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dump him or not?

this is going to be really long but im really confused and cant really talk to anyone of my frends as their opinion will be biased. basically the story is me and my bf have been togeva for nearly a year. im going to see him tomorow for the first time after a month as he was away on holiday. the thing is i am 60% sure that i want to dump him. and yet all my frends are telling me im making the worst decesion and im so confused myself. so ive compiled reasons why i want to dump him and why i want to keep him.

the reasons i want to dump him are:

1) he doesnt call/text me
2) hrdly see him (partly coz were both so busy)
3) l always hear stuff bot him and other girls (not sure wether its tru or not)

reasons why i dont want to dump him:

1) i trully like him near to the point of loving him
2) his so sweet n genuinly does care for me ALOT
3) Its mainly my fault that i dont see him as my parents are strict

im so confused....i know this is really long. but i would love to hear your views on it, especialy on what you girls would take on this. i have to make my mind up for tomorow as im meeting him. thank you

Reply 1

strawberry

13

compile a complete list of pros and cons.
if pros outweigh, consider keeping him.
if cons outweigh, drop him like a hot potato.

that's my method anyway...

Reply 2

mc_watson87

18

Don't

Reply 3

helloworld

6

talk to him about girls and how you want to see each other more if he doesnt understand how you feel there is no possible way you can move your relationship on! If he gets nervous or anything when u mention other girls then thats a bit suspicious so hesn ot worth it maybe

Reply 4

strawberry

13

btw when I Say my method, it doesn't mean I use it. LOL I still am very unsure even if cons outweigh.

Reply 5

AndySoOoOoN

Have you spoke to him about the lack of texts calls? Have you spoke to him about wanting to see him more? Have you spoke to him about other girls? Have you spoke to him about his feelings?

What ever happened to people just working things out :\.

Reply 6

Seeks

In the end sounds like you made your mind up. Just think of what it would be like without him.... and then with him. Also think what it may do to him, what his life would be like with and without you. There are a lot of things to take into account, but by the sounds of ti all the problems you mentioned are pretty easy to sort out by talking, so maybe you should give that a go before you consider dumping him...

Reply 7

generalebriety

16

What ever happened to communication?

I'd say don't dump him, but I'm not you. Look at your "reasons I don't want to dump him" and ask yourself what could be better in a relationship. Do you ever call or text him? Even something slightly "cute" like "if my parents are going to carry on like this i reckon we need to text each other more! :tongue:

" would do it. Of course if it doesn't speak to him but come on... you're in a loving relationship with him so he should be the first person you could talk to about this.

Reply 8

LIVELOVELAUGH

you said that he cares for you ALOT. but you also said he hardly texts you and you hear rumours about him and other girls?? that doesnt make sense they contradict. firstly i would find out if the rumours are true. and secondy if you dont see someone for a while, it is easy to convince yourself out of liking them?? are you sure your just convincing yourself??

personally i think you both need to talk, and see where that talk leads you. follow you gut feeling :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

i have tried several times to talk to him about the calling/texting, but his excuse is always he doesnt have credit. he tries calling me from his frends fone sometimes but that once in a while. when i try to talk bot meeting, its always the fact that he aint got time - his usually free at night as he works and goes to uni. whereas im in sixth form n not allowed out at night. so we clash. i've dun the talking so that hopeless.

Reply 10

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

i have tried several times to talk to him about the calling/texting, but his excuse is always he doesnt have credit. he tries calling me from his frends fone sometimes but that once in a while. when i try to talk bot meeting, its always the fact that he aint got time - his usually free at night as he works and goes to uni. whereas im in sixth form n not allowed out at night. so we clash. i've dun the talking so that hopeless.

So really he has a perfect excuse for everything and you're not happy about that? Meet up at the weekends or something. If you're that bothered give him £20 and tell him it'll keep him in credit for a week or so if he's texting you as much as he should be. :smile:

But of course you won't because you're both students and money is tight. So his excuses make perfect sense to me.

Reply 11

tashk

to me its a bit worrying that you have been together for nearly a year, and you arent in love with him. how about calling him? arrange a time or something when you are both at home to call each other or talk on the internet. if he doesnt sound too enthustatic about this, you should seriously reconsider the relationship.

Reply 12

podder

1

to be honest it looks like it isnt working. talk to him though and take it in turns talking through points you are upset about. if afyer that you still feel you dont want to be with him then finish it.... you say one reason u wana stay with him is that he genuily cares about you but at same time your saying he doesnt ring you and he may be messing about with other girls?

Reply 13

lilmissnaughty

a year and almost in love ??? Isnt that unhealthily slow??

*drop him like hes hot, drop him like hes hot*

I got engaged after 7 weeks, then again that may be unhealthily fast :s :smile:

Reply 14

zav

14

a year and almost in love ??? Isnt that unhealthily slow??

Yeh would agree seems a bit slow. I do feel like if you feel he is nice but you don't love him maybe good friends?

*drop him like hes hot, drop him like hes hot*

Maybe a bit harsh. I don't think he has done anything wrong by the sounds of things. You mention other girls but what about them? Whats been said? Guys at uni will hang out and go out with girs does not mean anything is going on. Again you need to ask him about this if your worried.

I got engaged after 7 weeks, then again that may be unhealthily fast :s

Sorry what? 7 weeks, blimey well i guess you two must really love each other.

Reply 15

lilmissnaughty

hes prob not done anything wrong, but if your considering breaking up it probably wont last long anyway.xx

Reply 16

username47781

20

He may have actually run out of credit give him a chance, least discuss everything when he gets back before you make any decisions

Reply 17

zav

14

lilmissnaughty

hes prob not done anything wrong, but if your considering breaking up it probably wont last long anyway.xx

It can, i might struggle on with neither off you saying what you really think

Not that i have ever done that or been there.....

:lies:

Reply 18

khil

15

If money's a problem - ask him to email. It's free. He can't be too busy for a paragraph-long email if he really cares.

Reply 19

zav

14

True though you can't do that when your out. Unless you get a crackberry maybe a birthday present :P

dump him or not?

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