How Old is "Too Old" to Become a Mum?

Unlike like male fertility, female fertility rapidly decreases throughout the late thirties and early forties.

Older first time mothers are more likely to encounter complications during their pregnancies (such as high blood pressure, diabetes), during labour (causing an increase in invasive interventions such as forceps or C-sections) and post labour (like depression).

In medical literature - a woman having her first baby aged 35 or over was called an elderly primigravida

Whilst many women (and men!) leave starting a family later in life does that make it right?

Do you think younger mums are better in general? Less complications and more energy to spend with their children?

How old would you consider to be too old for a first child? Why?

Reply 1

Tyrion_Lannister

19

I don't concern myself with when others choose to have kids.

I'd like mine in a couple of years

Reply 2

ColdWishes

7

50-70 I'd say were too old. It's much more difficult to run around after young kids if you have arthritis - just saying

After menopause.

40ish I'd say. My parents would be, like, 65 by now and I'd hate that. :s-smilie:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Personally I would prefer to be on the younger side (about 30) just because I think you need a fair bit of energy to get up in the night and run around all day with young kids!

On a larger scale - I do find it odd when someone's parent looks odd enough to be their grandparent.....but many that's just the stress of having kids?!?!

Reply 6

andrew2209

11

50 is the maximum limit in my opinion. I just don't think someone near retirement age is able to really cope with raising a teenager. Plus there's an increased risk of dying as you get older (sounds obvious, but it's definitely something that should be considered if parents are having children in their late 40's)

Reply 7

Fat-Love

15

Depends if you want the child to be biologically yours or not. You could always adopt if you want to avoid the complications of late pregnancy.

My mum had me quite late. Around 40 something so naturally I guess my limit is higher, otherwise I wouldn't be born :P

Reply 8

awe

14

If there is any harm to the child, either during pregnancy/labour/growth/childhood, then that is the time to stop. That's all. I know an 86 year old who can touch her toes, mow the very steep and vast garden, swim in the freezing cold river by her house with her grandchildren etc... I wouldn't say she should have a child, obviously, even if it were possible, because I do think that life expectancy should be taken into account and a mother should be there until adulthood at least... but she could definitely care for and raise a child at her current state. She's exceptional, sure, but it's the example. I wouldn't assume someone of fifty will definitely have less energy to raise a child than some younger parents.

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

I don't concern myself with when others choose to have kids.

I'd like mine in a couple of years

Without offense - so what's the point in posting on what is clearly a thread asking for your opinion of others in/of society and not of yourself? P: It's not quite a 'when do you want kids' question.

Reply 9

Tyrion_Lannister

19

Original post by awe

If there is any harm to the child, either during pregnancy/labour/growth/childhood, then that is the time to stop. That's all. I know an 86 year old who can touch her toes, mow the very steep and vast garden, swim in the freezing cold river by her house with her grandchildren etc... I wouldn't say she should have a child, obviously, even if it were possible, because I do think that life expectancy should be taken into account and a mother should be there until adulthood at least... but she could definitely care for and raise a child at her current state. She's exceptional, sure, but it's the example. I wouldn't assume someone of fifty will definitely have less energy to raise a child than some younger parents.

Without offense - so what's the point in posting on what is clearly a thread asking for your opinion of others in/of society and not of yourself? P: It's not quite a 'when do you want kids' question.

Because my opinion is that people should n't be so interested in what others do

Reply 10

ForgetMe

21

I believe over 50 is a little bit risky to have a baby. My mum's friend who is I believe over 50, had her 3rd child (other 2 are grown ups) and the boy born with Down syndrome I believe.

I even think being 40 or something for a first child is still right but can't tell anything because my mum had me as her 3rd child when she was 41 :h:

Reply 11

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

I think a woman's biological clock is pretty good at telling her when it's too late - the menstrual cycle stops, etc, but I know that there are heightened risks with reproducing towards the end of your reproductive span, and that has to be thought of.

You could potentially get very fit people who are 60 and live to be 104 having children, equally you could have unfit people with ridiculous lifestyles who have children at 20 but would be lucky to live to 50. You can't ever say that there's a cut off that everybody should abide by.

I would say that women need to think more about their age if they want children, though. It is perfectly possible to have a child and a career, and I think it's slightly selfish if you put the health of your child at risk by leaving it late, knowing that you're doing so.

But, as I said, it has to be a "case by case" judgement.

Reply 12

Mel1215

10

Original post by SoftPunch

After menopause.

What if they have early menopause though?

Reply 13

Mel1215

10

I honestly don't know, my Nan had her 6th and last child in her early fourties (ten years difference between the 5th and 6th) and she lived till he was in his mid-thirties so forty something isn't always a bad age.

My Mum had me at 21. I'd rather be 30+ but thats even if I ever have kids.

Reply 14

Mel1215

10

Original post by SoftPunch

I guess then they are very unlucky :tongue:

I actually have no idea at what age does the average menopause hits women!

I think it's mid-late 40's but it differs... Yeah they would be very unlucky!

Reply 15

Kazbian

10

I'd say that when you are in your mid-forties, you are probably getting a bit old for it.

I don't think there is a definite cut off point, though I personally think the best ages to have children are probably late 20s/early 30s. If you're a man, you can get away with being a bit older, but you still want to have plenty of energy to look after your children.