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Girlfriend doesn't like it that I have female friends

My best friends are a group of girls who I have known for a few years they're very supportive and hang out doing normal things.

I recently started dating a girl that I met through university, we have similar interests so it is easy to get a long with her. She asked me to stop hanging around with my friends that she should be the only woman I should care about, I explained to her that they're just my friends and that I don't look at in a sexual way but she isn't having any of it.

What do you think I should do? I think she is being selfish but I'm not going ditch my friends because of her but everything else about her is fine.

Reply 1

HaQ_mAn_

14

Don't ditch your friends. dnt let your girlfriend control your life. she should trust you.

Reply 2

Brasso_95

As much as it pains to me say this, I was exactly like your girlfriend. I hated my boyfriend talking/hanging out or even looking at other girls. I was jealous, 99% of girls are insecure about themselves, and the other 1% of girls are lying. I didn't believe that he'd cheat on me with these girls, but I was paranoid that maybe he'd think they were better looking than me or they had better qualities than me. It sucks, but there's that much crap going on in the world with guys and girls cheating on their partners that it's hard to get that idea of your head. It's not her fault really, if you think about it. Many many people cheat on their partners, so it's very possible that she's scared you'll do the same. & it doesn't matter how many times you tell each other that it isn't going to happen, she'll still think it at the back of her mind. She can trust you 100% but she'll still get paranoid & doubt you, it's just the way life is. Not only that, she's a girl herself so she knows how other women think. She's going a bit OTT with it, but you have to understand that it's this generation. Not her. Maybe ask her to meet your friends? & then arrange for them all to meet without you around. So she can get to know your friends better, see what they're like without you around.

I did this, and honestly I'm so much better off. I thought this one girl (his old best friend) was gorgeous, x100 better than me, she was learning to drive, she was popular, she went out loads, ect but then after spending some time with her, I realized she wasn't that pretty at all, in actual fact she looked about 14! She was very immature, and had no feelings towards my boyfriend whatsoever. If she starts slagging them off to you, don't take it too seriously. This will just be her way of making herself feel better. Girls for ya, complicated.

Reply 3

Knighted

10

Had a girlfriend like this before, its pretty standard mate.

Your girlfriend is obviously insecure and paranoid about you even finding other girls attractive. I don't lie to my girlfriends, ever. I got asked if when I masturbate do I always think about her. I told her no and such. Didn't end well that conversation but yeah I don't lie.

Its weird because my friend Beth introduced me to her (friend of beths) and thats how we got together. After a couple months of being my girlfriend on a girls night out she cornered Beth and said "I wish you and <my name> didn't know each other" and that "If you think you can steal him, you're wrong" when mine and beths relationship is purely friendship and is obviously so.

Reply 4

Capn cas

11

I have a few female best friends, a girl coming along will have to accept that.

Reply 5

Jack22031994

Volunteer Team

21

My best friend is a girl and any girlfriend will have to deal with it

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

sr90

Volunteer Team

19

Friends take priority. No exceptions.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Brasso_95

As much as it pains to me say this, I was exactly like your girlfriend. I hated my boyfriend talking/hanging out or even looking at other girls. I was jealous, 99% of girls are insecure about themselves, and the other 1% of girls are lying. I didn't believe that he'd cheat on me with these girls, but I was paranoid that maybe he'd think they were better looking than me or they had better qualities than me. It sucks, but there's that much crap going on in the world with guys and girls cheating on their partners that it's hard to get that idea of your head. It's not her fault really, if you think about it. Many many people cheat on their partners, so it's very possible that she's scared you'll do the same. & it doesn't matter how many times you tell each other that it isn't going to happen, she'll still think it at the back of her mind. She can trust you 100% but she'll still get paranoid & doubt you, it's just the way life is. Not only that, she's a girl herself so she knows how other women think. She's going a bit OTT with it, but you have to understand that it's this generation. Not her. Maybe ask her to meet your friends? & then arrange for them all to meet without you around. So she can get to know your friends better, see what they're like without you around.

I did this, and honestly I'm so much better off. I thought this one girl (his old best friend) was gorgeous, x100 better than me, she was learning to drive, she was popular, she went out loads, ect but then after spending some time with her, I realized she wasn't that pretty at all, in actual fact she looked about 14! She was very immature, and had no feelings towards my boyfriend whatsoever. If she starts slagging them off to you, don't take it too seriously. This will just be her way of making herself feel better. Girls for ya, complicated.

I understand if she is insecure but they never did anything wrong to her and are keen to meet her but she has no interest and unfairly judges them just because they're female yet she okay for me to meet her friends.

She has no male friends but it doesn't bother me if she speaks to other men because I know she isn't attracted to any other man.

Reply 8

nicatre

13

A GF/BF should never be able to control things like your social life etc

Entering a relationship doesn't make you two into a single unit but two people with over-lapping lives; it should be mutually beneficial and constructive.

Reply 9

pheonixfeather

2

Your girlfriend cant control who your friends are, are neither she should try. And you shouldn't ditch you friends under absolutely any circumstances

Reply 10

BlueSheep32

11

It's natural for her to be a bit insecure about it, but stopping you from seeing them is excessive and you shouldn't let her. Would you have a problem with her having male friends? I'd guess the answer is no as long you know she wouldn't cheat on you with them, so I agree with you that she's being selfish. Trust is an important part of a relationship and if it's not there you're going to have problems.

Meeting your friends might give her some reassurance, and you should tell her that if you wanted to be with one of them you wouldn't be with her. But whatever happens don't let her stop you from seeing your friends - I think her saying that she should be the only woman you care about is ridiculous! These other girls aren't just 'other women', they're your friends, and they're obviously important to you. As you're nothing more than friends with them then I don't understand why she can't just think of them in the same way that she'd think of you having friends of any gender. As long as your girlfriend is the only woman you care about romantically then it shouldn't matter at all that your best friends are female.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Brasso_95

As much as it pains to me say this, I was exactly like your girlfriend. I hated my boyfriend talking/hanging out or even looking at other girls. I was jealous, 99% of girls are insecure about themselves, and the other 1% of girls are lying. I didn't believe that he'd cheat on me with these girls, but I was paranoid that maybe he'd think they were better looking than me or they had better qualities than me. It sucks, but there's that much crap going on in the world with guys and girls cheating on their partners that it's hard to get that idea of your head. It's not her fault really, if you think about it. Many many people cheat on their partners, so it's very possible that she's scared you'll do the same. & it doesn't matter how many times you tell each other that it isn't going to happen, she'll still think it at the back of her mind. She can trust you 100% but she'll still get paranoid & doubt you, it's just the way life is. Not only that, she's a girl herself so she knows how other women think. She's going a bit OTT with it, but you have to understand that it's this generation. Not her. Maybe ask her to meet your friends? & then arrange for them all to meet without you around. So she can get to know your friends better, see what they're like without you around.

I did this, and honestly I'm so much better off. I thought this one girl (his old best friend) was gorgeous, x100 better than me, she was learning to drive, she was popular, she went out loads, ect but then after spending some time with her, I realized she wasn't that pretty at all, in actual fact she looked about 14! She was very immature, and had no feelings towards my boyfriend whatsoever. If she starts ****ging them off to you, don't take it too seriously. This will just be her way of making herself feel better. Girls for ya, complicated.

If you can only be secure around women you think are worse than you, then you are not emotionally developed enough to be in a relationship.
It is not your partners job to subsidize your criminal lack of personal development to the extent that they must destroy their support base to accommodate you.
people are the way they are because of their friends and family and experience. You can’t like them and then the first thing you do when you get in their life is ruin what got them there.

Girlfriend doesn't like it that I have female friends

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