Should I meet up with him or not?

Well, I have known this guy through the internet for about three months. We have been chatting on msn everyday for the whole time I've known him. His name is marcus. He is a year older than me, and we have even exchanged photographs. He sometimes says that we should meet up. The problem is that I have fallen for him and I don't know if he feels the same way too. He always asks me questions like what sort of guy i would go for and what i look for in a guy etc. and he keeps saying how i am a nice person. I'm I recieving the wrong signals?

I really want to meet up with him, but there is a little problem, I have lied about a few things, ie, i told him i weighed 9 and half stone, when I really weigh 12 stone. I know its probably a stupid thing to do, but i don't know why i did it. Also I have never had a boyfriend b4, but i told him i have had one before, which adds to the embarrassment. Shall I come clean and tell the truth or shall i just say i don't want to meet up?

Any advice would be appreciated,
Thanks in advance.

Reply 1

Mellanie

1

You shoudn't really base your decision upon the views of strangers, mainly kids and young adults in an internet chatroom. If we said yeh, go for it and meet up with him would you really actually listen to us?

Anyway this guy might really be an old paedo so if you do meet up with him make sure its in a cafe or somewhre thats quite busy and crowdded etc and preferably in an area you know well. Also make sure you tell your friends where you are going to be and stuff, and make sure you have 999 pre-dialled on your mobile phone so all you need to do in case of emergency is press one button to dial it! Haha!

Just make sure that you don't go anywhere secluded on your first date like.

And about you lying about your weight, as long as you don't really look really fat or anything than he shoudlnt really be able to tell the difference betwen 9 stone and 12 stone I would have thought. You say that you have sent him your photo - so he knows what you look like, and he also knows your "fake" weight, and he hasn't said anything about it yet so it should be all OK right?

EDIT: Otherwise yea, go for it! There are many successful long-term relationships where both partners met up on the internet so you never know, this might be the start of a good one for you :wink:

Reply 2

pink_lucie

14

sorry but no, ive know a guy for 3 years and i still dont want to meet him. people change over time so i would say leave it for now, dont even think about meeting with him untill you are 100% sure and that takes time. :smile:

Reply 3

Sazarina88

11

I met my current boyfriend of 2 years on the Internet after knowing him for a couple of months.

As someone has said, if you do decide to meet him then make sure you tell people where you are going and what time you expect to be home etc.

I don't think you could ever be 100% sure whether you want to meet him, there will always be something in you that doubts whether it is the right thing to do.

Why not talk to him a bit more about meeting up first? See what your parents say and go from there.

Good luck
Sarah x

Reply 4

Eternity Forever

12

Anonymous

Well, I have known this guy through the internet for about three months. We have been chatting on msn everyday for the whole time I've known him. His name is marcus. He is a year older than me, and we have even exchanged photographs. He sometimes says that we should meet up. The problem is that I have fallen for him and I don't know if he feels the same way too. He always asks me questions like what sort of guy i would go for and what i look for in a guy etc. and he keeps saying how i am a nice person. I'm I recieving the wrong signals?

I really want to meet up with him, but there is a little problem, I have lied about a few things, ie, i told him i weighed 9 and half stone, when I really weigh 12 stone. I know its probably a stupid thing to do, but i don't know why i did it. Also I have never had a boyfriend b4, but i told him i have had one before, which adds to the embarrassment. Shall I come clean and tell the truth or shall i just say i don't want to meet up?

Any advice would be appreciated,
Thanks in advance.

Hmm, how can u fall for someone who you have never met? But you shouldnt worry about the weight thing as it is something that can be lost if it bothers you that much. Wait until you are VERY SURE that you want to meet up with him. And don't worry about the whole boyfriend thing, I know a lot of people who have never had boyfriends. Like others have said, if your gonna meet him, then make sure its a public place.
Good luck with it.

Reply 5

Aspect

2

Think of it this way.. you've 'fallen' for the guy he has portrayed himself as.. but just as you've told a few lies he has probably done the same..

Reply 6

haroonyousaf

make him get a webcam first. i think if he really likes you he would be willing to pay about 20 pounds for a cheap webcam. i wouldnt worry too much about the weight and stuff, i think if you like someone over the internet its not really going to be based on appearance. ive never met anyone over the internet although ive been asked many times. but to be honest i just think you dont learn enough about the person just through msn.

Reply 7

username47781

20

Well i'd be careful if you meet up with him, and i would be honest about yourself, but you gotta watch you don't really know what his personaility is like.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for all your advice people, anyone else wanna say anything?

Reply 9

pumpkin7

13

i'm not sure how you can fall in love without meeting someone.. but maybe that is just me.

to be honest, i wouldn't do it. like i have said in most of the other threads along the same lines as this, it's never a good idea to meet up with someone you have met over the internet. they may not be who they say they are.. those photos - they could have easily have found them from one of the many profile sites out there.. if you have seen each other on webcam, then i guess that is fair enough.
also, if you are really desperate to meet up with this guy, make sure it is in public, and make sure you have told a friend or someone you are close to where you are going.. i mean, take someone with you if you can, simply because this guy may not be who you think he is.
just be careful.

Reply 10

shady lane

16

I think it's fine if you meet him in a public place like a restaurant and don't go home with him. There's no reason to think a guy you meet at a bar is any less likely to be a lunatic than a guy you meet on the internet.

Reply 11

Bismarck

13

*Priya*

And about you lying about your weight, as long as you don't really look really fat or anything than he shoudlnt really be able to tell the difference betwen 9 stone and 12 stone I would have thought. You say that you have sent him your photo - so he knows what you look like, and he also knows your "fake" weight, and he hasn't said anything about it yet so it should be all OK right?

EDIT: Otherwise yea, go for it! There are many successful long-term relationships where both partners met up on the internet so you never know, this might be the start of a good one for you :wink:

Er, there's quite a bit of difference between someone weighing 134 lbs. and 168 lbs. It's a difference between being roughly normal weight and quite a bit overweight. The guy might ignore this lie, especially if he's seen photos of her, but I wouldn't bet on it. If I were the thread starter, I'd either own up before meeting or try losing at least a stone and half.

Reply 12

sweetface.

It's not a good idea, he could turn out a total to be werido!

Reply 13

Singh_87

15

I dont understand why sometimes people say that he might lie over the internet and not actually be who he says he is. Does this mean that everyone who meets someone in say a club/bar always tells the truth? I doubt it very much. I met someone over the internet which turned out to be the best relationship I had. Im not saying this will happen to you, but there's no real reason why this guy would be any less of an idiot you might meet in a club.
About the trust issue, a webcam would be perhaps a good idea. Also, maybe when you go to meet him take a friend with you, and meet during day time in a public place. I sound like such a 'dad!' ... :p:

But good luck :smile:

Reply 14

arkbar

12

It's a difference between being roughly normal weight and quite a bit overweight.

Assuming she's a certain height of course.

Reply 15

*Fliss*

Obviously, if you do it, be very very cautious. May I ask how old you both are?

It is a very real problem with people portraying themselves as something else on the internet, but here i'm talking about a 40 year old passing himself off as a 17 year old rather than a couple white lies. Clearly, be careful and make sure you're 100% sure you're ready to meet this guy. Meeting people you've spoken to on the internet isn't quite the big deal its made out to be. I figure if normal people like me and my friends use the internet, plenty of other 'normal' people do the same, not everyone who uses the internet is a psycho. Saying this, you do need to be absolutely careful. If you meet, do it in a very public place, maybe take a friend along the first time, or at least have them waiting around somewhere so they can see whether this person is roughly who they say they are. Obviously, you can never quite tell, but its better to at least have someone there.

Having had a good experience of meeting up with people i've spoken to on the internet, i'd encourage it. But only if you're sure, or as sure as you possibly can be. You can gain very real friendships and even relationships with people you began talking to on the internet. Its all about luck and being careful.

I'll stop rambling now. Just be careful whatever you decide to do. Good luck :smile:

Reply 16

Bis

1

Bismarck

Er, there's quite a bit of difference between someone weighing 134 lbs. and 168 lbs. It's a difference between being roughly normal weight and quite a bit overweight. The guy might ignore this lie, especially if he's seen photos of her, but I wouldn't bet on it. If I were the thread starter, I'd either own up before meeting or try losing at least a stone and half.

Just what I was about to say, but owning up would be a far better option.

Reply 17

username47781

20

Singh_87

I dont understand why sometimes people say that he might lie over the internet and not actually be who he says he is. Does this mean that everyone who meets someone in say a club/bar always tells the truth? I doubt it very much. I met someone over the internet which turned out to be the best relationship I had. Im not saying this will happen to you, but there's no real reason why this guy would be any less of an idiot you might meet in a club.
About the trust issue, a webcam would be perhaps a good idea. Also, maybe when you go to meet him take a friend with you, and meet during day time in a public place. I sound like such a 'dad!' ... :p: