doesn't care and doesn't find me sexy...

My bf has been away for vacations with his mates and he didn't try to call/sms/email me at all. I know it might be hard to find a computer, but we're in Europe and it doesn't cost that much money to write an email from an internet cafe in five minutes. He also was supposed to be back yesterday, but I think he gave me the wrong return date because they aren't back yet. I know he might have messed up and that he loves me and all, but sometimes I just can't help getting really really depressed about whether he even cares for me at all...then as soon as I am with him I forgive and forget because I love him so much. :frown:

Another, more long term thing...I think I am physically pretty attractive (at least lots of guys say so, call me "hot" and "sexy" and "fit" or at least they comment on my legs or butt once in a while - even guys I don't know. I get whistled at on the street :p:

). The most my boyfriend has ever said was that I "look pretty" on a particular day (more due to clothes than the way I myself actually look). I've slept with him and called him "hot" many times and told him how he turns me on, but he never paid back with the same coin. I do lots of sports and so I do have a nice body, but I always think I'm not "sexy" enough for my bf... :frown:

How should I go about these two problems?

Thanks xoxo :punk:

Reply 1

kizer

15

Both problems sound like him being a **** boyfriend. How long have you been going out?

Reply 2

Barny

17

Some guys just find it hard to pay compliments, I for one find it very hard, if hes with you then you should realise he finds you sexy and fancies you :smile:

Reply 3

generalebriety

16

x.narb.x

Some guys just find it hard to pay compliments, I for one find it very hard, if hes with you then you should realise he finds you sexy and fancies you :smile:

Agreed. I'd concentrate more on the fact that he is actually having sex with you than how talkative he is during it.

As for internet cafe... pff. I've never seen an internet cafe other than on tv in my life. :p:

Don't assume it's been possible for him to contact you. Maybe there was a problem with his flight and he'll be back within a couple of days? :confused:

Reply 4

Seeks

x.narb.x

Some guys just find it hard to pay compliments, I for one find it very hard, if hes with you then you should realise he finds you sexy and fancies you :smile:

Cant really say more than that. In the end he is with you, not with someone else so he must find you attractive in some sense of the word

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

We've been together for 10 months.

I guess you guys are right about the being with me = finding me attractive part...I've just always been kinda insecure about the way I look myself and recently I started noticing that all these other guys are telling me how good I look and my bf never ever gets even close to telling me. It's not a big problem if he doesn't (it's a really little thing, but it still kinda bugs me every time I hear it from other guys (they say it in front of him sometimes to put him off)).

Thanks to all of you! :redface:

Reply 6

Seeks

Anonymous

We've been together for 10 months.

I guess you guys are right about the being with me = finding me attractive part...I've just always been kinda insecure about the way I look myself and recently I started noticing that all these other guys are telling me how good I look and my bf never ever gets even close to telling me. It's not a big problem if he doesn't (it's a really little thing, but it still kinda bugs me every time I hear it from other guys (they say it in front of him sometimes to put him off)).

Thanks to all of you! :redface:

you just have to be confident. In the end if he didnt find you physically attractive (i am sure he does find you attractive btw), but if he didnt surely the fact that he finds you "attractive" in general (personality etc) is more important...

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Ok, sure, I understand and I am really grateful that he started liking me as a "person" and not as a "body"...

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

I'd just REALLY like to hear "you look sexy today" some time when, say, I'm brushing my teeth next to him or on an equally random moment...

Reply 9

sweetface.

Sometimes, it's better to start loving yourslef before you love someone else. If you start to look after yourself more, like pamper yourself. Then your boyfirend might notice then if he starts saying your "fit" "hot and "sexy" then he's a keeper. If he does not say anthing then you should know where you stand. When you next seem him, keep thinking in your head that you are sexy and attactive, and hopefully your boyfirend will notice that new attutide of yours.

Reply 10

Alewhey

I think you are over-reacting (possibly being "clingy" because you haven't seen him for a while). If you have been going out with you for 10 months he clearly does care and does find you sexy. If it bothers you that he doesn't say so... just ask him about it! He won't think its weird, he'll think it is cute that you worry about him like that. And as a male he probably won't realising it is upsetting you unless you tell him. After all... girls are crazy.

Reply 11

bunthulhu

14

My boyfriend of almost 2 years acted exactly the same way up til about 6 months ago when he started showering me with compliments left right and centre! He still does it and I can tell he means it so maybe it's just a matter of time? I'm sure he does feel that way but maybe just hasn't progressed to the point where he's comfortable in expressing it so openly? :smile:

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

I know how you feel (well not the "doesn't find me sexy" part as only last night he sent me a text.... anyway back to you)

I do understand were you are coming from in regards to the rest. My bf constantly tells me how much he loves me etc. But i sometimes get the impression that he doesn't care. The other night we had a really heated argument & were not on speaking terms, then we kinda talk through it, yet he has not made the effort other than the odd phone call to be with me or show me that he cares. Last night he went out with his friends, and was chillin with them all day, today he spent all day again at his friends and just came by to bring me something i asked him for, then swiftly got off so that he could watch the football. & Its something he has been doing later ALOT... even though i tell him i feel really neglected and let down by him. I even suggested we take a break to see if he really wants to be in the relationship but he refused. I feel sooo trapped. Perhaps you should suggest a break in your relationship to 1. see his reaction 2. see whether he really is the person for you (the old saying if you let someone go...if they come back....bla..bla..bla you know the rest).

Remeber also that the male species sometimes, can be soo darrn inconsiderate :mad:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

haha girls ARE crazy...

I think I have a little bit of a confidence issue around him that I don't have around other guys because I find him perfect perfect perfect and that makes me feel all the more imperfect around him.

I have been trying hard to look good and feel good about it, just as Lyndzxx said. And it's a big difference to the time when I wasn't dating him. Before, for example, I wouldn't care that much for my nails and perfume and now I care more...it's just that the only person who doesn't notice is my bf and it makes me feel like I'm not doing enough to look good...

Oh well, I am not seeing this as a big deal. It was just something that occurred to me...

Reply 14

sweetface.

Well if it he makes you feel self-concious you need to talk to him about it, maybe he might reasure you.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

oops, i meant the guy who said "make his dinner etc."

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

I didn't mean you, sorry. Someone posted a really rude post that got removed and while it was being removed by a moderator I told them to piss the hell off and so now it looks like I said that to you. You DID help me, a lot. Sorry for hte misunderstanding and thanks again. :redface:

Reply 17

Andy Spark

1

I think I've probably told my ex that she looks good in the two months since we've split than the 8 months we were together. Shocking, huh?

Of course I said she looked amazing when we were together, and meant it...but unless it was a party that she was dressing up for or just a day that she looked 'just...wow...', I didn't feel compelled to say it. That doesn't mean I didn't think she was the most beautiful girl on earth and I was so f'n lucky to be with her. I bet he feels the same about you - it's just he feels a little weird saying it when you look the same as you always have: ie - he might be thinking you might then think "but then why doesn't he say it EVERYday because I look like this EVERYday!" and get too reliant on compliments. :redface:

I dunno...

Reply 18

shady lane

16

Tell him that other guys say it to you. If he feels he has a bit of competition maybe he'll shape up.

Reply 19

banksy

1

Anonymous

My bf has been away for vacations with his mates and he didn't try to call/sms/email me at all. I know it might be hard to find a computer, but we're in Europe and it doesn't cost that much money to write an email from an internet cafe in five minutes. He also was supposed to be back yesterday, but I think he gave me the wrong return date because they aren't back yet. I know he might have messed up and that he loves me and all, but sometimes I just can't help getting really really depressed about whether he even cares for me at all...then as soon as I am with him I forgive and forget because I love him so much. :frown:

Another, more long term thing...I think I am physically pretty attractive (at least lots of guys say so, call me "hot" and "sexy" and "fit" or at least they comment on my legs or butt once in a while - even guys I don't know. I get whistled at on the street :p:

). The most my boyfriend has ever said was that I "look pretty" on a particular day (more due to clothes than the way I myself actually look). I've slept with him and called him "hot" many times and told him how he turns me on, but he never paid back with the same coin. I do lots of sports and so I do have a nice body, but I always think I'm not "sexy" enough for my bf... :frown:

How should I go about these two problems?

Thanks xoxo :punk:

Let us decide on your levels of sexiness, pictures always help :wink:

doesn't care and doesn't find me sexy...

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