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How can I reasure him?

10

Hey all. I'm looking for some advice. My boyfriend and I are very close and trust eachother 100% however he doesn't like the idea of me being at uni 100's of miles away from him with lots of other people, especially other guys. (although due to part of things that happened in my past girls worry him aswell.)

Anyway we've spoken about this a couple of times and both times I've told him that there should be no reason for him to worry if he trusts me. others can want but they won't get.

I just want to know if anyone could give me advice on how to reassure him that I'm not going to give in to anyone and that I'm totally devoted to him :smile:

Reply 1

username47781

20

Basically if you love him enough then there will be no problem, just tell him that if he really loves you then nothing will happen, think thats all you gotta tell him.

Reply 2

Fleece

15

I actually read this as how can I measure him.

Reply 3

Daveo

16

Trust is always an issue in lond distance relationships, but if you love each other and are meant for each other then you'll get through the LDR period and come out the other end together.

Just reassure him as much as you can, try not to make him too jealous and just try and talk it through as much as possible

Reply 4

blissy

15

Daveo

Trust is always an issue in lond distance relationships, but if you love each other and are meant for each other then you'll get through the LDR period and come out the other end together.

Just reassure him as much as you can, try not to make him too jealous and just try and talk it through as much as possible

Yes but you can still come out the other end and break up.

Reply 5

PlayboyBunny

Dave, in arguments, the "yes but" person is usually the indignant one in denial, right?

Roxi, dont say it, show it! Little spontaneous gestures and surprises are always good!

Reply 6

HeadShock

the question really is can you trust yourself, once you have done that then maybe try speakin to him.

Reply 7

Andy Spark

1

I dunno if you can reassure him:

You can promise stuff and say everything you should say but it's up to him to believe it or not and you can't make him believe you if he doesn't want to/can't.

If he doesn't trust you and ends up splitting up with you because of his worries, that's his problem, not yours - if you are faithful from now on (compared to your past), that is.

Back when I was with my girlfriend, she wasn't worried about what I'd be like going to uni, but I was worried about her staying at home (she's in the year below)...not because I thought she actually would cheat, but because there's just more of an opportunity to. But that's my own pessimistic, paranoid thought processes and not her problem (because she wouldn't have). Same with your boyfriend and what he thinks.

EDIT -

foxiroxi

Hey all. I'm looking for some advice. My boyfriend and I are very close and trust eachother 100% however he doesn't like the idea of me being at uni 100's of miles away from him with lots of other people, especially other guys. (although due to part of things that happened in my past girls worry him aswell.)

Don't contradict yourself. Also, don't write what you know isn't true and give yourself false hope and defend him when he doesn't trust you. No-one can trust anyone 100% and if they do, they are far too much like a doormat.

Reply 8

Vetinari

8

Ooh! Ooh! Wear a chastity belt! :p:

Reply 9

foxiroxi

OP

10

Thanks everyone.

Andy, He does say he trusts me. He tells me it's not me his worried about but other people. I've never cheated on him and don't plan on doing so. I really can't understand his worry myself. I can't see how he can say he trusts me but then worry, unless of course he will get jelous over the thought of other guys liking me. (Which come to think of it he does) Which I can see his point of.

Well now I've started rambling I shall shut up...I'm more talking to myself! :biggrin:

Think I will just go with Vetinari's suggestion! LOL :P

Reply 10

insparato

15

He's scared its understandable LDR's if you're strong enough will work.

Reply 11

Andy Spark

1

foxiroxi

Andy, He does say he trusts me. He tells me it's not me his worried about but other people. I've never cheated on him and don't plan on doing so. I really can't understand his worry myself. I can't see how he can say he trusts me but then worry, unless of course he will get jelous over the thought of other guys liking me. (Which come to think of it he does) Which I can see his point of.

But then you can't possibly reassure him because then you'd basically be lying - you can't say "don't worry, guys won't be coming after me", because they might. As I said, it's his mind that is/isn't letting him accept that you won't cheat or have the chance to, not you - so there really isn't anything you can do, unfortunately.

Reply 12

darryl

13

Fleece

I actually read this as how can I measure him.

Reply 13

Happy_Rocker

1

^^

Reply 14

NViasko

foxiroxi

Hey all. I'm looking for some advice. My boyfriend and I are very close and trust eachother 100% however he doesn't like the idea of me being at uni 100's of miles away from him with lots of other people, especially other guys. (although due to part of things that happened in my past girls worry him aswell.)

Anyway we've spoken about this a couple of times and both times I've told him that there should be no reason for him to worry if he trusts me. others can want but they won't get.

I just want to know if anyone could give me advice on how to reassure him that I'm not going to give in to anyone and that I'm totally devoted to him :smile:

You could give him, a hot, sticky, chocolate donut.

Reply 15

norelle

5

Fleece

I actually read this as how can I measure him.

A retractable tape measure is NOT a good idea - those things are sharp.

To the OP - he either trusts you or he doesn't. I can understand him being a little bit insecure since you're a good distance apart, but at the end of the day there's not much you can do to improve the situation. He has to do it himself.

Or, you know, hot sticky chocolate donut. Although I'm not 100% sure what that means...

Reply 16

foxiroxi

OP

10

I think chocolate full stop sounds good.....for me as a way to just get over the stress of what uni has to bring!!!! :biggrin:

Aswell as a very strong drink!

Reply 17

banksy

1

How about marriage?

Reply 18

Alasdair

14

Vetinari

I know it was my suggestion but... how the hell do you go to the toilet wearing one of those?!

There's a wee grille in the front, and I daren't speculate about the arrangements at the back (although the question of how effective it would be at preventing...novel forms of sexual intercourse in that area is raised).

Reply 19

silverbolt

19

foxiroxi

Thanks everyone.

Andy, He does say he trusts me. He tells me it's not me his worried about but other people. I've never cheated on him and don't plan on doing so. I really can't understand his worry myself. I can't see how he can say he trusts me but then worry, unless of course he will get jelous over the thought of other guys liking me. (Which come to think of it he does) Which I can see his point of.

Well now I've started rambling I shall shut up...I'm more talking to myself! :biggrin:

Think I will just go with Vetinari's suggestion! LOL :P

I'm sorry but the whole line of i trust you i just dont trust everyone else is a load of crap. So they are going to force you to cheat on him by putting a gun to your head?
I thik deep down he doesnt trust otherwise he wouldnt need to be so worried about you.
And if other guys like you so what?
Other guys like my gf but i know shes not going anywhere (plus for some reason most guys are scared of me lol)

You can only reasure him you cant ake him trust you, just do your best

How can I reasure him?

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