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Sex Too Painful
About a month ago, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. We were both virgins and I experienced quite a lot of pain and some bleeding. I let it heal and we tried to do it again recently, but he couldn't enter me because it hurt too much. What's going on? This is really frustrating and worrying me.
Are you using lubricant? If so maybe you're just not really designed to fit, as it were. I think generally people can adapt slightly over time - but if it continues to hurt (certainly to bleed), because your boyfriend's penis is much too big or your vagina is much too small or both, then just leave it. However, with practice, it should feel fine.
Anonymous
We were both virgins and I experienced quite a lot of pain and some bleeding.? This is really frustrating and worrying me.
problems there ^
from what i hear it may hurt for several times and so theres not alot you can do, you should be relaxed as nerves and worry can cause muscles to contract etc. spend more time on foreplay to make sure you are espicialy "relaxed" and also try different posistions as this may help.
having said all that what do i know, im just a boy
*deep breath*
its entirely normal to experience pain during your first few times, particularly the very first; chances are you'll be nervous, tense and therefore experience pain as your boyfriend enters you, simply because your muscles will be too tense to make it any other way. This is in no way a criticism, its a natural thing that happens to alot more people than it doesnt. Take your time, make the most of foreplay and try to get as turned on as you can before attempting actual intercourse; lube can help in these circumstances as well.
As far as bleeding goes, this is also entirely normal (forgive me if you know this and just glossed over it) but there is a thin layer of skin over the opening to the vagina called the hymen; in some people this breaks through exercise or tampon use and is therefore no problem during sex, in others it isnt fully broken until penetrative sex- this can obviously hurt and can cause bleeding.
I hope i've been able to put your mind at rest, even a little, as worrying about sex is only going to make it harder for you. Basically, everything you've experienced is normal.....the only way to go is up and the only way to do that is practice.
with regard to generalbriety; i suppose there is always a chance that for you things will always be a little difficult, but with the right preparation there's no reason things shouldnt work out; people manage in these situations, and juding by the OP's situation i doubt this is the case for her anyway
I'd say PM me
but these things are personal and people dont always want to talk about them.....if you do then PM ahead
its entirely normal to experience pain during your first few times, particularly the very first; chances are you'll be nervous, tense and therefore experience pain as your boyfriend enters you, simply because your muscles will be too tense to make it any other way. This is in no way a criticism, its a natural thing that happens to alot more people than it doesnt. Take your time, make the most of foreplay and try to get as turned on as you can before attempting actual intercourse; lube can help in these circumstances as well.
As far as bleeding goes, this is also entirely normal (forgive me if you know this and just glossed over it) but there is a thin layer of skin over the opening to the vagina called the hymen; in some people this breaks through exercise or tampon use and is therefore no problem during sex, in others it isnt fully broken until penetrative sex- this can obviously hurt and can cause bleeding.
I hope i've been able to put your mind at rest, even a little, as worrying about sex is only going to make it harder for you. Basically, everything you've experienced is normal.....the only way to go is up and the only way to do that is practice.
with regard to generalbriety; i suppose there is always a chance that for you things will always be a little difficult, but with the right preparation there's no reason things shouldnt work out; people manage in these situations, and juding by the OP's situation i doubt this is the case for her anyway
I'd say PM me
but these things are personal and people dont always want to talk about them.....if you do then PM ahead
generalebriety
Are you using lubricant? If so maybe you're just not really designed to fit, as it were. I think generally people can adapt slightly over time - but if it continues to hurt (certainly to bleed), because your boyfriend's penis is much too big or your vagina is much too small or both, then just leave it. However, with practice, it should feel fine.
I'm sorry but I disagree. A woman's vagina is designed to take any shape or size penis and deliver a baby. Clouddweller has got it right - good advice.
Angel83
I'm sorry but I disagree. A woman's vagina is designed to take any shape or size penis and deliver a baby. Clouddweller has got it right - good advice.
It definitely can't take ANY size penis. Yes, widthwise, it can stretch a fair bit. But there's only so far it can go lengthwise...
Umm different suggestion, but i experienced pain and bleeding, long after virginity became an explanation, and my Doc said i was allergoic to summin in the condoms, so if it persists you should see you doc in case you have the same problem.
History_is...
Umm different suggestion, but i experienced pain and bleeding, long after virginity became an explanation, and my Doc said i was allergoic to summin in the condoms, so if it persists you should see you doc in case you have the same problem.
something that i must say didnt occur to me; would definitely be worth checking out if things remained painful.....
more adventurous
It definitely can't take ANY size penis. Yes, widthwise, it can stretch a fair bit. But there's only so far it can go lengthwise...
I think you'll find they can http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/penissize.htm states: the vagina is so cunningly designed that it will accommodate itself to any length of penis.
Again, give it a while before you start to worry and make sure that you're nice and lubbed up. If it continues then another possible explanation is...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
more adventurous
It definitely can't take ANY size penis. Yes, widthwise, it can stretch a fair bit. But there's only so far it can go lengthwise...
i know someone that can't have full penatrive sex with her boyfriend because he is too "big"
as for the whole thing, you could maybe practice with six toys to get used to it? You could maybe even use your "homemade" things. Some girls I know first practiced with "lipstick" (with the covers on) to start with just to get used to it.
also, use plenty of lube and spend longer on foreplay.
about this 'any length penis' thing.. technically it's right, only you get guys with really thick penises that are almost impossible for many women to 'take'.
but, to the OP: it's completely natural and nothing to be afraid of. if pain continues throughout your whole sex life, then i'd advise seeing a doctor, but as it's just the first two times, it's normal.
lube is great, so is foreplay. and get to know your own body well, too, use your own fingers and maybe sex toys to 'acclimatise' your vagina, so to speak.
have fun and don't forget the condom
but, to the OP: it's completely natural and nothing to be afraid of. if pain continues throughout your whole sex life, then i'd advise seeing a doctor, but as it's just the first two times, it's normal.
lube is great, so is foreplay. and get to know your own body well, too, use your own fingers and maybe sex toys to 'acclimatise' your vagina, so to speak.
have fun and don't forget the condom
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