I have no friends, so low and lonely and embarrassed of my life. Help 😞

Hellomynameis1

Title says it all...

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Reply 1

qr95

What in particular do you need help/advice on?

Reply 2

lNurl

"Let's be friends forever"

Reply 3

xDave-

We can't really suggest anything if you don't give us some sort of story behind it all and some information about yourself

Reply 4

Hellomynameis1

I don't even know, just how to make social skills better I suppose.. I have anxiety/depression barely leave the house unless I'm going to lectures. Want to get better and be a better person :frown:

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Reply 5

FormerlyFrisbeeFan

Are you receiving any treatment for the anxiety and depression? I suffer from both, though not as much now as I did at university. One of my biggest regrets is for not seeking out help earlier - feeling too embarrassed and ashamed of being how I was to go to the doctor.

Reply 6

Hellomynameis1

Ok just a slight background information so my housemates are all second years and knew each other previously, I knew one of the girls as she is an ex boyfriends best friends girlfriend (confusing I know) but we fell out at the start of term and everything has just been awkward ever since. I feel like they are all really close so struggle to include myself within the group.. Just hide away in my room all the time.. It's not even like I have other friends I have about 1 good friend from home and one best friend who lives in a town close by..

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Reply 7

Hellomynameis1

I've seeked medical help and am on anti depressants but I don't feel as if I have got any better as of yet .. Maybe it's been about 3 weeks

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Reply 8

Hellomynameis1

I don't have anything I'm particularly interested in but I did used to enjoy dance at school, tv shows things like that

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Reply 9

FormerlyFrisbeeFan

Sometimes antidepressants take a few weeks to start working. Maybe you could try counselling? I've found it really helpful. I know it's a cliche, but despite feeling horribly low and socially inadequate, I found a couple of clubs and societies which I'd always fancied trying and made myself go, telling myself that any awkwardness would be worth it for the experience of the sports themselves. Luckily, I was right - yes I did have times when I felt painfully shy and embarrassed, but over time I made some friends, and improved my social abilities in general. Oh, and I had fun as well :biggrin:

I'd really, really recommend it. Going to societies or clubs is often a better way to meet like-minded people you'll become good friends with than the lottery of who you end up living with.

Reply 10

+ polarity -

Original post by FormerlyFrisbeeFan

so er did you go to a GP first or someone else?

Reply 11

Hellomynameis1

Original post by FormerlyFrisbeeFan

I'd really, really recommend it. Going to societies or clubs is often a better way to meet like-minded people you'll become good friends with than the lottery of who you end up living with.

Yes I am seeing the councillor at Uni after Christmas, I think societies etc would be a good idea also so that is definately something I will look into!! Also trying to get a part time job to meet people that way but just feel I am such an awkward, shy person it is really ruining my life 😞 don't feel close to anyone in my life.. Ah so depressed

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Reply 12

FormerlyFrisbeeFan

Original post by + polarity -

so er did you go to a GP first or someone else?

I did go to my GP first, but only after a few years of feeling terrible. Once I got to my GP, things moved along and I got medication and a referral for counselling. I just wish I'd done it sooner.

Reply 13

+ polarity -

Original post by FormerlyFrisbeeFan

I did go to my GP first, but only after a few years of feeling terrible. Once I got to my GP, things moved along and I got medication and a referral for counselling. I just wish I'd done it sooner.

okay thanks

Reply 14

FormerlyFrisbeeFan

Original post by Hellomynameis1

Speaking as a shy person myself I can only say that you're not alone! I've left university now and am working as a teacher, so I can verify the old saying that facing your fears is the only way to reduce them. It sounds like you've got your head screwed on right. Getting a part time job is a really good idea - something that I personally couldn't have contemplated while still at uni, so I applaud you for it. I don't think people who aren't shy truly understand the horror of it and how difficult it makes doing things they would consider to be absolutely normal. Try to think of it this way - facing your fears, as you intend to do, shows that you have inner strength. Things can only get better, and they will.