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Waiting for tutor to do reference. She's ignoring my texts and emails :(

Hey everyone,

My tutor (I study from home due to gap year) said she was going to get my UCAS done before Xmas. Last time I heard from her she was going to finish it that night - that was about two weeks ago. I've sent her three emails and text her earlier today but she hasn't replied. I don't know what to do - what if she doesn't reply? I'm worried that maybe something bad has happened so she's been unable to do my reference. Deadline is soon and I wanted to send it off ages ago.

What do I do if she doesn't get back to me before the deadline?! I'm just annoyed as she said she'd get it done before Christmas but she hasn't :/


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Like all other people, teachers are entitled to a Christmas break. Why should she respond to your emails when she's on holiday?

On Monday most schools will be open again - phone and leave a message for her. Or if you can, go round to the school as school finishes in the afternoon and ask to speak to her.
Reply 2
Original post by returnmigrant
Like all other people, teachers are entitled to a Christmas break. Why should she respond to your emails when she's on holiday?

On Monday most schools will be open again - phone and leave a message for her. Or if you can, go round to the school as school finishes in the afternoon and ask to speak to her.


I understand your point - but the fact is that she said she would get it done before Christmas. She hasn't, and now she's not replying to my messages. If she told me that she's unable to do it over the Christmas period then that would have been fine with me - but don't tell me that you will do it at a certain date, don't do it for then, and then ignore my messages!

It's not like I've been bombarding her with emails either. I sent her one email just before Christmas and one a few days after, and I text her this morning wishing her a happy new year and just asking how she's been getting on with my reference. It's not hard for her to message me back as she normally replies to her emails and texts pretty fast, normally within an hour of me sending it.

I'm just having extreme anxiety over the fact that I haven't heard from her in about two weeks after trying to contact her several times, and the UCAS deadline is coming up fast. I couldn't sleep last night thinking that my UCAS won't be sent off because she just won't get back to me. If she has a valid reason then that would be perfectly fine and I can sort out some other arrangement, but I've just had no contact from her at all explaining the situation.

Not only that, I'd like to organise a lesson with her soon!
Reply 3
I feel sorry for you to be honest, she's toying with your future like this
Original post by Charybde
I understand your point - but the fact is that she said she would get it done before Christmas. She hasn't, and now she's not replying to my messages. If she told me that she's unable to do it over the Christmas period then that would have been fine with me - but don't tell me that you will do it at a certain date, don't do it for then, and then ignore my messages!

It's not like I've been bombarding her with emails either. I sent her one email just before Christmas and one a few days after, and I text her this morning wishing her a happy new year and just asking how she's been getting on with my reference. It's not hard for her to message me back as she normally replies to her emails and texts pretty fast, normally within an hour of me sending it.

I'm just having extreme anxiety over the fact that I haven't heard from her in about two weeks after trying to contact her several times, and the UCAS deadline is coming up fast. I couldn't sleep last night thinking that my UCAS won't be sent off because she just won't get back to me. If she has a valid reason then that would be perfectly fine and I can sort out some other arrangement, but I've just had no contact from her at all explaining the situation.

Not only that, I'd like to organise a lesson with her soon!


Just wait till Monday and see what's happening. For all you know she could have had a close family death over the holidays or something that meant she couldn't do it.

It will get done.
Reply 5
Original post by CJG21
Just wait till Monday and see what's happening. For all you know she could have had a close family death over the holidays or something that meant she couldn't do it.

It will get done.


Yeah, I am very concerned as it's not in her character to not respond to messages like this. But it's obviously still very important that she gets this done on time otherwise my application will be late :/

What shall I do if it's a few days before the deadline and I still haven't heard from her?
Reply 6
Original post by 2ndClass
I feel sorry for you to be honest, she's toying with your future like this


Exactly my point. You seriously don't know how worried I am about it :/
Original post by Charybde
Yeah, I am very concerned as it's not in her character to not respond to messages like this. But it's obviously still very important that she gets this done on time otherwise my application will be late :/

What shall I do if it's a few days before the deadline and I still haven't heard from her?


Well you'll be back at school/college on Monday so you can speak to her then.
Reply 8
Original post by CJG21
Well you'll be back at school/college on Monday so you can speak to her then.


Oh no - I'm on a gap year and she's a tutor who I see weekly from her house! So my only means of contact is via email/phone until I organise a lesson.
Original post by Charybde
Oh no - I'm on a gap year and she's a tutor who I see weekly from her house! So my only means of contact is via email/phone until I organise a lesson.


Right.

Have you tried ringing her?
Reply 10
Original post by CJG21
Right.

Have you tried ringing her?


I haven't tried ringing her. As I said I emailed her a few times concerning this and I text her mobile - she always has her mobile on her so that's what I find odd. I haven't rung her yet as I feel a bit uncomfortable as I feel as if she's ignoring me, plus I'm thinking that maybe there's some sort of family crisis going on and I don't want to bug her too much. If I haven't heard from her in a few days then I think I will give her a call.
Original post by Charybde
I haven't tried ringing her. As I said I emailed her a few times concerning this and I text her mobile - she always has her mobile on her so that's what I find odd. I haven't rung her yet as I feel a bit uncomfortable as I feel as if she's ignoring me, plus I'm thinking that maybe there's some sort of family crisis going on and I don't want to bug her too much. If I haven't heard from her in a few days then I think I will give her a call.


Tbh I wouldn't really care if it would be uncomfortable - as mentioned above, she's essentially toying with your future by refusing to respond to any of your emails/texts.
I'd call her first thing tomorrow, if I were you.
Reply 12
For goodness sake, let your teacher enjoy the last days of her holiday. There will still be over a week to go before the deadline even if you wait until Monday, and you'll have the added benefit of not hacking both her and her family off.
Reply 13
Original post by Crumpet1
For goodness sake, let your teacher enjoy the last days of her holiday. There will still be over a week to go before the deadline even if you wait until Monday, and you'll have the added benefit of not hacking both her and her family off.


I'm sorry but it's completely irrelevant. She told me she would get it done over the Xmas period as she 'hasn't got a lot on' so therefore I would expect her to keep to her word - as I would in such a situation.



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Take it up with your college/sixth form, I was worried and went to a support officer or whatever she's called (she's bloody helpful though! :tongue: ) every college will have one, and just express how you're feeling about it and they'll give her a prod and a nudge or if it's out of character for her she might be sick and they might explain that to you and you might have to hang on for a tad longer

Good luck with your application, it's an extremely stressful process and I hope you get through it without losing your mind :lol:


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Reply 15
Original post by Charybde
I'm sorry but it's completely irrelevant. She told me she would get it done over the Xmas period as she 'hasn't got a lot on' so therefore I would expect her to keep to her word - as I would in such a situation.



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I'm astonished you think it's irrelevant. You should perhaps think about this a bit more from her perspective. There is nearly a fortnight before the deadline, and the fact she is ignoring you either means she has her phone switched off for HER HOLIDAYS or you have pestered her so much that you have already alienated her goodwill ... if it's the latter that is hardly the position you want to be in with your referee.
Reply 16
Original post by Crumpet1
I'm astonished you think it's irrelevant. You should perhaps think about this a bit more from her perspective. There is nearly a fortnight before the deadline, and the fact she is ignoring you either means she has her phone switched off for HER HOLIDAYS or you have pestered her so much that you have already alienated her goodwill ... if it's the latter that is hardly the position you want to be in with your referee.


Actually, she told me herself she would get it done before Christmas and said she has more time to get it completed over the holidays so it's better for her that way. That's why it's irrelevant.

Christmas has come and gone, she's not responding to me, and there's still no sign of a completed reference, even though she said she'd do it before Christmas. That's not very professional in my opinion.

I have emailed her twice, and text her once in the space of two weeks, I really wouldn't call that 'pestering'.

To be honest this is not the first problem I've had with her but I'm not going into that right now. If someone tells me they're fine to do something important for me by a certain date then I expect it done? I wouldn't have even cared if she said she couldn't get it done over Christmas - I just like to know so I can stop worrying about it!

Surely you can understand that the application process is extremely stressful, and I'm in my rights to be a bit pissed off that my tutor hasn't done ANYTHING she has said she would and hasn't given me an explanation as to why.

P.S. She doesn't even switch her phone off for her lessons with me so I doubt she would switch it off for weeks over Christmas.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 17
Sometimes people think they can get something done by a date, genuinely believing it will be possible, but then they can't. This will not be the last time in your life that you come across this phenomenon. You are not paying her for her time spent writing your reference, so be respectful of the time that she does spend doing so, and her right to choose when she does so (always assuming the deadline is met in the end). She is giving you her time, and you must realise that she's not exactly well remunerated for doing so. The one thing that teachers do get is their holidays, so let her enjoy her last day of holiday and call her on Monday.
Reply 18
Original post by Crumpet1
Sometimes people think they can get something done by a date, genuinely believing it will be possible, but then they can't. This will not be the last time in your life that you come across this phenomenon. You are not paying her for her time spent writing your reference, so be respectful of the time that she does spend doing so, and her right to choose when she does so (always assuming the deadline is met in the end). She is giving you her time, and you must realise that she's not exactly well remunerated for doing so. The one thing that teachers do get is their holidays, so let her enjoy her last day of holiday and call her on Monday.


I completely appreciate that and I know things crop up which may effect when we get things done. But this is pretty important and I would have thought she would have had the decency to tell me if she was having a problem getting it completed when she said she would. If she would have just told me she couldn't get it done then I wouldn't be bothered right now - but I haven't heard from her in two weeks and I have no idea if I'm going to hear or not for another two weeks. I lost sleep last night worrying about this and I don't want to be in that position.

The thing is it's just an accumulation of things that have made me angry with her. She's a lovely person but she has proven to be very unreliable in the past and this is definitely not one thing I'm going to let go.
Reply 19
Nobody is telling you to let it go. Merely to leave it till she's back at work on Monday.

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