i thought i had overcome my problem... Watch

the bear
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#1
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#1
there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
??????????????????????????

line 5 eludes me... can you help ?
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tehforum
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#2
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#2
what's the structure?
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the bear
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#3
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#3
(Original post by tehforum)
what's the structure?
we are looking for 8 syllables to rhyme with Crete and feet...
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tehforum
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#4
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#4
(Original post by the bear)
we are looking for 8 syllables to rhyme with Crete and feet...
she replied they make her complete
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the bear
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#5
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#5
(Original post by tehforum)
she replied they make her complete
this is good !!

actually it would sound better as

"she replied that they made her complete"

:congrats:
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Piko_Piko
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#6
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#6
The rhythm's all off.
Give it up - it's a lost cause.
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Jam'
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#7
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#7
She said she couldn't afford veet (hair removal cream)

Or

She simply ran out of all her veet

Or

She told of the steep price of veet
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the bear
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Jam')
She said she couldn't afford veet (hair removal cream)
yes that has legs...

:adore:
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the bear
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#9
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#9
there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
she said it was just a conceit
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Piko_Piko
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#10
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#10
(Original post by the bear)
yes that has legs...

:adore:
Read out loud, the emphasis would be on the "n't".

It sounds godawful.
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the butter
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#11
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#11
there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
said yes, and her life was now complete
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the bear
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Piko_Piko)
Read out loud, the emphasis would be on the "n't".

It sounds godawful.
it does need some work, but the idea of using postage stamps to remove foot hair is excellent.

maybe

there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
she said it was instead of veet
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the butter
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#13
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#13
there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
said someone had spiked her cake and tea
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the butter
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#14
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#14
there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
said yes, and it is a jolly treat
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the butter
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#15
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#15
(Original post by the bear)
it does need some work, but the idea of using postage stamps to remove foot hair is excellent.

maybe

there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
she said it was instead of veet
Or better still:
there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
said (in the dark of her bedroom) she'd mistaken it for veet
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the bear
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#16
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#16
(Original post by the butter)
Or better still:
there was a young lady from Crete
who stuck postage stamps on her feet;
when asked by her friend
if she'd gone round the bend
said (in the dark of her bedroom) she'd mistaken it for veet
the previous one was better methinks
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the butter
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#17
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#17
(Original post by the bear)
the previous one was better methinks
Yus yus, by all means it rhymed well and went smoothly, but she'd still have gone around the bend if she used stamps in lieu of Veet. She must have picked it up by mistake if she is to be sane, don't you think?
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the bear
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#18
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#18
(Original post by the butter)
Yus yus, by all means it rhymed well and went smoothly, but she'd still have gone around the bend if she used stamps in lieu of Veet. She must have picked it up by mistake if she is to be sane, don't you think?
maybe she was allergic to veet ?
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the butter
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#19
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#19
(Original post by the bear)
maybe she was allergic to veet ?
Shore, shore.
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FAN13
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#20
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#20
She'd been shipped to worlds end.
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