Stalker, am I overreacting? Watch

Bubblebee
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I have been at my job in the co-op for five weeks now and I only work sat and sun. There is this old man who comes in all the time, like at least five times per day, on the days I work and he is really creeping me out...

It started out with him just maintaining eye contact for too long, then he would touch my hands when I gave him change, and now he talks to me and asks me personal questions I try to laugh it of but it's really getting to me.

Apparently he used to do this to one of the other girls Charlie before she left, he waited till she had finished then followed her a bit, when she confronted him he punched her in the stomach. She was 7 months pregnant.

Yesterday I was doing some stock checks and it was quite empty in there and he came up behind me and touched my back and my arse, I turned round and asked if I could help him he just stared at me, luckily a boy who lives down my road came over and started talking to me.

I told the manager but she didn't take me seriously and took the piss, saying stuff along the lines of 'You can't ban someone for looking at you' and stuff like that, but the other guys I work with have been keeping an eye out and whenever he is in the shop come and stand with me.

He was waiting for me outside when I finished at 6 today and told me (and I quote, "Lisa, Lisa, Did I ever tell you you are my favourite girl...And you always will be..." I said thanks and walked away but I knew he was watching me, so I just legged it home.

I know that was the wrong thing to do cause now I look vunerable and scared but I didn't want him to see where I lived. I'm a bit worried now and not sure what I should do... I can't just leave my job like Charlie did but if he waits for me when I finish at 11 on sat nights then he could rape me or something. Should I call the police, or will they take the piss like my boss did? Oh and if I tell my mum or dad they will make me quit.

Any advice appreciated (sorry for the looong post!)
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generalebriety
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Tell your boss again. She will take you seriously if you tell her exactly what you just told us. What he's doing is nothing short of perverted and nasty. Alternatively, next time you see him outside work, tell him to **** off and leave you alone or you're calling the police. Security cameras and so on (even if you don't have them, say they're hidden ones ). He'll back off.
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sweetface.
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What a werid freak! You should call the police he sexualy harassed you.
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Mellanie
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Tell the police! That should show your boss if your serious or not dammit! In the meantime, if he touches your ass again, slap the *******!

NO you are NOT overreacting!
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Bubblebee
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Hmmm, What do I tell the police though? He hasn't really DONE anything.
I was thinking about security cameras, they could show how often he comes in and how he stares at me but I don't think you'd be able to see him touch my arse cause it was quick, like he was just tapping me to get my attention!
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[email protected]
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Next time he attempts something, make sure it's infront of CCTV and note the time and date and then you can tell the police (if you chose to contact them) exactly when and where and that'll help them, rather than wading through hours of CCTV. The easiest way is to walk to infront of a camera, he wil more than likely follow you. Keep a diary too, of exactly what happens and how long etc etc, in and out of work.

I hope you get it sorted soon :hugs:
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[email protected]
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(Original post by Bubblebee)
Hmmm, What do I tell the police though? He hasn't really DONE anything.
I was thinking about security cameras, they could show how often he comes in and how he stares at me but I don't think you'd be able to see him touch my arse cause it was quick, like he was just tapping me to get my attention!
He has, talking to you and what he is saying is wrong.

And you do NOT tap someone on the bottom to get their attention (well maYbe close friends or bfs/gfs).

As I said above, see if you can work out which camera faces which way and you can plan it carefuly so that CCTV catches everything.
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guccilittlepiggy
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first of all you are NOT over reacting. Does you're boss know what happened to Charlie? if so then shes being very irresponsible. to me this man sounds dangerous and i dont mean to sound harsh but it would become worst if anything did happen to you coming out of work late at night. perhaps until you decide what to do you could get a freind or someone to walk you home.

You need to keep a diary of each incident and be as specific as you can ie include dates etc. Was the punching incident a roumur or do you know it happened, because if you have proof perhaps from charlie (like a police report) then the police are likely to take it very seriously.
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Juicy Fruit
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(Original post by Bubblebee)
Hmmm, What do I tell the police though? He hasn't really DONE anything.
I was thinking about security cameras, they could show how often he comes in and how he stares at me but I don't think you'd be able to see him touch my arse cause it was quick, like he was just tapping me to get my attention!
No he has done something. He's physically assaulted you by touching your back and ass. Even the slightest touching is a criminal offence, known as battery, under section 39 of the Criminal Justice Act 1981. You should call the police and report him. Better to be safe now than sorry later. Try to get as many witnesses as possible, and go back to your boss and force her to take you seriously. Good luck.
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Ghost
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Definately tell the police EXACTLY what you have told us. Dont wait for something to happen - because you dont know how severe that next something will be.
He is a dirty old pervert, and the police will see him as exactly that.
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Bubblebee
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Hmmm, thanks guys you have really given me something to think about... She told me herself about getting punched cause she was warning me about him. I have a rape alarm that I'm gonna start carrying and I think I'm gonna start getting a lift home instead of walking.
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El Scotto
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(Original post by Bubblebee)
I have been at my job in the co-op for five weeks now and I only work sat and sun. There is this old man who comes in all the time, like at least five times per day, on the days I work and he is really creeping me out...

It started out with him just maintaining eye contact for too long, then he would touch my hands when I gave him change, and now he talks to me and asks me personal questions I try to laugh it of but it's really getting to me.

Apparently he used to do this to one of the other girls Charlie before she left, he waited till she had finished then followed her a bit, when she confronted him he punched her in the stomach. She was 7 months pregnant.

Yesterday I was doing some stock checks and it was quite empty in there and he came up behind me and touched my back and my arse, I turned round and asked if I could help him he just stared at me, luckily a boy who lives down my road came over and started talking to me.

I told the manager but she didn't take me seriously and took the piss, saying stuff along the lines of 'You can't ban someone for looking at you' and stuff like that, but the other guys I work with have been keeping an eye out and whenever he is in the shop come and stand with me.

He was waiting for me outside when I finished at 6 today and told me (and I quote, "Lisa, Lisa, Did I ever tell you you are my favourite girl...And you always will be..." I said thanks and walked away but I knew he was watching me, so I just legged it home.

I know that was the wrong thing to do cause now I look vunerable and scared but I didn't want him to see where I lived. I'm a bit worried now and not sure what I should do... I can't just leave my job like Charlie did but if he waits for me when I finish at 11 on sat nights then he could rape me or something. Should I call the police, or will they take the piss like my boss did? Oh and if I tell my mum or dad they will make me quit.

Any advice appreciated (sorry for the looong post!)


You dont get paid enough to take abuse from some dodgy old man coming into the shop, your manager doesnt care... so personally what I'd do... (as its only the coop, AND as its a big national company) goto the solicitors and get an hours free.. tell them that you feel sexaully harrassed in your work place, give them the examples of what this old man has done to you and tell them the reactions of your boss.... then sue them for sexual harrassment and the company failing to do anything about it. The guy should be banned from the shop, for the last issue alone.

You'd get a big phat payout as well... so that'd be nice in your bankaccount, especially tell them about all the heartache you feel and how nervous he makes you and how upset you were the boss didnt do anything or wouldnt take you seriously and how you've had trouble sleeping and you'll get topwhack.

^^^^ as its only a the co-op, I really think you should go for it.
If not that, Contact the area supervisor, or someone above your managers head. Dont forget that they're only on about 60-80p more an hour than you are... so are probably monkies anyway.
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Laika
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I think this happens a fair bit in shops, or at least I've heard stories from friend's who've had similar experiences.

I don't think it's possible to overreact to such a situation though, he's obviously mental, a lonely weirdo or a combination of both.
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Alaric
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(Original post by Bubblebee)
will they take the piss like my boss did?
It is very definitely not alright to be harassed whilst working, it is as serious for the company as harassment between staff members. If your boss does not listen or worse, mocks you, then the least you should do is escalate above your direct boss. It seems to me that the previous incidents were unreported or not taken seriously, and even if nothing further happens to you the shop is not providing a safe working environment and who knows what could happen to future employees.

A.
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caw123
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Sounds bloody terrifying. I'd definitely tell as many people as possible, if the guy has punched a pregnant woman in the stomach then he's a dangerous lunatic, do the police know about that incident?
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Spikerocker
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Tell your boss and parents again and when he comes in try getting someone else to serve him. Invest in one of those pepper sprays/fog horn
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Crazster
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talk to your boss again and tell her/him to take it seriously and say you feel its serious enough to consult the police/ a lawyer so she should. that'll do it =). though i'd get a couple of lads you know to wait 1 time if he's waiting for you after the shift and threaten the **** outta him =).

Mention the incident with your pregnent friend (Is her baby okay ? ). I would really take this to the police with your friend, even before going to the manager, and going only after, getting the restraining order hten making it followed
:/.
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rosetinted
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You definitely are not overreacting. I had a similar thing happen to a friend of mine when I worked at Tesco during my a levels. She reported it to her manager and they immediately recorded the complaint and told store security to keep an eye on her until something further could be done. The following day they reported it to the police and banned the man from the store. Your employer has a responsibility to provide you with a safe workplace and if they fail to do that then they could be in some serious s**t.

Your manager is being irresponsible and ignorant by failing to take your complaint seriously. You need to go and speak to whoever is her supervisor and continue to report it higher up the management chain until you are taken seriously. You also need to report it to the police as soon as possible and document all incidents which occur from now on.

In the mean time you should always have someone walk with you to and from work or start getting a lift. Be sure there is someone around to collect you after your late shifts. Carrying a whistle or alarm is not an adequate form of protection. Whistles rely on the often false belief that someone will come and rescue you. Why fumble around for a whistle when you could be doing more constructive things such as running away, kicking, striking effective blows or reaching for a weapon. There is never a bad time to learn to defend yourself. I'd recommend taking a self defense course designed specifically for women. An effective 20 to 25 hour course can teach you how to defend yourself, and leave your attacker unconcious.

Carrying pepper spray isn't an option because it's classed as an offensive weapon in the UK now. However I carry a kubotan (essentially a 5 inch long metal stick with my keys attached to it) for self defense. You can learn the basics of how to use one in under an hour and it can be used for jabbing fleshy areas or smacking boney ones.
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SaraA
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[QUOTE=Bubblebee]Hmmm, What do I tell the police though? He hasn't really DONE anything.
QUOTE]

He HAS done something though - touching your backside no matter how quickly still constitutes a sexual assault. He made you feel uncomfortable as do his advances. Keep note of what he does and when he does it in a diary so you've got evidence of what he's been up to and when you feel enough is enough go to the police. The stalking is part of a public order offence - in simple terms he's causing you harrassment, alram or distress. Report him. He's no right to make you feel uncomfortable
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hanadeka2002
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^Oh.my.god.I have like,a similar problem and I work at the Co-op too.Scary!
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