The Third Wheel or The Protective Friend

I'm not the type of person who writes this kind of questions, but since I noticed the frequency of similar issues in this forum, I would be curious to hear your opinion on my situation... since it is one of the few things in my life that I actually stop and think about.

Short:
Is it possible that guys try to be friends with another guy, with the main intention of preventing their female friend from having a relationship with the other guy?

Detailed:
In a kind of summer programme group very far away from where I live (another country), a girl who was among the organizers of the team was explicit about wanting an affair with me.
This girl had a (male) friend and schoolmate with whom I had really many things in common, from interests to everything. And for once - to make a difference - I preferred nurturing this friendship rather than going for the random affair. I ignored her in a polite way whenever she tried to make advances, since I was quite interested in the guy as a person.

Months later, I invited some of that summer programme crowd over to my house to spend 4 days. She also came and this time I was a bit more open towards her, actually learning more about her interesting ambitions, etc. I thought I felt "on the same wavelength" but not sure enough whether she was just pretending in order to have a one-night-stand.
I didn't worry much about it, but I often noticed that the guy was doing some negative comments to her such as... "Why are you suddenly acting like an angel?"
And the tension exploded when he said "Come on, you're behaving like that just because he (me) is there! Normally you're just a loose party-pickup!"
And she was all angry and "what do you know about me?" and "take that back!" etc. The guy was ironic when he took it back.

I found the whole thing funny at the beginning.
But my neurons started working when I and the guy were alone in my room and I just randomly alluded to the fact that "she wants something from me". He vehemently said:"WHAT? She doesn't want anything from you"
That surprised me a bit...

That's why I started thinking: is it possible that all this time the guy was trying to create distance between me and her, out of either protective feelings or jealousy?

In any case, out of both personal and health reasons, I didn't want to give myself to a random horny slut, which was what I colloquially thought of her (or maybe the guy made me think?). Whenever we went to discotheques all the horny guys and players were like fixing their eyes on her, whistling and everything else. Which obviously makes me think that she's very probably just a .....

What surprises me is that she keeps writing postcards, christmas letters, etc. to me - which is a bit unfamiliar for a normal loose girl - and wants us to "meet again".
And - maybe this is only stereotype - it also doesn't SEEM normal that a loose girl/pseudoslut does humanitarian work that is published on newspapers, wins ad honorem titles and prizes, and gets the best results of the region in their final school exams.
Unless of course she used her seducing weapons with all professors and the rest of the world... and she's frustrated because I was the only one who didn't give in! ...but I thought that was science fiction...

To summarize my second question (only those who read the detailed version can answer it): is she just a random horny slut or is my perspective totally biased?

:confused:

Thank you for reading my story, I hope you enjoyed it.

Reply 1

Mellanie

I wouldn't think so, but I'm not a guy so I wouldn't know. If they went and became friends with another guy who they thought of as a threat to them, wouldn't it mean getting closer to them as friends etc which would automatically mean that the boys girlfriend is also getting closer to this other guy than say she would have been before. I just think that it would bring the girls attention to the boy rather than deter her from him?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Maybe... but more as a "just Friend" than as a relationship candidate. Or not?

Reply 3

tanusha-tomsk

First of all, well done for putting it so nicely for us, a pleasue to read. Simple, clear, and all punctuation is there :biggrin:

I'm a girl but I think that it's possible that you should look at the situation differently. If you know she is a slut and this guy becomes your friend and warns you off her, you can assume he is the "Protective Friend". Not other way round though - if you know that he is your "Protective Friend" because of her, you cannot assume that she is a slut.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but even a slut can fall in love and should have a chance to develop these feelings. And she might not even be a slut (although the chances are small). I think you should meet her again but do not in any case sleep with her, and make it clear (with your behaviour, not words obviously) that it's not gonna happen anytime soon.

As for your friend, make sure he knows that you and that girl keep things casual and you are in no real danger. You sound like someone with a good sixth sense and I'm sure you'll be able to tell if the "angel" is a mask for a "devil". Good luck!