This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Text him or not?

Emerald

...

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1

generalebriety

Maybe his phone messed up? :confused:

I've received texts as soon as my phone's given me them only to find they were dated from days, weeks, even months previously.

I'll say the same as I say to everyone in this situation. Yes, it's legal, but you knew that; more to the point is the fact that no matter what I say or anyone else says there will always be people who disagree with anything because of the age difference and the media's current obsession with paedophilia. Stay in contact as friends through email or something - texting is too friendly, and flirting is too dangerous, in the sense that if other people find out you're flirting they may well abandon you or try to get him into trouble.

Therefore, any opinion anyone here gives is invalid and useless, because you will be looked down upon for it.

Reply 2

Emerald

...

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I started the 'Teacher' thread - i am in a similar situation as i have definite feelings for someone who was my teacher and want to stay in touch, even if only as friends. I say text him - i wrote a little letter inside a card (but i would have text him if i could) and he said he would love to keep in touch and we have continued to communicate through email. If you dont try you won't know and you wont keep in touch. Worst case scenario he doesnt text u back - just the same situation as if you never tried!

Reply 4

generalebriety

There is a 14-year difference between my parents - and, interestingly, a 12-year difference between me and my brother. (That's irrelevant, but a fun fact anyway. :biggrin:

) Unfortunately many people seem to think the older you get the less significant an age difference is. While this may generally be true, there can be exceptions, and your case may well be an exception. Besides, they then mess up their opinion by believing the older a person gets, the more likely he (never she) is to be perverted. I say their opinions are stereotyped and pure crap. But I'm not "many people", and even if I don't look down on you for it (mainly because in principle I see nothing at all wrong with it, it's all legal and morally justified, and if you're committed to each other then it's no one's place to tell you you're not), many people will. :smile:

In the end it's your decision, just be aware that no matter what the open-minded people here say, there will be people, probably many more people, who disagree, and they'll be the ones to abandon you and (predominantly) him for it.

Reply 5

generalebriety

Anonymous

Worst case scenario he doesnt text u back - just the same situation as if you never tried!

Yes, assuming it remains friendly, but this is flirty. Worst case scenario, he gets branded a paedophile and she gets branded a slut and all the Sun readers clap the dust off their hands in pride at having spoilt another perfectly honest and legitimate but unorthodox potential relationship. All it needs is a parent or friend to find the phone. Gossip will spread or an angry parent will phone the school and give the headmaster an earful, who then takes the situation seriously for the reputation of the school just in case, and the teacher loses his job, it all goes to court, he loses, and he gets stuck on some list in some MP's drawer somewhere.

That's the worst case scenario. Best case scenario is that no one will care.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

not likely if she has left, and it is handled correctly - i mean if she sleeps with him before the school year has technically even finished thats not so great, but if they keep in touch and let any relationship develop naturally over time it will be clear he did not 'take advantage' while she was a pupil.

Reply 7

generalebriety

You would be surprised how many people do not see it that way. Just look at the countless other threads saying similar things.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

i think sometimes people on TSR just like to argue! From my experience, in school people had a problem, now they dont. Is strange actually Lol!

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Yeah ive got to agree with generalebrity's worst case senario idea; it makes absolute sense. The difficulty with your situation is that he hasnt taught you (i got that bit right ye?), cause if he did teach you, you could then txt to say 'thanks for everything, hope we stay in contact blabla' and then take it from there.. but in your case i dont know how you would start it off. Saying outright that you think he's a friend is a bit forward in my opinion. Yes its fine i suppose to stay in touch; i intend to with my teacher and in fact am in a similar position (only he has taught me for years and is married with kids :s-smilie:

); we have txt before about school stuff and emailed frequently, and have arranged to meet (he's changing career) in the uk..
I dont think you should be so upfront about wanting to be friends etc cause that might scare him a bit and if people (colleagues of his) find out you stay in v close touch, they might think this has been going on from before when u were at school.. dont know really, maybe email would be your safest bet, it seems a little less personal :smile:

Reply 10

devilgirl999

if it was me id email him instead

Reply 11

tanusha-tomsk

"wait for him to text" - he won't. Even if he likes you as a friend / more he won't text you because he might think that you'll be uncomfortable and that you've got plenty of friends your age. If he likes you romantically he might see the whole "teacher-student" thing as wrong.

Reply 12

littlemissalex

tanusha-tomsk

yeah true, he wouldn't really make the first move; seriously doubt he would. Email is the safest bet :smile:

Reply 13

matt@internet

Interesting how it's only ever girls confessing to liking their teachers. Either guys rarely grow to like their teachers in that way (certainly not as much as girls) or guys are more ashamed to admit liking their teachers (for reasons unknown).
OP I think generalebriety's first post was right on the mark.