No friends at uni after a term Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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Hi, I'm annoyed. I was really looking forward to university before I started. I thought of it as an exciting adventure that involved a constant mixture of brilliant societies and interesting coursework. Most of all I was really looking forward to making friends. I haven't made any new friends for a number of years and was getting tired of being alone.

In reality, societies only take up a few hours a week and are often canceled. I spent many hundreds of pounds on joining societies and can't see when I will get my moneys worth. My course is mostly interesting, but occasionally I feel like I'm living at school, like a permanent detention. It is now January and I have no friends. I started to make a few friends in freshers week, but after that they seemed increasingly uninterested in talking to me for some reason.

I don't really know why I'm typing this, perhaps it's somewhat comforting to structure my emotions into words. Anyway, any thoughts that you have to share would be appreciated. Thanks.
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IEMM
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How did you spend a few hundred on societies!?!?
Are you living at home or in Halls?
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Ornlu
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What uni do you go to? Maybe we can hook you up with people on TSR... :hmmmm:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by IEMM)
How did you spend a few hundred on societies!?!?
Are you living at home or in Halls?
Societies are so expensive here! Apparently at other universities they cost about £10- £30 to join. I paid about £70 or more for each society. On top of that I had to buy kit for sailing, hiking, etc. I probably spent over £300 before I'd paid to go on the trips with them.

I'm in a hall. You're probably thinking maybe I should talk to my flatmates more but I've tried that. Just like everyone here they like clubbing, drinking too much and competing to see who can "chunder" the most, whereas I like outdoor activities. I tried going clubbing with them but I find clubbing really really boring. I haven't managed to get anywhere past "acquaintances" on friendship scale with them, despite trying to be very friendly. I talk to them about their day, gave them cake and made them dinner but no, they just want alcohol, clubbing and vomit. Fun.
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IEMM
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Well you are bound to have some friends after going on those trips, don't worry too much about clubbing it will calm down this term due to money/work building up/less time and energy etc.

Try and find clubs that play music of your favourite genre, then join the society of that genre and see if you can find people to go with.
I don't drink but I still go clubbing, a lot of the time it's a good way to meet people that could eventually be good friends.

Don't worry too much about it
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hedoesntlikeit
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Apparently at other universities they cost about £10- £30 to join. I paid about £70 or more for each society.
:eek::eek::eek: jeez louise they were like 3 quid max at mine...
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Clip
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What are you reading?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by IEMM)
Try and find clubs that play music of your favorite genre
lol imagine jumping up and down in a club to the beat of Simon and Garfunkel (my favorite music) . Also I can't join any more societies such as music related ones because people are only able to join societies in freshers week. That's a shame because skateboarding looks fun but I'll have to wait till next year to try it.
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lyrical_lie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
lol imagine jumping up and down in a club to the beat of Simon and Garfunkel (my favorite music) . Also I can't join any more societies such as music related ones because people are only able to join societies in freshers week. That's a shame because skateboarding looks fun but I'll have to wait till next year to try it.
That's rubbish Especially the part about only joining in freshers week. Often uni's have a "refresher" semester 2 when you can get free trials at clubs. And how about getting involved in charity work or something?

I'll talk to you :awesome: I'm bored of clubbing too
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Capn cas
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The weather is a bit bad atm, that is why your hiking and sailing societies may be on hiatus (if you've started semester 2 already). We won't reconvene for Mountain climbing society for the time being because ... well.

Just make an effort at the soc's to chat to people, as they have things in common with you. The people in halls are just randoms put together, with nothing necessarily in common.
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Amandablanks
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Hello
I have found it easy to make friends by starting up random conversation. Not always with the intention of being friends but some people do latch on and ask for your number etc.
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Anonymous #1
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I'm still annoyed. How can I feel alone in a place full of people? I've joined societies, chatted to random people the dinner queue, gone to social events, done everything that people do to try to meet new people. It's not worked. I guess there's no hope left. I haven't really had any friends in years and I'm sick of it. It's starting to make me care less about my course. I'm also spending more and more time in my room because I don't have anything to do and I don't really care anyway. I think I know why I have no friends though: I must be a nasty little ****... or something. I keep wishing I was home, even though home isn't any better than here.

Again I'm just venting my thoughts.... how pointless...
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Anonymous #2
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what uni are you at
and im afraid i might end up like you because im afraid i wont make any friends considering my current 'friends' at the moment
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cole-slaw
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm still annoyed. How can I feel alone in a place full of people? I've joined societies, chatted to random people the dinner queue, gone to social events, done everything that people do to try to meet new people. It's not worked. I guess there's no hope left. I haven't really had any friends in years and I'm sick of it. It's starting to make me care less about my course. I'm also spending more and more time in my room because I don't have anything to do and I don't really care anyway. I think I know why I have no friends though: I must be a nasty little ****... or something. I keep wishing I was home, even though home isn't any better than here.

Again I'm just venting my thoughts.... how pointless...

So how can you improve this?

Possibly you could start by being less judgemental about people who enjoy going out and drinking and socialising?
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