Stop being inlove? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#1
Hey, this is going to sound really wierd but here goes.. :rolleyes:

Ive 'loved' my teacher for the past 6 years - first i thought it was just infatuation because i was just a kid (im 18 now) but its become progressively worse now. Ive left this year and he's also leaving; changing his whole career and moving to the uk (but without his family - married and has kids) and i feel so strongly about him. Obviously i cannot do anything about it, i could never do anything! And to top it up, i just found out something really bad about him which has made me question his whole morals etc.. ie this new revelation was meant to be a warning sign for me to stop liking him so much! But its made it worse! We've been discussing meeting up in the uk later on and exchanging numbers (we already txt and email each other - V V innocently, no flirting involved.. well not on my behalf thats for sure!) and i really dont know what to do. I know very well i should NOT get involved, not because he was my teacher but because he's married and has been proven to not be the guy i thought he was. I really need to 'fall out of love' with him, but howwww?? I think about him all the time and really want to be with him and try to stop myself feeling this way, but cant.. anyone have ANY ideas? ANYTHING?! I dont want to end up doing something i know i will regret and i know i shouldn't feel this way (i do know its wrong, give me some slack!).. please help
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Lucyvet2006
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#2
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#2
I know it sounds stupid but just try looking for someone new? Doesn't have to be a one night stand but go out on the pull with your friends- or just get out meeting people. Sure, meet up with him- do you know his wife and kids? You could meet up with all of them?
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sweetface.
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#3
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Yeah, you said it. Just try to move on.
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Anonymous #1
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i know his kids well, his wife just by looks (havent really spoken to her, dont really want to to be honest lol). He's going to be alone in the uk for about a year and then they're joining him.. Definately, you're right i should move on cause this is getting me really down, but when ive tried (i have gone out with other guys) i still keep thinking about him.. So you think its a good idea to meet up with him?
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bunthulhu
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#5
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I don't think you should meet up with him to be honest - it's just going to make you keep thinking about him!
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Anonymous #1
#6
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(Original post by bunthulhu)
I don't think you should meet up with him to be honest - it's just going to make you keep thinking about him!
weve already started planning places where we could meet and i feel really bad.. he is a bit of a flirt in his own way; occassionally too friendly, but he behaves that way with some girls, not just me so i dont really take it as being anything. im not a flirt myself so i cant really flirt back!
do you think i should even remain in contact with him via txt/email? and if so, how would i explain not wanting to meet up with him without actually telling him i love him!?
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bunthulhu
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#7
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Say 'I'm sorry, it just feels weird meeting up with you because you're married. Does your wife know you're planning to meet up with me?'

If he's acting all flirty then it's best not to egg him on by agreeing to meet up as he may get ideas

Don't necessarily cut off all contact but perhaps try not to talk as much, and definitely don't flirt!
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
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(Original post by bunthulhu)
Say 'I'm sorry, it just feels weird meeting up with you because you're married. Does your wife know you're planning to meet up with me?'

If he's acting all flirty then it's best not to egg him on by agreeing to meet up as he may get ideas

Don't necessarily cut off all contact but perhaps try not to talk as much, and definitely don't flirt!
That def makes sense thanks i do still (dont know why though after what he did) respect him as a teacher and would hate not keeping in contact, but its hard to not feel this way.. Guess it will have to be a matter of willpower.. If we do eventually meet up, ill make sure i tell my other friends (also his pupils) to come with us just incase!
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Profesh
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#9
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#9
Find someone else.

It's what I do.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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(Original post by Profesh)
Find someone else.

It's what I do.
yeah you're right.. guess ill have to wait for uni time to find someone cause i dont want to get involved with anyone before i get there. in the meantime suffering away
thanks everyone xxx
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Shreerac1
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, this is going to sound really wierd but here goes.. :rolleyes:

Ive 'loved' my teacher for the past 6 years - first i thought it was just infatuation because i was just a kid (im 18 now) but its become progressively worse now. Ive left this year and he's also leaving; changing his whole career and moving to the uk (but without his family - married and has kids) and i feel so strongly about him. Obviously i cannot do anything about it, i could never do anything! And to top it up, i just found out something really bad about him which has made me question his whole morals etc.. ie this new revelation was meant to be a warning sign for me to stop liking him so much! But its made it worse! We've been discussing meeting up in the uk later on and exchanging numbers (we already txt and email each other - V V innocently, no flirting involved.. well not on my behalf thats for sure!) and i really dont know what to do. I know very well i should NOT get involved, not because he was my teacher but because he's married and has been proven to not be the guy i thought he was. I really need to 'fall out of love' with him, but howwww?? I think about him all the time and really want to be with him and try to stop myself feeling this way, but cant.. anyone have ANY ideas? ANYTHING?! I dont want to end up doing something i know i will regret and i know i shouldn't feel this way (i do know its wrong, give me some slack!).. please help
You're still just a kid, its infatuation. Grow up.
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#12
(Original post by Shreerac1)
You're still just a kid, its infatuation. Grow up.
I dont think im a kid thankyou very much. Initially when i liked him, i was, but for me to feel this way still (and me feeling stronger now) seems to be more than just an infatuation..
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bunthulhu
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That def makes sense thanks i do still (dont know why though after what he did) respect him as a teacher and would hate not keeping in contact, but its hard to not feel this way.. Guess it will have to be a matter of willpower.. If we do eventually meet up, ill make sure i tell my other friends (also his pupils) to come with us just incase!
You're welcome, good to see you're talking sense
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BlackHawk
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#14
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At 18, you still have a lot of growing up to do. You'll meet someone else.
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Anonymous #2
#15
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Walk away, don't wreck a family over it. You can get over it if you really try, and the chances of you and him working out seem slim, is it really worth it?
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Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Walk away, don't wreck a family over it. You can get over it if you really try, and the chances of you and him working out seem slim, is it really worth it?
Thats what im afraid of.. i might feel this way, but he *probably* doesnt and even if he did i dont ever want to destroy his family for something that might not even turn out to be permanent or even realistic. Guess with time and not seeing him as often as before, will make me forget about him..
thanks everyone xx
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medana
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#17
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#17
First of all think about this....would you like to have someone that had left his wife or girlfriend to be with you? what would you say if this will happen to you after a few months or years of being together with him...he just fells in love with another girl and leaves you like he did before....
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medana
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#18
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#18
and something else...did you ever think at the possibility that your 'love' for this person could be actualy just an obsession to have something that you know you can not have...?i don't know yu but you should analyse all aspects...good luck
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Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#19
yeah thats completely true; he could easily leave me (this is all soo hypothetical) for another girl, i wouldnt put it past him.. he's already cheated on his wife..
God its soo hard to get over him - he can be described using an oxymoron: amazing *******! Hopefully with uni, ill be able to forget about him and finally move on cause this has been dragging for ages and making me feel so depressed. thanks y'all xx
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Anonymous #3
#20
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#20
I feel for you. *hugs* There's this rumour that one of my teachers likes me because of a few things he's said. I never really saw him as anything more than a great teacher before that, but now my friends keep drawing attention to his behaviour it's changed things in a way. I'm one of those people who can't differentiate that well between genuinely liking someone, and thinking you like them when really you just like the fact they like you.

I'm younger than you, but like your teacher- he's married with kids whom I've even met. I don't genuinely think I like him in a relationship type way, I more see him a father. It's possible that what you feel for this teacher, while it isn't infatuation; it's not relationship type love either. The problem with student and teacher relationships is that the teacher has the upper hand responsibility wise, and the relationship might not ever be equal. Is it possible you see him as a father figure perhaps? Or even just a friend you'd like to get to know better?

I hope things work out for you, I really do- because it is a really difficult situation. If he's already cheated on his wife, then I would question his morals, and like you said- even leave you if anything did transpire between you.

Good luck, and I hope it all turns out alright.
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