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Is this degrading?
Had a girly night on Friday with my 4 best friends, and, the conversation got round to sex/boyfriends etc, as it sometimes does. Anyway, we were talking about going down on our boyfriends, and one of my friends says she'd do it kneeling in front of her boyfriend because he likes it like that. (ie him standing up in front of her). I, and 2 of my other friends said they'd never do this as it's degrading, one sat on the fence a bit and this friend said she completely disagreed and that she couldn't see HOW it could be degrading.
My boyfriend has said to me he'd never ask me or let me do that, as it's degrading and he loves me, so he'd never let me, let alone ask me to. Yet, my friend (the one who thinks its OK), says thats how most people go down on their boyfriends/boys and that it was not degrading and that it was a weird opinion to hold, and a wrong opinion anyway.
Are we alone in thinking that its degrading? I'm not asking for details or anything explicit, but what are your opinions on this subject.
x
My boyfriend has said to me he'd never ask me or let me do that, as it's degrading and he loves me, so he'd never let me, let alone ask me to. Yet, my friend (the one who thinks its OK), says thats how most people go down on their boyfriends/boys and that it was not degrading and that it was a weird opinion to hold, and a wrong opinion anyway.
Are we alone in thinking that its degrading? I'm not asking for details or anything explicit, but what are your opinions on this subject.
x
Scroll to see replies
Aside from lying down, sitting down, standing on different levels, or having a very big height difference, how else can you do it? 
Or do you mean oral sex in general?
I wouldn't find it degrading. I would kneel down to do it and would have no shame if someone knelt down to do it to me.
Or do you mean oral sex in general?I wouldn't find it degrading. I would kneel down to do it and would have no shame if someone knelt down to do it to me.
the act is supposed to resemble sacrafice for pleasure, some people find it degrading, some people find it resembles a strong connection between two people. The act can be degrading for some people, and not so for others, so it depends on the people involved and their relationship, not the stance change. It just emphasises the symbolic nature of the act. That can make it more degrading or more connective, depending.
prettyblueeyes
Had a girly night on Friday with my 4 best friends, and, the conversation got round to sex/boyfriends etc, as it sometimes does. Anyway, we were talking about going down on our boyfriends, and one of my friends says she'd do it kneeling in front of her boyfriend because he likes it like that. (ie him standing up in front of her). I, and 2 of my other friends said they'd never do this as it's degrading, one sat on the fence a bit and this friend said she completely disagreed and that she couldn't see HOW it could be degrading.
My boyfriend has said to me he'd never ask me or let me do that, as it's degrading and he loves me, so he'd never let me, let alone ask me to. Yet, my friend (the one who thinks its OK), says thats how most people go down on their boyfriends/boys and that it was not degrading and that it was a weird opinion to hold, and a wrong opinion anyway.
Are we alone in thinking that its degrading? I'm not asking for details or anything explicit, but what are your opinions on this subject.
x
My boyfriend has said to me he'd never ask me or let me do that, as it's degrading and he loves me, so he'd never let me, let alone ask me to. Yet, my friend (the one who thinks its OK), says thats how most people go down on their boyfriends/boys and that it was not degrading and that it was a weird opinion to hold, and a wrong opinion anyway.
Are we alone in thinking that its degrading? I'm not asking for details or anything explicit, but what are your opinions on this subject.
x
I think its kinda degrading and personally wouldnt ask my girlfriend to do it. I do think however, most girls do it that way, and I guess most guys enjoy it. P
I find that a weird opinion to hold as well, to be honest. I'm comfortable enough with my boyfriend that I don't feel 'degraded' by going down on him, full stop.
Added to that...Do you find it degrading when guys go down on girls if the position is anything other than the girl lying on her back? I fail to see how this is any different.
Added to that...Do you find it degrading when guys go down on girls if the position is anything other than the girl lying on her back? I fail to see how this is any different.
It's not degrading, I think its hot.
Girls these days...
Girls these days...
I don't really see how it's any different from doing it laid down etc.
Personally I'd get tired being stood up...
Personally I'd get tired being stood up...
I don't think that missionary style sex etc is degrading, but I think a boy standing up and getting the girl to get on her knees to perform oral sex looks degrading. It can be done in other ways and this wasn't that her bf preferred it like it (surely its pretty much the same sensation wherever you are) but she thought, after her bf had told her, the girl should get on her knees for the boy (his words, "drop then"). They're in a loving r'ship, as am I, but I just think a girl getting on her knees to perform oral is degrading to her.
mangomaz
If they're in an equal respectful relationship, then I dont see how its degrading just because he prefers it that way. I think it would only be degrading if they werent already in a relationship.
It's not degrading, unless she was forced to do it. Loads of girls do it to guys they just met on a night out and enjoy it.
Girls these days...
Yeah. One guy was tippin beer onto people in one club I was in. He got literally kicked ALL the way round the club about twice. The police came and the whole thing got shut early.
We lost the taxi receipt (one mate had it in his sock and was too drunk to find it) so then we were stranded in Chorley...one of the worst nights out.
Anyway, if a girl wants to do it I see no reason to STOP her or to point out 'well you're hot and everything but I don't want to degrade you'...chicks dig it and I think any lad likes getting his di(k sucked.
Apart from me but...I'm a 'bad head victim'.
We lost the taxi receipt (one mate had it in his sock and was too drunk to find it) so then we were stranded in Chorley...one of the worst nights out.
Anyway, if a girl wants to do it I see no reason to STOP her or to point out 'well you're hot and everything but I don't want to degrade you'...chicks dig it and I think any lad likes getting his di(k sucked.
Apart from me but...I'm a 'bad head victim'.
It's only degrading if the guy has no respect for the girl. I think it can seem degrading because it's normally done like that in porn, the reason being so that the cameraman gets a better view. If a couple in a long term relationship have oral sex when they're both lying down in bed, it doesn't seem nearly as dirty as when a porn star gets on her knees and gives head to the guy like that. So I think for that reason, and because kneeling is universally considered to be a submissive position, it can be seen as degrading.
The most important sex organ is actually the brain, as human, especially men, are highly visual creatures and are very much affected by what we see. So a man will often be more turned on by oral sex if he can see exactly what the woman is doing. If it's a woman he respects, it's not degrading, just more of a turn on. It can also be a pretty big turn on for the woman. Part of the reason sex is such a turn on is because it's always been seen as a bit of a taboo, and a century ago a woman who actually enjoyed sex might be seen as a bit of a wh*re. Whether we like to admit it or not, the idea of good sex will always be a little bit dirty in our minds. For many women, the idea of something being just a little bit degrading might be a turn on, as long as it's just a play act. If she's doing something which might be seen as degrading with someone she knows loves and respects her, it can be really hot, whereas if it really was degrading, i.e. with some complete jerk, it wouldn't be enjoyable at all. Some women have rape fantasies. It doesn't mean they want to be raped in real life, they just want to pretend with someone they trust enough not to take it too far. It's the same kind of thing, only to a lesser degree.
And I agree with ro-ro; it's much more degrading to have beer poured on you, or your arse slapped in a club, or something like that.
The most important sex organ is actually the brain, as human, especially men, are highly visual creatures and are very much affected by what we see. So a man will often be more turned on by oral sex if he can see exactly what the woman is doing. If it's a woman he respects, it's not degrading, just more of a turn on. It can also be a pretty big turn on for the woman. Part of the reason sex is such a turn on is because it's always been seen as a bit of a taboo, and a century ago a woman who actually enjoyed sex might be seen as a bit of a wh*re. Whether we like to admit it or not, the idea of good sex will always be a little bit dirty in our minds. For many women, the idea of something being just a little bit degrading might be a turn on, as long as it's just a play act. If she's doing something which might be seen as degrading with someone she knows loves and respects her, it can be really hot, whereas if it really was degrading, i.e. with some complete jerk, it wouldn't be enjoyable at all. Some women have rape fantasies. It doesn't mean they want to be raped in real life, they just want to pretend with someone they trust enough not to take it too far. It's the same kind of thing, only to a lesser degree.
And I agree with ro-ro; it's much more degrading to have beer poured on you, or your arse slapped in a club, or something like that.
What's a 'bad head victim'?
Also what's a taxi receipt?
I was at a fancy dress college party with a really good dj playing dance music and fire blowers and a screen dancer and it was ace, then some prick poured beer off the top level. So my friend pushed him real heard and threw his beer into his face. That guy wasn't happy.
It's quite degrading when a guy does stuff then tells you he has a girlfriend.
Also what's a taxi receipt?
I was at a fancy dress college party with a really good dj playing dance music and fire blowers and a screen dancer and it was ace, then some prick poured beer off the top level. So my friend pushed him real heard and threw his beer into his face. That guy wasn't happy.
It's quite degrading when a guy does stuff then tells you he has a girlfriend.
It's more physically comfortable, I find, to do it while kneeling than while lying in bed, or what have you.
I think the stereotype is of some gullible woman doing whatever on her knees while this arrogant guy who knows damn well he could get any woman he wants is standing there, hands on hips, thinking "god I love me!".
Yeah, that's degrading. Oral sex while kneeling isn't.
Yeah, that's degrading. Oral sex while kneeling isn't.
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