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please help me

I am so thoroughly depressed about my situation everytime I think about it. I'm not making it up, I know it sounds really stupid and pathetic but I find it really upsetting and am starting to think there must be something wrond with me. :frown:

I am 18, although people always comment on how they think I look younger, all my friends lost their virginity years ago and I have never even kissed anyone. I have lied about it so many times because I am so embarrassed. I can't talk to ppl of the other sex without going crimson. All I want you to do is please tell me this is normal, please tell me how I can meet people, how did you meet your bfs/gfs, and how do you tell someone you like them? I feel so stupid, please don't laugh at me, I'd really appreciate your advice

Reply 1

FrisbeeFan

10

Please don't worry. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 19, and hadn't kissed anyone before him (I'm still with him btw, 19 moths later!) It's a lot more normal than you'd think - after all, I bet lots of people your age lie about their sexual experiences! I just didn't happen to meet anyone I felt about in that way until I came to uni. I met him because we were both on the same floor in our uni accomodation, and we also both went to ultimate frisbee. From the moment we met we just clicked; after one evening (playing pool in the bar) I got on better with him that I had done all year with the guys in my kitchen in my first year! He first asked me out about 3 weeks later, but I was so unused to the situation that I dithered for about 6 weeks until I finally said yes!

You're certainly not pathetic and you have nothing to be embarrassed about! As for meeting people, I advise joining some societies/clubs at university. Then you get a wider set of friends than just within your accomodation. I've made some very good friends that way; in fact, better than my college friends.

Good luck!

Reply 2

loggins

17

Yeah, definately don't worry about it! Im sure there are loads of other people in your situation! It will happen, just give it some time! :biggrin:

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I am in the same situation as you, and i know more people like it too.
Your not the only one, and i completely sympathise with you over finding it difficult to meet people. For years, i tried to be someone else and making too much of an effort, but ive now realised that its better to just be myself. I know people have liked me in the past, but ive been too afriad of rejection as ive had little self-confidence. Looking at me, you wouldnt think this- im just your average girl. My only kiss was crap and ive never told people of my lack of experience because of embaressment.
I know exactly how you feel and i know its difficult to keep picking yourself back up again, but live in hope [Like me!] that eventually the right guy will come along and you will be happy.
About the virginity, dont worry about it- i can not stress enough how you are not the only one.
About meeting people, go out with friends you know have different social groups. I have started to 'branch out' as it were and im meeting a hell of a lot of new people. Its difficult, but its worth it. You will only meet new people by making an effort. I know its the typical answer but start a hobby or something which enables you to be in a completely different environment.
I know i sound hypocritical- but im working on all this stuff right now, and my confidence has risen and i am feeling better about myself and the situation im in.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Exactly the same position. I feel like an idiot and i think my family think im odd for never having a boyfriend.

I hate it - it's really frustrating but instead of going with just anyone I'm waiting for a decent bloke - not that ive had many offers!

Even my 16 year old sister has lost her virginity before me and I'm nearly 19.

Reply 5

Anonymous #4

i was 18 wen i came to uni...my first kiss my first bf and yea i lied abt it all the time.the relationship ended within 6wks even though it was serious and he said he loved me.the circumstances of the breakup (him cheating) and him being my first course was hard - first cut is the deepest.You need to realise that relationships are pretty overrated and dont hinge hope on it cuz it just is not worth the pain.I felt weird...i felt like a 'minger'...my self confidence was at a low...before i got w/ him and i know how it feels.It pisses me off wen my mates talkin abt going on 'the pull' or whom they've shagged.it doesnt matter. think of it as wen the time comes ull find the person.and i for a fact know id like to be w/ sum1 who hasnt had numerous relationships/sexual incounters in the past cuz it means wot we'd have wuld be even better and special.keep the faith.be urself...
I dont think ill have another bf for a while..and that shuldnt matter.
:smile:

ase x

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

All I want you to do is please tell me this is normal
It's normal.

Anonymous

how did you meet your bfs/gfs
I haven't.

It's normal.

Reply 7

JustJam2006

9

Anonymous

I am so thoroughly depressed about my situation everytime I think about it. I'm not making it up, I know it sounds really stupid and pathetic but I find it really upsetting and am starting to think there must be something wrond with me. :frown:

I am 18, although people always comment on how they think I look younger, all my friends lost their virginity years ago and I have never even kissed anyone. I have lied about it so many times because I am so embarrassed. I can't talk to ppl of the other sex without going crimson. All I want you to do is please tell me this is normal, please tell me how I can meet people, how did you meet your bfs/gfs, and how do you tell someone you like them? I feel so stupid, please don't laugh at me, I'd really appreciate your advice

Hey I know it must be hard when your friends seem to be moving quicker than you are in the relationship stakes. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I am nearly 20 :eek:

and have never had a boyfriend nor been kissed :rolleyes:

. As for meeting people, the gym or going out with these friends to parties and things may be a good way of meeting people. Do not by any means think that alcohol is necessary to enjoy yourself at a party...Are you going to university because you will naturally meet so many like minded people ( including guys :wink:

) that socialising with them and talking to them won't be a big deal. As for telling someone you like them...i'm currently going through the same dilemma myself and would say just be direct and honest ....

Hope that helps and good luck :smile:

P.S. This is normal........

Reply 8

username47781

20

Well it's refreshing to hear that there are girls at that age still a virgin, you should be proud not sad, least you not slept with half the town like a few girls i know, please do not rush, there is plenty of time for you to find the one.

Reply 9

robby88

1

i'll make love to you - no questions need to be asked :smile:

lol

Reply 10

Gem

14

Not losing your virginity at 18 is not unusual at all. You're just wating till you find the right person, there is nothing wrong with that at all :smile:

Be proud of who you are!

Reply 11

Anonymous #5

Anonymous

I am so thoroughly depressed about my situation everytime I think about it. I'm not making it up, I know it sounds really stupid and pathetic but I find it really upsetting and am starting to think there must be something wrond with me. :frown:

I am 18, although people always comment on how they think I look younger, all my friends lost their virginity years ago and I have never even kissed anyone. I have lied about it so many times because I am so embarrassed. I can't talk to ppl of the other sex without going crimson. All I want you to do is please tell me this is normal, please tell me how I can meet people, how did you meet your bfs/gfs, and how do you tell someone you like them? I feel so stupid, please don't laugh at me, I'd really appreciate your advice

Hey there, you're totally normal!!! Seriously you are. I got my first bf in my late 18, that just last for about 3 months, and now i'm single AGAIN. Being single is not a bad thing actually, u'll have lots of freedom, u can pick carefully among the guys that you know, and u can flirt when ever your want! Don't rush into a relationship just because you hope to experience it. Trust me. I did it and it gave me nothing but a shamefull and worthless first love (well, i didn't consider it as love anyway). If u want to have a fab experience, you need to wait for the right one. So, chill out. Good Luck

xxx

Reply 12

Anonymous #6

I lost my virginity at 19 and that person was the first girl i kissed. I also look so young and thought i wasn't really attractive. Also i used to go weird infront of girls, i was so quiet and couldn't even talk to them properly if i didn't know them too well, i always messed it up lol.

When i went uni i got a lil more confident and i found that girls actually liked me and thought i was attractive too. It's a good thing not losing ur virginity imo, your bf/gf will value this and you're in a position where you can lose it to one special person and even share your first kiss with.

I wish i saved mine and didn't sleep with my ex!

Look at it as a good thing! It truely is even if you don't think it is. I'm kinda glad i was like that.

Reply 13

Louher

Your completely normal, I have a lot of friends who are still virgins and i'm 20. It's not a competition anyhow just go with the flow - it will happen when it happens :smile:

I met my b/f in a bar. Go out with your friends and have fun and get talking to people. You'll most probably meet someone when you least expect it though!

You are you.

It is totally normal and you are in a better place than many people who have slept around and probably now regret it.

Reply 16

Anonymous #7

snap, same situation as well dude

Reply 17

cally

I had my first proper kiss only in march this year (aged 17), and I'm not bothered about it because it made the moment more special. And yes I am shy around girls, but all you can do is be completely genuine =)

Reply 18

Shreerac1

10

Why do people focus all their energies on losing their virginity? Achieving others things can be fulfilling.

Reply 19

Sheen

11

i dont see why people lie about it to their friends.
most of my mates lost their virginity when they were like 15 to people they didnt know or whatever. i didnt lose mine until i was nearly 18 when i got my first boyfriend and hes the only boyfriend ive had to far and we're still together nearly two years on.
i was a late starter with this stuff too.
i didnt get my first kiss until like 17 and it happened with a girl which i didnt expect.
i didnt get my first boyfriend until like 6 months later.
it was annoying having mates who were so experienced with everything and i wasnt experienced at all but what could i do about it.
i didnt want to rush into anything i wasnt ready for like some of them did.
i also didnt feel the need to lie and say i did stuff when i havnt because in a way that would say that i feel ashamed about it and i wasnt and you really shouldnt, as theres nothing wrong with it.
theres nothing wrong with not being that experienced because when the right one comes along im sure they'll be happy for be your first.

please help me

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