longer willing to support me with. I know I'll end up calling him though- I'm not a strong person! Guess whatever I say I'm putting my foot in it- I'll try not to call tonight.
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    (Original post by Lyndzxx)
    It sounds like you need to let all your feelings of "love for this guy" and move on. He's obviously not interested in you like that, he just wants to be friends with you. I can understand why he ignored you when you wanted to talk to him after his holiday, he needs space. Let him have that space.

    I hope this helps you
    I think it means completely the opposite, i'm going througha similar thing with my ex. He started refusing to see me cos he wanted to get back with me but knew he had no chance of that, so it was uncomfartable which it seems is what he mweans why he is not seeing her. I'd let it lie low for abit, give yourselves time to completely get over each other, i would never advise a friendship right after a break up, wait for bit, then do a trial, making sure both of you know the score and where you stand with each other.
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    I think he can't handle you relying on him so much to pull you out of being blue - it's a bit of a weight to put on any friend, let alone an ex boyfriend. And well... in the cruelest way, it can be needy and offputting. I think you should find someone else to rely on - what about your family? All the maturity and responsibility they may have is much in your favour! I really hope things look up for you soon
    • #2
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    (Original post by The_Crow)
    I think it means completely the opposite, i'm going througha similar thing with my ex. He started refusing to see me cos he wanted to get back with me but knew he had no chance of that, so it was uncomfartable which it seems is what he mweans why he is not seeing her. I'd let it lie low for abit, give yourselves time to completely get over each other, i would never advise a friendship right after a break up, wait for bit, then do a trial, making sure both of you know the score and where you stand with each other.
    I agree 100%

    Speaking from experience, my ex gf needs me at times to talk to me about stuff that is upsetting her but it is soooo hard to talk to her. We get close when we talk and i end up saying "i love you" in the middle of the conversation and she does too. But she is happy with her new bf so we can never get back together, so by talking to her it hurts so much.

    Maybe he is the same? He may want to be there for you but it is hard for him. It's obvious he wants you back and i think that he thinks he is certain that he can't have you back or it wont be as good.

    I think you should let him get over you but let him know you care about him before you leave him alone for a while.
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    (Original post by dusk)
    I think he can't handle you relying on him so much to pull you out of being blue - it's a bit of a weight to put on any friend, let alone an ex boyfriend. And well... in the cruelest way, it can be needy and offputting. I think you should find someone else to rely on - what about your family? All the maturity and responsibility they may have is much in your favour! I really hope things look up for you soon
    I have no doubt I'm needy and offputting! Its weird role-reversal because thats one of the things about him that pushed us apart when we split up. Unfortunately I don't really have anyone else to rely on- my best friend is being very distant (perhaps I'm too needy and offputting for her as well) and my family- well lets just say we're anything but close and my Mum is a lot of the reason I feel like s***.
    I let him know how I was feeling last night- just that I was lonely + couldn't stand to have him ignore me and not tell me what was going on- and he wasn't very keen to hear it, he said "I'm sorry if I haven't been there for you but I've been dealing with things my own way". I apologised for getting in the way of him dealing with things and moving on but now he's ignoring me completely again! I guess at least for now I've lost him as a friend. On the bright side I still have my cat
 
 
 
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