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Using guys? Hurting people!

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Reply 40

Just to point out, I did back it up, but you, being perfectly entitled to your own opinion, disagreed with me :smile: You yourself seem far too eager to taint the whole of the female population around my age with the big fat slut brush, so you're not in such a position to be giving me a telling off :p:

Anyway we're getting off topic. Assuming you're not on your time of the month and that's why you're attacking anyone who so much as raises an eyebrow :p:, kindly remember that I was agreeing with you and that this thread is about something entirely different! :smile:

Reply 41

bunthulhu
Just to point out, I did back it up, but you, being perfectly entitled to your own opinion, disagreed with me :smile: You yourself seem far too eager to taint the whole of the female population around my age with the big fat slut brush, so you're not in such a position to be giving me a telling off :p:

Anyway we're getting off topic. Assuming you're not on your time of the month and that's why you're attacking anyone who so much as raises an eyebrow :p:, kindly remember that I was agreeing with you and that this thread is about something entirely different! :smile:


I agree that maybe I did go a bit over the top, I will try to keep a bit more calm in future! :smile: Anyway, what do you mean by 'on your time of the month'?

Reply 42

Thank you, sorry if I offended you :smile:

It was just a joke about how girlies (including myself :biggrin:) are often like volcanoes at their time of the month - ready to blow their top at the littlest thing! :biggrin:

I think you are a boy though? But they don't have times of the month so I was improvising :biggrin:

Reply 43

bunthulhu
Thank you, sorry if I offended you :smile:

It was just a joke about how girlies (including myself :biggrin:) are often like volcanoes at their time of the month - ready to blow their top at the littlest thing! :biggrin:

I think you are a boy though? But they don't have times of the month so I was improvising :biggrin:


No, you didn't offend me :smile:
I thought you were improvising, just making sure that you knew that us guys are fortunate and don't have to go through a time of the month! :p:

Reply 44

Haha yes, I assure you I am all too aware of it *shakes fist* :biggrin:

Reply 45

Amnesia
Look at today's youth. The last thing I would describe any of the slags as is 'motherly'.

thats the word i was looking for in my first post!
*runs away to change it*

Reply 46

Anonymous
I am planning on breaking up with Alex (my boyfriend), I just have to wait a little while till he's a little less depressed.
I'm glad that at least someone else here seems to think the same way I do. It's not like I do it just deiberately to hurt people, I just can't help needing to have what I want. And I do genuinely like the people I start seeing.
The photogrpaher is much more laid back, we just had a conversation on the phone about going surfing together in cornwall. I think it might work out but I am going to uni so that's another ****ing stone in the works!


That line there I've highlighted in bold. You're gonna "can't help needing to have what you want" when you get into a relationship and since relationships are about compromise and sacrifice, if you hold onto that "I just can't help it" attitude - call me harsh, but I don't think you'll ever have a successful relationship. And you do sound like you want one at some point.

Besides, what I don't get is, why would you like that "would he, won't he" mind games? It serves to confuse and make people insecure and that's a brilliant one to break a relationship, if one eventually comes about. What you need in a relationship is trust - and starting out with a guy by "playing mind games" with him doesn't exactly establish trust or love or anything that resembles what a relationship needs in order for it to grow.

Sorry if I've been harsh, but I just thought you needed someone to tell you. "I can't help it" is not an excuse. You would not see "I can't help it" as a reason if the person's desire was to rape or murder or abuse. What makes playing with people's hearts anymore "ok"? If someone you fell in love with then turns round and says - I'm bored with you so you can take a hike now, I can't help it - I'm sure you won't think that's a very valid reason.

Reply 47

it pisses me off like hell when people like the OP have love interests which overlap. are you just going to go on forever leaving one guy because you've found another, then another, then another?

and don't say you can't help feeling what you're feeling for Mr Surfer, and if you really can't help it then stop acting on it. One guy at a time. If a bf of mine was seeing another girl while still with me, then split up with me because he liked her more, i'd kick his ass till the bruises made paisley patterns.

it shows you're relationship with your bf is not genuine. if it was you wouldn't be distracted so much by other men.

Reply 48

i think you need to re-evaluate what you want from relationships, whether you even want relationships, and if so then what kind. Then look for someone who wants the same things.

You also need to work on some of your issues too imo, like self-discipline, being able to control your emotions rather than your emotions controlling you. I also think you need to try to become a little bit more mature and hence develop your outlook on relationships and life to a more sensible and less hurtful one.

Maybe this will help you as you've said you don't like hurting guys.

Reply 49

bunthulhu
You act that way towards guys, while you have a boyfriend? I feel sorry for him. Why don't you just stop messing with these poor guy's heads and just pick someone? Preferably your boyfriend, cause he's the one who really stands to get hurt here.


I agree with many of you but this was the best point made the quote above, Stop it now, if you got problems with your boyfriend this is not the way to solve it. If you two were to actually communicate and actually talk to each other and see where its going wrong then maybe you can actually put it right, or are you just looking for a way out, at least if your gonna play the field and chat up other guys least end it with your boyfriend, it's not fair on him, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL if it was you and your boyfriend was the one chasing other girls.

Reply 50

I have some advice for you. Try and view other people in the world as living people with emotions. Your actions may have an affect on those people. Either accept that you're willing to be selfish and ignore those other people's feelings for your own pleasure, or act in a way that will avoid needlessly hurting others as far as that is possible.

Reply 51

Whore?

Reply 52

Anonymous
but I am a very lucky girl!


Doesn't sound that way to me.

Reply 53

Amnesia
To the OP why don't you do us all a favour and become a lesbian.


Noo- think of the poor lesbians who will suffer at the hands of this girl! :p:

Anyway, to the OP- I know what you mean sometimes with enjoying the chase and once it all settles down it's less enjoyable. But I think this is something which will change as you get older, and maybe more mature. I know you're already 18, but I think your attitude to relationships may mature still.

I think you also need some time to sit down and really consider your feelings. You say you flirted with this guy immediately, and I think you possibly were acting before you thought about the possible ramifications. You might genuinely like this guy, and feel things are over with your boyfriend. Alternatively, it could just appeal to you because it seems a challenge right now. Either way, you need to step back and consider your feelings before rushing into making any decisions.

If you do want to end it with your boyfriend, it may be hard; but I think your honesty will be appreciated by all in the long run. I'm sure this surfer would prefer that you aren't still involved someone else. They deserve you being honest to them.

Good luck, I hope things work out. :smile:

Reply 54

Who gave me good rep for this thread but didn't leave their name? Thankyou whoever it was :smile:

I agree with most of the recent posts :smile: It seems like the OP has stopped replying but I agree with what Laika said - she needs to come to terms with what she's really like. OP if you do care about other people, you need to change how you act, and if you don't then fine, but at least admit to it.

Reply 55

to the OP: I used to be like that. It can be fun, but it lets you end up broken and empty, taking drugs and dying a kept woman at 29... at least that´s what I would´ve ended as had I not taken the way out aka a loving fiancée who adores me and whom I adore. agreed, you have to find someone to be able to feel taht way with, but you HAVE to stop the using guys. really. believe me.

Reply 56

I suspect she has low self esteem and needs the extra attention and also she may have not had a happy life during her childhood but still no excuse to go using guys especially already having a boyfriend.

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