This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- how do i get over him??
- Why does my boyfriend like me around but doesn’t give me attention
- how to get over first love?
- How do i get over someone?
- date match- pls advice
- He haunts me…
- Was I too mean
- Not sure if I should forgive my Bf for getting physical in an argument
- lonely forever ???
- Should I tell him
- I’m in love with him but I think it’s too late (ps this very long)
- Bf unhappy I won't let him do stuff
- How do I get over someone I'm too emotionally attached to??
- Should I let my boyfriend jerk off with his male friend?
- what should i do about him? eek
- How do I get over my ex?
- Crush for 4 years
- Boyfriend didn’t tell me he talks to girl from his past
- Toxic
- relationship and parents advice please
just an infatutation? how to get over him...
i had a huge crush on this guy for 2 years and recently started speaking to him online. i know he's very shy but we can chat and he makes me laugh. my instincts tells me that he likes me (before we started speaking online, he always stared at me when he saw me around) but he seems to have problem showing emotion. i know he does care about me but he can be extremely cold at times. just shrugging things off with a "f--- it" and when i tell him that i do like him, he'll just be like "cool".
he has mood swings so he can be hard to read (especially online). when i see him face-to-face, he's quiet. my girl mates say that we'd make a sweet couple and that i should just get to know him better, on the other hand, my guy mates thinks i can do better, and doesn't know what i see in him. he isnt a typically good-looking boy but there is something i really like about him.
the problem is, i just keep trying and trying to make him open up to me, and i don't feel like i'm getting anywhere and it gets me really upset that he doesn't understand what i'm going through (or he does but doesnt want to do anything about it).
from what i've seen and heard, he's not really the type to bother with getting to know girls (and yes he is straight), but he'll usually start messaging me first online and invite me to his gigs, and i don't know what he wants from me. i hate this game. i've turned down several decent guys coz i wanted him so much, but now part of me is wondering if he's worth it at all. i'm so confused.
he has mood swings so he can be hard to read (especially online). when i see him face-to-face, he's quiet. my girl mates say that we'd make a sweet couple and that i should just get to know him better, on the other hand, my guy mates thinks i can do better, and doesn't know what i see in him. he isnt a typically good-looking boy but there is something i really like about him.
the problem is, i just keep trying and trying to make him open up to me, and i don't feel like i'm getting anywhere and it gets me really upset that he doesn't understand what i'm going through (or he does but doesnt want to do anything about it).
from what i've seen and heard, he's not really the type to bother with getting to know girls (and yes he is straight), but he'll usually start messaging me first online and invite me to his gigs, and i don't know what he wants from me. i hate this game. i've turned down several decent guys coz i wanted him so much, but now part of me is wondering if he's worth it at all. i'm so confused.
Sort out what you really want in your head. Do you really want to have a relationship with him? Do you think if you did it would work?
sounds a bit of an ass, to me...
Ask him how he feels about the whole thing, sometimes people need a push imo.
If you already told him you liked him and he just said 'cool'. Either he's interested but not bothered much or he's just not bothered at all...
Just keep thinking this and get over him. It doesn't sound like anything's gonna change.
Just keep thinking this and get over him. It doesn't sound like anything's gonna change.
Sazarina88
Sort out what you really want in your head. Do you really want to have a relationship with him? Do you think if you did it would work?
i do want a relationship with him and i honestly think it would work once he opens up but i can't make him. we do get on so well, we have alot in common and we can stay up all night chatting to each other. i just feel we got this hurdle to get over but its such a challenge at the moment. i think he's insecure and scared of being vulnerable. i don't want to force him too much.
Anonymous
i think he's insecure and scared of being vulnerable.
Talk to him about that then.
Anonymous
from what i've seen and heard, he's not really the type to bother with getting to know girls (and yes he is straight), but he'll usually start messaging me first online and invite me to his gigs, and i don't know what he wants from me. i hate this game. i've turned down several decent guys coz i wanted him so much, but now part of me is wondering if he's worth it at all. i'm so confused.
In red it sounds like he just wants to be your firend. Keep your options open, and try talking to those guys that liked you.
Lyndzxx
In red it sounds like he just wants to be your firend.
sometimes i feel that maybe he does, but as i said before, he's not the type to bother with "making friends" with girls, and other people have confirmed this. he said so himself that he wouldnt really bother with girls he meet at bars and stuff. he always asks me what i'm up to and seems to what to get to know me better. when i talk about other guys, he'll say stuff like "yeh why'd u wanna know that anyway?" and keep asking questions until i say i wasnt asking for me, to which he goes "oh ok then".
Ok, well to be honest with you i think then he only wants to be your firend. Your in love with the idea of being in love with him, and he's not all that interested in what you do with love. It's just infatutation, over time you will get over him.
Lyndzxx
Your in love with the idea of being in love with him
i think you're right
I think you should, try to forget about him and move on. You can't wait for a guy who does not show any feelings back to you. But keep him as a firend.
I hope you're are okay, i understand something like this can hurt so much. I was in a simular situation. You can pm me anytime to talk about it, if you want.
Anonymous
i had a huge crush on this guy for 2 years and recently started speaking to him online. i know he's very shy but we can chat and he makes me laugh. my instincts tells me that he likes me (before we started speaking online, he always stared at me when he saw me around) but he seems to have problem showing emotion. i know he does care about me but he can be extremely cold at times. just shrugging things off with a "f--- it" and when i tell him that i do like him, he'll just be like "cool".
he has mood swings so he can be hard to read (especially online). when i see him face-to-face, he's quiet. my girl mates say that we'd make a sweet couple and that i should just get to know him better, on the other hand, my guy mates thinks i can do better, and doesn't know what i see in him. he isnt a typically good-looking boy but there is something i really like about him.
the problem is, i just keep trying and trying to make him open up to me, and i don't feel like i'm getting anywhere and it gets me really upset that he doesn't understand what i'm going through (or he does but doesnt want to do anything about it).
from what i've seen and heard, he's not really the type to bother with getting to know girls (and yes he is straight), but he'll usually start messaging me first online and invite me to his gigs, and i don't know what he wants from me. i hate this game. i've turned down several decent guys coz i wanted him so much, but now part of me is wondering if he's worth it at all. i'm so confused.
he has mood swings so he can be hard to read (especially online). when i see him face-to-face, he's quiet. my girl mates say that we'd make a sweet couple and that i should just get to know him better, on the other hand, my guy mates thinks i can do better, and doesn't know what i see in him. he isnt a typically good-looking boy but there is something i really like about him.
the problem is, i just keep trying and trying to make him open up to me, and i don't feel like i'm getting anywhere and it gets me really upset that he doesn't understand what i'm going through (or he does but doesnt want to do anything about it).
from what i've seen and heard, he's not really the type to bother with getting to know girls (and yes he is straight), but he'll usually start messaging me first online and invite me to his gigs, and i don't know what he wants from me. i hate this game. i've turned down several decent guys coz i wanted him so much, but now part of me is wondering if he's worth it at all. i'm so confused.
Maybe if you like him so much and cared so much, maybe consider NOT trying to get him to open up to you but rather, respect his decision for privacy? If you care and show that you care, he doesn't necessarily need to tell you things to realise it. I've had friends, especially one of my best friends, who never talk. We're very close friends and she just doesn't open up about emotions and what's troubling her and etc and I respect that. I ask if she's ok, just so I've opened the topic and I've shown that - I care, I'm here to talk - and then if she chooses to simply walk her away, I let her walk. I know she appreciates me, even though she rarely shares with me her thoughts etc.
As for guys, just be there for him. Stop trying to make him open up and worry more about how you can be there for him. Eventually he'll come to realise you really do care and he'll grow comfortable with talking. Or maybe he'll never be completely comfortable with that, but if you want him and think you can deal with it, then it's all good. My bf is shy and quiet and while he talks easily and shows emotions with no problems, he doesn't always talk about how or what he's feeling. Like one time I know he was upset so I asked if he was ok - he said no. And I knew he didn't wanna talk about it - so I suggested "Wanna watch X Files?" (a little thing between us - we tend to watch that and Friends together to have a laugh etc) and I know it cheers him up. By the end of the night he still hasn't talked about it, but he did thank me for being there.
Point is, basically, making him open up to you is not the most important thing. The most important thing is how to be there for him, despite the fact that he does not want to talk. They do appreciate little things like that, especially private people. The more you try to pry, the more they shy away. On the other hand, if you give them space, they will gradually come to you and without speaking, you two will bond.
uhuh. i understand. there are times when we've touched a water a bit too much and he starts going a bit weird, so i'd just say "let's just leave it" and change the topic. but at times, he sometimes bring things up between us from the past as though he's trying to clarify himself (though not so successfully). i'm trying to give him space but its so hard sometimes. i don't need him to shower me with affection, i wouldnt want to be suffocated like that. i know he finds it hard to be affectionate, but he can be so sweet to me sometimes (in a little boy kinda way) and he does offer me compliments (more in a weird way tho... but i think he's trying to mean well). i dno, i guess i just want him to be more clear about his intentions.
Ron Stoppable
I'll let you take me out - no kissing, though.
^o)
Interesting. I think i have the same thing, but the other way round. The thing is, I know that she likes me and I know that because her friends (as well as mine) have told me many times that she does.
The only problem I have is that I don't want to arrange something formal, but every time I invite her somewhere, something seems to come up. I'm not sure if she's nervous and feels obligated to make an excuse, or if she's simply lost interest and her friends are toying with me.
Trivialities aside, I'm not sure if I even want to be a) in a relationship and b) with her and not someone else. She's smart, witty, attractive and I can't really fault her (she's younger than me, but I'm nitpicking here), but... i still don't know.
Sorry to hijack here...
Thing is... there's another girl. My best friend is going out with her's and, obviously, a lot of information passes between the two.
To be honest I don't know if my indecision lies with the two girls and making a decision (that sounds awful), or if it lies with me - not wanting to go out with either of them.
I talk to them both on msn, both in person but neither are that frequent. I don't know why, but I get the feeling that everything would've been much better if no one had told me the way they felt and something might have happened naturally, but now everytime i speak to them it feels artificial and i find myself either trying to impress them, or trying to say as little as possible to avoid saying something stupid.
To top it all off, the fact that I'm aware of all of this and I analyse it all means that I can understand why I do the things I do, yet still have no idea why they do the things they do. The one thing I would ultimately love is for either girl to say openly 'I like you' or something equally as arbitrary just so that the air is cleared. I know this is terribly weak and even lazy of me to not simply do this myself, but the problem is I have a seperate choice to make. The truth is that I'm worried i'll end up still on my own and i will have wasted a (or 2) fantastic chances.
So my advice to the op, is come out and tell him. Put him and yourself out of your misery because trust me, he is probobly suffering as much as you are.
The only problem I have is that I don't want to arrange something formal, but every time I invite her somewhere, something seems to come up. I'm not sure if she's nervous and feels obligated to make an excuse, or if she's simply lost interest and her friends are toying with me.
Trivialities aside, I'm not sure if I even want to be a) in a relationship and b) with her and not someone else. She's smart, witty, attractive and I can't really fault her (she's younger than me, but I'm nitpicking here), but... i still don't know.
Sorry to hijack here...
Thing is... there's another girl. My best friend is going out with her's and, obviously, a lot of information passes between the two.
To be honest I don't know if my indecision lies with the two girls and making a decision (that sounds awful), or if it lies with me - not wanting to go out with either of them.
I talk to them both on msn, both in person but neither are that frequent. I don't know why, but I get the feeling that everything would've been much better if no one had told me the way they felt and something might have happened naturally, but now everytime i speak to them it feels artificial and i find myself either trying to impress them, or trying to say as little as possible to avoid saying something stupid.
To top it all off, the fact that I'm aware of all of this and I analyse it all means that I can understand why I do the things I do, yet still have no idea why they do the things they do. The one thing I would ultimately love is for either girl to say openly 'I like you' or something equally as arbitrary just so that the air is cleared. I know this is terribly weak and even lazy of me to not simply do this myself, but the problem is I have a seperate choice to make. The truth is that I'm worried i'll end up still on my own and i will have wasted a (or 2) fantastic chances.
So my advice to the op, is come out and tell him. Put him and yourself out of your misery because trust me, he is probobly suffering as much as you are.
Related discussions
- how do i get over him??
- Why does my boyfriend like me around but doesn’t give me attention
- how to get over first love?
- How do i get over someone?
- date match- pls advice
- He haunts me…
- Was I too mean
- Not sure if I should forgive my Bf for getting physical in an argument
- lonely forever ???
- Should I tell him
- I’m in love with him but I think it’s too late (ps this very long)
- Bf unhappy I won't let him do stuff
- How do I get over someone I'm too emotionally attached to??
- Should I let my boyfriend jerk off with his male friend?
- what should i do about him? eek
- How do I get over my ex?
- Crush for 4 years
- Boyfriend didn’t tell me he talks to girl from his past
- Toxic
- relationship and parents advice please
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 weeks ago
What are the psychological aggression that you face a lot as ethnic minority?Last reply 1 month ago
Is it normal to have “friendship fatigue†as you age?
