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How do i get her back?
Sorry if i write an essay...
My ex gf split up with me for her ex who she was with for just over 2 years. We dated for 6 months and she loves me and i love her too. However, she doesn't love her bf. She only went out with him because she missed him and all her friends and parents said that she should go out with this guy because he is "safe" and she will not get hurt. Also, she is very easily influenced and she did miss him because they did date for a long time. She only really went out with him because she back in birmingham for the summer holidays and he lives right by her and goes to the local university...
I on the other hand, live in the south east and she is 3 hours away from me by car if i'm lucky with traffic. After work she could just call this guy and they can go out but with me we have to plan it and she hates planning stuff. She says she likes to do things randomly but it's not my fault, i can't keep coming as a suprise because she maybe doing something like she did before, i only got to see her for 1 hour then and it took 4 hours getting home!
Uni starts in just over 2 months and her bf goes on holiday next week for a month so should i get close to her hoping that she'll come back to me? I don't want to split them up but she doesn't love him and he treats her really badly. The guy takes all her money and doesn't care about her and just uses her. I don't know what to do, i mean she cheated on me by kissinh him and we finnished but i miss her so much and i've never loved someone so much.
She says she is happy with him but i know it'll fall to pieces during university but i know i wouldn't go out with her then seein as she would of slept with him by then and this girl is the first person i kissed and slept with!
What to do? Get close with her? Walk away not knowing if i could of got with her, but if i did surely she is gonna miss him again and think about him alot and take it out on me again. How can we go out with her not blaming me for them for splitting, she loves me and i love her, and she don't love this guy nor does he love her so why do her friends and parents influence her so much when they don't even know me
I'm so sweet to her, i would never come in between her friends or mum, it was her mum who found out how attached she was to me and wanted to split her up with me because she kinda got pissed that we were gettin close and her mum was being neglected.
What a mess, please don't hate me for this... i don't want to date her if she is with another guy.
Thankyou for your posts & sorry for the essay!
My ex gf split up with me for her ex who she was with for just over 2 years. We dated for 6 months and she loves me and i love her too. However, she doesn't love her bf. She only went out with him because she missed him and all her friends and parents said that she should go out with this guy because he is "safe" and she will not get hurt. Also, she is very easily influenced and she did miss him because they did date for a long time. She only really went out with him because she back in birmingham for the summer holidays and he lives right by her and goes to the local university...
I on the other hand, live in the south east and she is 3 hours away from me by car if i'm lucky with traffic. After work she could just call this guy and they can go out but with me we have to plan it and she hates planning stuff. She says she likes to do things randomly but it's not my fault, i can't keep coming as a suprise because she maybe doing something like she did before, i only got to see her for 1 hour then and it took 4 hours getting home!
Uni starts in just over 2 months and her bf goes on holiday next week for a month so should i get close to her hoping that she'll come back to me? I don't want to split them up but she doesn't love him and he treats her really badly. The guy takes all her money and doesn't care about her and just uses her. I don't know what to do, i mean she cheated on me by kissinh him and we finnished but i miss her so much and i've never loved someone so much.
She says she is happy with him but i know it'll fall to pieces during university but i know i wouldn't go out with her then seein as she would of slept with him by then and this girl is the first person i kissed and slept with!
What to do? Get close with her? Walk away not knowing if i could of got with her, but if i did surely she is gonna miss him again and think about him alot and take it out on me again. How can we go out with her not blaming me for them for splitting, she loves me and i love her, and she don't love this guy nor does he love her so why do her friends and parents influence her so much when they don't even know me
I'm so sweet to her, i would never come in between her friends or mum, it was her mum who found out how attached she was to me and wanted to split her up with me because she kinda got pissed that we were gettin close and her mum was being neglected.What a mess, please don't hate me for this... i don't want to date her if she is with another guy.
Thankyou for your posts & sorry for the essay!
Reply 1
15
Sorry but she can't really love you all that much if she's back with her ex.
And I think you're underestimating her feelings for her ex. No one goes out with someone just because their friends and family want them to, there has to be feelings there.
And I think you're underestimating her feelings for her ex. No one goes out with someone just because their friends and family want them to, there has to be feelings there.
Reply 2
Fleece
Sorry but she can't really love you all that much if she's back with her ex.
And I think you're underestimating her feelings for her ex. No one goes out with someone just because their friends and family want them to, there has to be feelings there.
And I think you're underestimating her feelings for her ex. No one goes out with someone just because their friends and family want them to, there has to be feelings there.
I know her inside out and she has even told me. She doesn't love him but has feelings for him. Well like i said she is easily influenced, i mean very easily influenced!
Her parents are dead against her going out with me to the point where they said they wont be her parents no more... and her best friend hates me as i used to live with her in halls and someone stole food out the kitchen and i got the blame... but that's another story.
She loves me loads, she has cried so many times and rings me every day just to talk.
Reply 3
15
Sorry but if she really loved you there's no way she'd just get back with her ex. Sounds like she's trying to have her cake and eat it.
Reply 4
Fleece
Sorry but if she really loved you there's no way she'd just get back with her ex. Sounds like she's trying to have her cake and eat it.
It's different for different people. Maybe you are stronger and more secure but this girl is weak and insecure. I know what you mean though, i do try and get over her but when i do she rings me and if i don't pick up after a couple days she gets really upset and i feel really bad. I wanna get over her but it's difficult, i prefer to just have her back
Reply 5
15
Well its not for her to get upset really is it, she's the one who ended it, she can deal with the consequences.
Reply 6
Anonymous
Sorry if i write an essay...
My ex gf split up with me for her ex who she was with for just over 2 years. We dated for 6 months and she loves me and i love her too. However, she doesn't love her bf. She only went out with him because she missed him and all her friends and parents said that she should go out with this guy because he is "safe" and she will not get hurt. Also, she is very easily influenced and she did miss him because they did date for a long time. She only really went out with him because she back in birmingham for the summer holidays and he lives right by her and goes to the local university...
I on the other hand, live in the south east and she is 3 hours away from me by car if i'm lucky with traffic. After work she could just call this guy and they can go out but with me we have to plan it and she hates planning stuff. She says she likes to do things randomly but it's not my fault, i can't keep coming as a suprise because she maybe doing something like she did before, i only got to see her for 1 hour then and it took 4 hours getting home!
Uni starts in just over 2 months and her bf goes on holiday next week for a month so should i get close to her hoping that she'll come back to me? I don't want to split them up but she doesn't love him and he treats her really badly. The guy takes all her money and doesn't care about her and just uses her. I don't know what to do, i mean she cheated on me by kissinh him and we finnished but i miss her so much and i've never loved someone so much.
She says she is happy with him but i know it'll fall to pieces during university but i know i wouldn't go out with her then seein as she would of slept with him by then and this girl is the first person i kissed and slept with!
What to do? Get close with her? Walk away not knowing if i could of got with her, but if i did surely she is gonna miss him again and think about him alot and take it out on me again. How can we go out with her not blaming me for them for splitting, she loves me and i love her, and she don't love this guy nor does he love her so why do her friends and parents influence her so much when they don't even know me I'm so sweet to her, i would never come in between her friends or mum, it was her mum who found out how attached she was to me and wanted to split her up with me because she kinda got pissed that we were gettin close and her mum was being neglected.
What a mess, please don't hate me for this... i don't want to date her if she is with another guy.
Thankyou for your posts & sorry for the essay!
My ex gf split up with me for her ex who she was with for just over 2 years. We dated for 6 months and she loves me and i love her too. However, she doesn't love her bf. She only went out with him because she missed him and all her friends and parents said that she should go out with this guy because he is "safe" and she will not get hurt. Also, she is very easily influenced and she did miss him because they did date for a long time. She only really went out with him because she back in birmingham for the summer holidays and he lives right by her and goes to the local university...
I on the other hand, live in the south east and she is 3 hours away from me by car if i'm lucky with traffic. After work she could just call this guy and they can go out but with me we have to plan it and she hates planning stuff. She says she likes to do things randomly but it's not my fault, i can't keep coming as a suprise because she maybe doing something like she did before, i only got to see her for 1 hour then and it took 4 hours getting home!
Uni starts in just over 2 months and her bf goes on holiday next week for a month so should i get close to her hoping that she'll come back to me? I don't want to split them up but she doesn't love him and he treats her really badly. The guy takes all her money and doesn't care about her and just uses her. I don't know what to do, i mean she cheated on me by kissinh him and we finnished but i miss her so much and i've never loved someone so much.
She says she is happy with him but i know it'll fall to pieces during university but i know i wouldn't go out with her then seein as she would of slept with him by then and this girl is the first person i kissed and slept with!
What to do? Get close with her? Walk away not knowing if i could of got with her, but if i did surely she is gonna miss him again and think about him alot and take it out on me again. How can we go out with her not blaming me for them for splitting, she loves me and i love her, and she don't love this guy nor does he love her so why do her friends and parents influence her so much when they don't even know me
I'm so sweet to her, i would never come in between her friends or mum, it was her mum who found out how attached she was to me and wanted to split her up with me because she kinda got pissed that we were gettin close and her mum was being neglected.What a mess, please don't hate me for this... i don't want to date her if she is with another guy.
Thankyou for your posts & sorry for the essay!
Shes probably done you a favour. 6months isnt that long really, you only really had a fling. Shes also taught you about what to do in bed, so you can take those skills and try them on someone knew.
Best thing for you to do though, is not get all whingey and upset with her on the phone, pretend like you dont care. If she really does care about you she'll be on the phone to you all the time wondering exactly why it is that you dont care? but you have to keep the 'treat em mean stuff' to get maximum results.
And for gods sake, never tell her you'll fall apart without her.
Reply 7
I'd let her go i know it's hard but she clearly doesn't love you, and if it goes wrong for her, don't take her back
Reply 8
Fleece
Well its not for her to get upset really is it, she's the one who ended it, she can deal with the consequences.
Bang on with that one
Reply 9
14
Give up, not worth it, it's a teenage relationship for christ sake.
Reply 10
Carl1982
I'd let her go i know it's hard but she clearly doesn't love you, and if it goes wrong for her, don't take her back
I agree with this!!!
Then again im a hippocryte (how the f do u spell that word??)
I'd get with my x in a second!
xx
Reply 11
1
You can't go around being a knight in shining armour all the time. It seems like you want it to hae been something more than what it was, if that makes sense. (probably not) Some big romantic yet doomed relationship. The thing is, if you want her in your life, it'd just have to be as a friend and wouldn't that be hard for you.
if you really do want to help her, the best thing you can do first of all is have a break and sort yourself out.
That way, you can maybe realise that this relationship type thing isn't right for you OR you'll be strong enough in yourself to deal with her (in a good way) without getting romantically attatched to her and possibly screwing it up and putting you back to square one.
Either's good, but it isn't going to happen overnight. Try explaining to her that you can't be a security blanket until you work out some stuff for yourself. She can't take advantage of you and drag you down without giving you a chance to build up first.
Whatever happens, hope you're ok.
if you really do want to help her, the best thing you can do first of all is have a break and sort yourself out.
That way, you can maybe realise that this relationship type thing isn't right for you OR you'll be strong enough in yourself to deal with her (in a good way) without getting romantically attatched to her and possibly screwing it up and putting you back to square one.
Either's good, but it isn't going to happen overnight. Try explaining to her that you can't be a security blanket until you work out some stuff for yourself. She can't take advantage of you and drag you down without giving you a chance to build up first.
Whatever happens, hope you're ok.
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