Stop being inlove? Watch

Anonymous #1
#21
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel for you. *hugs* There's this rumour that one of my teachers likes me because of a few things he's said. I never really saw him as anything more than a great teacher before that, but now my friends keep drawing attention to his behaviour it's changed things in a way. I'm one of those people who can't differentiate that well between genuinely liking someone, and thinking you like them when really you just like the fact they like you.

I'm younger than you, but like your teacher- he's married with kids whom I've even met. I don't genuinely think I like him in a relationship type way, I more see him a father. It's possible that what you feel for this teacher, while it isn't infatuation; it's not relationship type love either. The problem with student and teacher relationships is that the teacher has the upper hand responsibility wise, and the relationship might not ever be equal. Is it possible you see him as a father figure perhaps? Or even just a friend you'd like to get to know better?

I hope things work out for you, I really do- because it is a really difficult situation. If he's already cheated on his wife, then I would question his morals, and like you said- even leave you if anything did transpire between you.

Good luck, and I hope it all turns out alright.
:hugs: aww thankyou, its so nice having someone that understands! I know for sure i dont consider him as a father figure; i definately think of him as more of a friend (and more..) but as you said, i do question his morals and that troubles me because normally, if it was any other person, id be completely put off and would condemn them, but in my teacher's case, its attracted me more to him :eek: which really worries me as to the indirect effect this man has on me..
Hopefully things turn out well, i sure hope they do.. And all the best to you too xxx
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Princess In Disguise
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#22
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#22
meet someone else!!!!!
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Anonymous #3
#23
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#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
:hugs: aww thankyou, its so nice having someone that understands! I know for sure i dont consider him as a father figure; i definately think of him as more of a friend (and more..) but as you said, i do question his morals and that troubles me because normally, if it was any other person, id be completely put off and would condemn them, but in my teacher's case, its attracted me more to him :eek: which really worries me as to the indirect effect this man has on me..
Hopefully things turn out well, i sure hope they do.. And all the best to you too xxx
It's possible that it attracted you more because you see him as more attainable now. I know that sounds stupid, but if you saw no evidence of him being less than 100% committed to his wife, you might feel you have less of a chance with him. But because he cheated on his wife, it suggests that possibly you might have a chance.

I keep saying to myself that it can't be anything, because while he does flirt quite a bit (and other people have brought it to my attention even- including my other teacher), he has a family whom he often mentions, i.e. he tells us how he doesn't want to moan at us, and his children will probably receive exactly the same lecture when they're our age etc. I think if he didn't mention his children so much, it would make it seem marginally more possible- which could explain why the idea appeals even more to you now.

Is there a great age difference between you?
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Princess In Disguise
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#24
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#24
hunni,there are tons of guys out there-go out and look for him-maybe this isnt love just an infatuation-its time to move on... forget him....:hugs:
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Anonymous #1
#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
It's possible that it attracted you more because you see him as more attainable now. I know that sounds stupid, but if you saw no evidence of him being less than 100% committed to his wife, you might feel you have less of a chance with him. But because he cheated on his wife, it suggests that possibly you might have a chance.

I keep saying to myself that it can't be anything, because while he does flirt quite a bit (and other people have brought it to my attention even- including my other teacher), he has a family whom he often mentions, i.e. he tells us how he doesn't want to moan at us, and his children will probably receive exactly the same lecture when they're our age etc. I think if he didn't mention his children so much, it would make it seem marginally more possible- which could explain why the idea appeals even more to you now.

Is there a great age difference between you?
Thats interesting actually.. i do think he's more attainable because he's already shown an interest in meeting up when im at uni (weve picked the place to meet already..) and he has always been exceptionally friendly to me. I think he can tell i really like him so he might actually be faking interest or something.. i can never tell with these things!
We have quite a big age gap; 18yrs :eek: Seems big but he acts much younger; almost like a big kid and doesnt even look his age lol! Like your teacher, he always mentions his kids and i know them really well, which has put me into perspective at how realistic 'we' could ever be..

Do you like your teacher though, irrespective of what students/teachers have told you? Its quite wierd that a teacher brought to your attention that he flirts with you..is his character normally flirty or does he do it just with you?
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Anonymous #1
#26
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#26
(Original post by Princess In Disguise)
hunni,there are tons of guys out there-go out and look for him-maybe this isnt love just an infatuation-its time to move on... forget him....:hugs:
ive been with other guys but i still had a soft spot for him and whenever i see him, he just reminds me of how much i like him.. i am trying to get over him, believe me, but its really hard..
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FeedTheGoat
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#27
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#27
(Original post by bunthulhu)
Say 'I'm sorry, it just feels weird meeting up with you because you're married. Does your wife know you're planning to meet up with me?'
I lol'd. Do this. Watch his reaction. Then cringe when you realise that is not what he was anticipating or planning at all.
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FeedTheGoat
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah thats completely true; he could easily leave me (this is all soo hypothetical) for another girl, i wouldnt put it past him.. he's already cheated on his wife..
God its soo hard to get over him - he can be described using an oxymoron: amazing *******! Hopefully with uni, ill be able to forget about him and finally move on cause this has been dragging for ages and making me feel so depressed. thanks y'all xx
I ask this in the nicest possible way... but are you sure he likes you? And doesn't just see you as a pupil? I mean, he may have cheated on his wife but that doesn't mean he goes around like a dog on heat does it?

Or does it?
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Anonymous #1
#29
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#29
(Original post by Dantanion)
I ask this in the nicest possible way... but are you sure he likes you? And doesn't just see you as a pupil? I mean, he may have cheated on his wife but that doesn't mean he goes around like a dog on heat does it?

Or does it?
No im not sure. He's a bit of a flirt with the more slutty female students, but they do flirt with him and so he reciprocates. But with me and him, its different because its like a subtle connection.. i might be imagining it! But he does show interest in meeting up and in staying close in touch, where as he doesnt do this with other pupils. But you're right, he could just see me as a pupil, very likely so in fact! :confused:
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Anonymous #1
#30
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#30
(Original post by Dantanion)
I lol'd. Do this. Watch his reaction. Then cringe when you realise that is not what he was anticipating or planning at all.
hehe, it would be hilariously embarrassing if he came out and told me: 'what did you think? i wanna go out with you or something? dont be silly child!' :eek:
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AndySoOoOoN
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#31
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#31
Ask him if he fancies a shag. You never know!

Seriously though, just look for som1 else, i really doubt you REALLY love him.
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
(Original post by AndyROFL)
Ask him if he fancies a shag. You never know!

Seriously though, just look for som1 else, i really doubt you REALLY love him.
hahah that would definately go down well! haha get it?! ok ok im kidding Ive felt this way for aaaaages though so i doubt its a temp thing, but yeah im going to try and get him out of my head hopefully soon now that i wont be seeing him as much as before..
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sleepy_person!
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
ive been with other guys but i still had a soft spot for him and whenever i see him, he just reminds me of how much i like him.. i am trying to get over him, believe me, but its really hard..
If he is 'that guy,' the one guy you'll never truly get over and will always begin to feel for whenever you see him, then I would suggest that the only way of getting over him would be to completely lose all contact with him. I know that's not what you want to hear because you don't want to lose him as a friend etc, but even if you try to just keep it as texts and email and you have no intention of meeting up with him, as long you are still in contact with him the temptation will always be there.

Sometimes that is the only way to get over somebody, espescially somebody you've liked for so long. Good luck XXX
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Anonymous #3
#34
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#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats interesting actually.. i do think he's more attainable because he's already shown an interest in meeting up when im at uni (weve picked the place to meet already..) and he has always been exceptionally friendly to me. I think he can tell i really like him so he might actually be faking interest or something.. i can never tell with these things!
We have quite a big age gap; 18yrs :eek: Seems big but he acts much younger; almost like a big kid and doesnt even look his age lol! Like your teacher, he always mentions his kids and i know them really well, which has put me into perspective at how realistic 'we' could ever be..

Do you like your teacher though, irrespective of what students/teachers have told you? Its quite wierd that a teacher brought to your attention that he flirts with you..is his character normally flirty or does he do it just with you?
I'm not entirely sure how I feel exactly. Like I said- before it was mentioned to me, I never even noticed it and I never thought of him as anything other than just a really good teacher. It was my friends who first pointed it out in a half joking way because he often made references to my work and he told his other classes about me. They started to look out for any references he made to me, and if you take them out of context and focus on them, I suppose it did seem a little familiar on his behalf.

The more he did it, I guess the more flattered I was. The comments were generally about my work and my supposed ability, and he called me a "goddess". That's the comment which my other teacher picked up on, because one of my friends announced it loudly in the lesson. The other teacher I knew before he came to the school this year though, and he's only a few years older than us- so he mentioned it to me in more of a teasing way.

I really don't know if the comments mean anything. He is a naturally familiar person and forever talks in terrible idioms and cliches and makes awful jokes- so I thought the whole "goddess" thing and the other comments were perhaps just the way he is?

Aughh I don't know if I like him or I just like the way he has this faith in me which I don't have. I doubt he would be interested in me though in that way- I'm only just three years younger than you and he must be in his late thirties or even early forties.
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Anonymous #1
#35
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not entirely sure how I feel exactly. Like I said- before it was mentioned to me, I never even noticed it and I never thought of him as anything other than just a really good teacher. It was my friends who first pointed it out in a half joking way because he often made references to my work and he told his other classes about me. They started to look out for any references he made to me, and if you take them out of context and focus on them, I suppose it did seem a little familiar on his behalf.

The more he did it, I guess the more flattered I was. The comments were generally about my work and my supposed ability, and he called me a "goddess". That's the comment which my other teacher picked up on, because one of my friends announced it loudly in the lesson. The other teacher I knew before he came to the school this year though, and he's only a few years older than us- so he mentioned it to me in more of a teasing way.

I really don't know if the comments mean anything. He is a naturally familiar person and forever talks in terrible idioms and cliches and makes awful jokes- so I thought the whole "goddess" thing and the other comments were perhaps just the way he is?

Aughh I don't know if I like him or I just like the way he has this faith in me which I don't have. I doubt he would be interested in me though in that way- I'm only just three years younger than you and he must be in his late thirties or even early forties.
omg i cannot believe how exactly the same we are!! My teacher says the exact same stuff about me and calls me a heroine instead :p: Thats why im confused with him; are his comments typical or more personalised? Dont start becoming attracted to him, its the worst thing, trust me.. :rolleyes: Just keep thinking that he praises you for your work and nothing else because if u start becoming attracted to him (if you're not already that is) then it changes things.. Both our teachers seem to have the same personality but mine has ended up being an utter ******* im sad to say..
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Anonymous #3
#36
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#36
(Original post by Anonymous)
omg i cannot believe how exactly the same we are!! My teacher says the exact same stuff about me and calls me a heroine instead :p: Thats why im confused with him; are his comments typical or more personalised? Dont start becoming attracted to him, its the worst thing, trust me.. :rolleyes: Just keep thinking that he praises you for your work and nothing else because if u start becoming attracted to him (if you're not already that is) then it changes things.. Both our teachers seem to have the same personality but mine has ended up being an utter ******* im sad to say..
Exactly! I really don't know where I stand with him- the comments are mainly about work, but rather than praising the actual work, he more praises me as a person if that makes sense? Because rather than saying: "Well done- you got X%" he makes the whole "goddess" references and he said on Friday: "What would I do without you?" when I got something right which he didn't.

I really hope I'm not becoming attracted to him- it sounds awful for you. It has changed a bit though, because everyone keeps drawing attention to what he says I can't just see him as someone who teaches me anymore and I'm second guessing everything whilst still trying to persuade myself it's nothing.
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nib
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#37
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#37
Has no-one noticed that it says that Anonymous whatever it is has a join date of 1970?? Like 17/18 years before you were supposedly born??


Confussseddd....:confused: :confused: :confused:
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by nib)
Has no-one noticed that it says that Anonymous whatever it is has a join date of 1970?? Like 17/18 years before you were supposedly born??


Confussseddd....:confused: :confused: :confused:
hehe aww! Thats how it is, its not actually a true date, it applies for all anonymous posts.. dont worry were not 40yrs olds!
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Anonymous #1
#39
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#39
(Original post by sleepy_person!)
If he is 'that guy,' the one guy you'll never truly get over and will always begin to feel for whenever you see him, then I would suggest that the only way of getting over him would be to completely lose all contact with him. I know that's not what you want to hear because you don't want to lose him as a friend etc, but even if you try to just keep it as texts and email and you have no intention of meeting up with him, as long you are still in contact with him the temptation will always be there.

Sometimes that is the only way to get over somebody, espescially somebody you've liked for so long. Good luck XXX
You're absolutely right.. if i got 'rid' of the temptation then it wouldnt bug me? But thats going to be soo hard to do.. i might actually try doing that and i guess its going to need quite a bit of self-determination not to reply/keep in contact.. thanks xxx
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Anonymous #1
#40
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#40
(Original post by Anonymous)
Exactly! I really don't know where I stand with him- the comments are mainly about work, but rather than praising the actual work, he more praises me as a person if that makes sense? Because rather than saying: "Well done- you got X%" he makes the whole "goddess" references and he said on Friday: "What would I do without you?" when I got something right which he didn't.

I really hope I'm not becoming attracted to him- it sounds awful for you. It has changed a bit though, because everyone keeps drawing attention to what he says I can't just see him as someone who teaches me anymore and I'm second guessing everything whilst still trying to persuade myself it's nothing.
His comments can easily be misleading, definately, and its 'understandable' how one can take them as being more (than what they are?). You have to ignore peoples comments or take them as a joke because falling for him (what with him being married especially) is the worst thing. Try to convince yourself that its his character; probably is (hopefully too!).
Does he give anyone else any comments at least, or just you? Maybe its just favouratism cause you might be his best student. I remember my teacher kept going on about this one girl saying how she's going to come top in the world blabla and in the end she didnt make it and he shut up about her!
Just be happy i suppose that he thinks you're a great student and try not to think anything of it because, like i said before, its the worst liking someone you can never (sort of..) have :rolleyes: xx
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