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amoosebouche

Just wond

Reply 1

Caribou

this isnt a dating service/ :wink:

Reply 2

Vetinari

Hehe,

to Hager.

Wouldn't being homosexual or bisexual be in fairly direct violation of Catholic principles? Sure, Catholics don't necessarily take the bible entirely literally, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't heed it's disapproval of homosexuality.

Being both would surely be tough.

Reply 3

supertramp

Yep. Well, my mum's crazy Catholic anyway. But she thinks gays are EVIL, so I'm not planning on telling her.

*Note: I am not actually Catholic by belief, despite whatever my mother happens to say about Baptism.

Wouldn't being homosexual or bisexual be in fairly direct violation of Catholic principles?

Oh, no. They're actually VERY understanding. You are allowed to be gay, just so long as you never ever act on it and repent and pray to God for forgiveness. If you are a dude, and a gay man should come to you for sex, it perfectly acceptable to give them your wife to rape to death, too. Lovely religion, no?

Reply 4

dementedbunny

i'm catholic and bi. i'm not a very devout catholic evem though i was raised as one. my mother is a pretty strict catholic. i think she'd rather have me kill someone than be gay though which is pretty sad :p:

the way i deal is i don't tell her. my mum and i have a really rocky relationship as it is and i don't want to erode it any further. but if you do really feel the need to tell your parents, as catholics, they will most probably be accepting and forgiving. and from a non-religious p.o.v., they're your parents and will love you no matter what.

Reply 5

Vetinari

supertramp

Yep. Well, my mum's crazy Catholic anyway. But she thinks gays are EVIL, so I'm not planning on telling her.

That really sucks. :frown:

You too DB. :frown:

Tabby, do you mind if I ask your reason for asking? Are you someone in a similar situation to supertramp and d-bunny?

Supertramp

If you are a dude, and a gay man should come to you for sex, it perfectly acceptable to give them your wife to rape to death, too. Lovely religion, no?

Hehe, I read through the old testament just for the gory bits. The massacre of the Hivites was a highlight (though one worthy of a good wince though :frown:

). A lot of the rules in the old testament are pretty funny too - what is and isn't acceptable... I didn't ever learn that stuff in RE lessons! :p:

Reply 6

saoirse

Hmmm, im not gay but i have gay friends, and this is one of the many reasons i dont do Catholicism any more

Do you know if the girl you have your eye on is really into her religion or its just imposed on her by her family?

Reply 7

Vetinari

saoirse

Do you know if the girl you have your eye on is really into her religion or its just imposed on her by her family?

I would suggest that very few young people enter catholicism without heavy-handed encouragement of their parents.

Definitely find out how important her religion is to her. Shy likely is shying away because of - as you put it - catholic guilt. However if she's still young then there's no reason why she cant be parted from her religion to some degree. She may well be in the same position as the above posters, so keeping an eye on things in sensible.

But you of course have to remember to respect her choices. If she decides to take her religion over exploration of her sexuality (assuming she was confused about things for a while) then don't try to push things along or ask her to give up on the beliefs she has been taught. Offer her the alternative and let her choose whether to take it. :smile:

Reply 8

silverbolt

supertramp

allowed to be gay but not allowed to be gay? bloody ridiculous
gods i hate christianity

Reply 9

minimo

Hahaha, I used to know this closet lesbian Catholic. I doubt, given how insanely religious she was she would ever admit it.
Good luck OP, this sort of bigotry on the part of religions is really stupid IMO. You're supposed to love your neighbour as yourself according to the Bible. That should include gay people too.

Reply 10

zav

watch stargate sg1 and pick a god of there. they look quite gay and wear makeup so you might be ok then? how about Ra the sun god (yes i know there from egypt)

Helios > Ra

no he is greek and his eyes can't flash so Ra is cooler. Anyway his name sounds more hardcore coolneSs

;shoot; :bban:

Reply 13

FeedTheGoat

zav

no he is greek and his eyes can't flash so Ra is cooler. Anyway his name sounds more hardcore coolneSs

;shoot; :bban:

Ok you win :frown:

Reply 14

zav

FeedTheGoat

Ok you win :frown:

Yes for the first time ever

and over a really important thing :p:

Reply 15

Vetinari

Tabby1984

completely agree vetinari, im not one to push people into situations they dont want to be in. We've had some (very little) contact via email since the start of summer, i mentioned meeting up at some point, she just ignored that part of the email so im taking that as her backing off and i respect it. It's just a shame because i at least wanted to be friends which is how we started off.

As for her religion being her own choice, shes been brought up in a very traditional catholic household, went to a catholic school and sixth form, but also seems to have a strong belief in god of her own accord. We were talking about marriage once and all she said was that her mum would like her to marry a nice Polish catholic boy, so i think shes under alot of pressure as well.

Does she know about your sexuality - and was that the reason for her backing off? Also, her ignoring the part of your email about meeting up doesn't mean she would never want to - she may just dislike the idea of meeting up with anyone she doesn't know very well. If you get to know her better then her stance on this may change. :smile:

Just because you don't want to prise her away from catholocism or force her into anything doesn't mean you shouldn't gently persue her.

The bit about the "nice polish boy" is quite funny. How did she feel about this quasi-arranged marriage with a stereotype? If a young person is being forced into thinking a certain way by their parents then they may be looking to escape it when they are with other people.

I reckon you should definitely keep trying with her, even if it's just to be her friend. It's hardly going to do her any harm, providing you don't try to come on too strong. :smile:

Reply 16

Tennessee

so maybe i'll just stick to emails until i see her again in uni after summer?

Are you two planning to go to the same Uni then? I wouldn't leave it to then really if i were you. It seems as though she is replying to your e-mails fairly swiftly...and so that makes me think that she's keen on becoming friendly with you again, but i think that you should just...e-mail back a few times, and just ask her what she's doing 2moro or that week as a more general question rather than a want to go out? Because then she replies...and you could use her reply of no im not doing anything to ask her if she would like to do something? Maybe make a suggestion of something that's not so date like if you know what i mean? But yeah...if that works out i mean, past that, you should try and get into deeper discussions with her...i mean even ask her why she went so distant from her, ask her if you did anything to make her do that, because i mean when your alone you should just try and sort it all out if possible

Reply 17

Vetinari

Her fluctuations in friendliness could be through confusion - she could potentially be confused about her own feelings for you, although probably more likely she is confused about yours and doesn't want to suggest she would want you to make a move. Of course it could just be because now and again she is busy with stuff and so just doesn't have as much time to chat.

Tennessee suggested asking what she's doing tomorrow, which isn't bad, but you don't want to make her feel like she's being put on the spot if she actually doesn't want to meet up with you.

I think you need to either tone things up or tone it down. Upwards would be saying to her "I want to go see Pirates of the Caribbean - will you come with me?" This can still be in a matey way, but is just more direct. If she just hasn't really paid much attention to you comments like "we should meet up" then this would put it in her face and you'd get an answer one way or another. Of course, if she doesn't want to meet up then it puts her on the spot and may give you an unpleasant taste of rejection.

Alternatively you can stop asking her to meet up, and just hint at it. "I really want to go see Pirates, but my friends have already seen it" or "Superman looks really great. I've got to go see that" or "Ah the weather's getting good enough to play some football if enough people want to play". Y'know - just hints that don't have to be taken as an invitation out. If she takes a special shine to a particular activity then you could extend it to a more direct invitation.

Then again, as Tennessee said, you could keep chatting to her through emails or MSN and carry on getting to know her and leave it at that. :smile:

If you are both going to the same uni I wouldn't just 'leave it'. Make sure you at least stay reasonably good friends so that you don't drift apart by the time uni comes around. :smile:

Reply 18

Vetinari

Be careful of liking her because you can't have her, or just liking her because you are attached to the idea of having her.

Don't try and over analyse it - maybe go shopping with a friend and stop by on a day when you know the girl will be in her shop just to say hi and have a quick look around, but don't linger too long. Just stop for a few minutes then move on to elsewhere. That way you have all your bases covered - you get to see her, she gets to see you, you're not in her face, you're not misinterpreting and you're not ignoring her. :smile:

Good luck, and have fun. :wink: