The Student Room Group

Advice Please!

Hi there.

I would just like some anonymous advice from an outside perspective, if you will. I'm an F2 doctor suffering from career what ifs? and doubts.

I constantly have self doubts that I shouldn't be a doctor which makes me want to quit. I feel as though I'm not as good as my colleagues. As an F1 I made a few mistakes and a couple as an F2- but then so did my colleagues it seemed- did I make anymore? I'm not sure that I did? With my closest friends they would confide in me the mistakes they had made, and I would share mine. I've always spoken to senior doctors as soon as I felt I made one and no one has ever disciplined me for them or told me that is has been particularly bad or even moderately bad. Whenever I work on one of the "units," eg MAU, SAU, HDU, ITU I sometimes felt like I knew a lot less than the nurses (which can be very true) and I would be very indecisive at times. I sometimes crumble infront of the critical care nurses as I don't trust myself to say the right thing.

I've had my end of placement reviews and the consultants told me I have done well and that when they have spoken to other consultants they only had good things to say, one said he spoke to one of the surgeons that had been one of the best he had seen in recent years- when I heard that I assumed the surgeon had mixed me up with another F2 that looked like me (I still don't know if I believe it). My most recent end of placement review that I had, I was told I was excellent (of good character and skills etc, supportive to nurses) and there were no bad comments. Yet, I still don't believe it, for example, I think, well, they haven't seen the bad side of my doctoring, they haven't seen me all of the time.

I've been on GP in the first block of F2 and the patients told me I had helped them a lot, but I lived in fear before any session that I would come across something I did not know and panicked constantly that I would miss something or kill someone.

Ive got a book where I write down all the good comments over the years as I refer to it regularly. I've tried counselling which doesn't work to me, though when I worked with a clinical psychologist it did, but unfortunately we don't have one at our trust.

I just don't know if it's worth doing it anymore, it makes me so unhappy. I daydream about working as a secretary or in a shop, or going travelling around the world, I know the grass is always greener but it does sound amazing to me. Unfortunately my financial situation won't let me quit at the moment and there's a small voice saying keep going, keep trying.

Any thoughts, comments, advice, feelings? Thank you :smile:
Reply 1
In my opinion, being a doctor is about truly caring for a patient and wanting to help them. If you have the passion to help others then I'd carry on, because i'm sure many trainee doctors have the same doubts as you -and it's what you do in those times of self doubt that really matter, because a patient needs re-assurance not something else to worry them :smile: Why quit now when you've come this far?

But if you truly dislike it and are only in it for some shallow reason, I'd suggest you do something else that makes you happier :smile:
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 2
Thank you for your reply, JackBlack.

I am so disillushioned with it that I don't see that I help patients anymore (if I weren't there, someone else would be in my place) Of course, when I went into medicine it was to help people, but now with acute medical on calls, it seems I'm not helping them, it's just an endless conveyer belt of patients that you may order a test here and there on, start or stop a medication (I know I'm simplifying here) and on calls you would just try and keep them alive til the morning, as you're covering 8-9 wards on your own, then get shouted at by someone for not doing a discharge letter etc. I suppose when I was in GP, that's when I felt I helped the most people (but a lot of it through listening to them carefully). As for the re-assurance, I never let my doubts transfer over to the patient, try to appear confident, and obviously if I am in self doubt, call for senior help (maybe I do that too much as well !)
Reply 3
Original post by bluewhale1234
Hi there.

I would just like some anonymous advice from an outside perspective, if you will. I'm an F2 doctor suffering from career what ifs? and doubts.


I don't think it's particularly uncommon to have those sort of worries. Particularly around FY2 when you need to start making choices about your long term career plans. FY2 is a strange time. You are not exactly brand new anymore, there is an expectation that you will take on more responsibility and you can find yourself on an old SHO rota with people who can have up to 3 years more experience than you. We have FY2 on our rota and there is little distinction when on call of what is expected from them and a CT3.

You are probably right that those critical care nurses know more than you. Put it in perspective though. They may have worked on that unit for 20 years. They may have done masters or PhD in critical care. They should know more than an FY2 rotating through the specialty for 4 months. You bring different set of skills to the table but you do not have the experience. There is a certain dynamics within ITU and nurses can be a bit possessive and protective of 'their' patient. They spend 12 hours with them providing 1:1 care. They are a bit worried that an inexperienced doctor is going to mess things up and either create work for them or harm the patient. I was very much at receiving end of that as my first FY1 job was in ITU. I did make a lot of mess (think art lines and pristine white sheets) and made a few stupid mistakes so their worries were perfectly justified. I never thought it meant that I was a bad doctor, just inexperienced.

Are those doubts just centered around work or is it part of wider confidence and self esteem issues? It seems that you get positive feedback from patients and colleagues but you find it hard to believe for some reason.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 4
Original post by bluewhale1234
Thank you for your reply, JackBlack.

I am so disillushioned with it that I don't see that I help patients anymore (if I weren't there, someone else would be in my place) Of course, when I went into medicine it was to help people, but now with acute medical on calls, it seems I'm not helping them, it's just an endless conveyer belt of patients that you may order a test here and there on, start or stop a medication (I know I'm simplifying here) and on calls you would just try and keep them alive til the morning, as you're covering 8-9 wards on your own, then get shouted at by someone for not doing a discharge letter etc. I suppose when I was in GP, that's when I felt I helped the most people (but a lot of it through listening to them carefully). As for the re-assurance, I never let my doubts transfer over to the patient, try to appear confident, and obviously if I am in self doubt, call for senior help (maybe I do that too much as well !)


It's very easy to feel like that in hospital medicine in particular - the treadmill never stops. That doesn't mean you don't help patients any more. You are right that someone else would do it if you weren't there, but that's true of virtually every doctor; almost no-one is irreplaceable (I certainly am not!) but that doesn't mean that what you do has no value.

Your colleagues and seniors obviously have a higher opinion of your skills and abilities than you do, to the extent where I wonder if your own estimation is due to modesty alone or an element of anxiety/depression? Are your doubts about medicine because you doubt your own ability to do it well or are afraid of harming someone, or because you don't enjoy the job at its core any more? Have you found a specialty where you feel more comfortable than others?

Although your hospital doesn't have a clinical psychologist, your educational supervisor should be able to help you access support if you're having serious doubts. The BMA may also be able to help, so give them a call if you're a member. Good luck!
Reply 5
Google imposter syndrome. I'm one of the poster children, as are most medics at some point or other.

You're definitely not alone.
Reply 6
Original post by belis
I don't think it's particularly uncommon to have those sort of worries. Particularly around FY2 when you need to start making choices about your long term career plans. FY2 is a strange time. You are not exactly brand new anymore, there is an expectation that you will take on more responsibility and you can find yourself on an old SHO rota with people who can have up to 3 years more experience than you. We have FY2 on our rota and there is little distinction when on call of what is expected from them and a CT3.

You are probably right that those critical care nurses know more than you. Put it in perspective though. They may have worked on that unit for 20 years. They may have done masters or PhD in critical care. They should know more than an FY2 rotating through the specialty for 4 months. You bring different set of skills to the table but you do not have the experience. There is a certain dynamics within ITU and nurses can be a bit possessive and protective of 'their' patient. They spend 12 hours with them providing 1:1 care. They are a bit worried that an inexperienced doctor is going to mess things up and either create work for them or harm the patient. I was very much at receiving end of that as my first FY1 job was in ITU. I did make a lot of mess (think art lines and pristine white sheets) and made a few stupid mistakes so their worries were perfectly justified. I never thought it meant that I was a bad doctor, just inexperienced.

Are those doubts just centered around work or is it part of wider confidence and self esteem issues? It seems that you get positive feedback from patients and colleagues but you find it hard to believe for some reason.


Thank you, Belis. You're so right! I think I put too much expectations on myself as an F1! What grade are you now if you don't mind me asking? How are you finding the job now? I know the art line + white sheet gone red all too well I'm afraid!! Re the question about doubts; Because I base myself on how I am at work to my whole person, if I am having a bad day at work I am a bad person and vice versa. I don't know. I wish I could just take a compliment and believe it and not make an excuse for it. How did you find the transition from f2 to CT1? That's what I think I may find hardest because I can't provide the excuse that I'm in the foundation programme (as an F2 I still think I can do this slightly).
Reply 7
Original post by Helenia
It's very easy to feel like that in hospital medicine in particular - the treadmill never stops. That doesn't mean you don't help patients any more. You are right that someone else would do it if you weren't there, but that's true of virtually every doctor; almost no-one is irreplaceable (I certainly am not!) but that doesn't mean that what you do has no value.

Your colleagues and seniors obviously have a higher opinion of your skills and abilities than you do, to the extent where I wonder if your own estimation is due to modesty alone or an element of anxiety/depression? Are your doubts about medicine because you doubt your own ability to do it well or are afraid of harming someone, or because you don't enjoy the job at its core any more? Have you found a specialty where you feel more comfortable than others?

Although your hospital doesn't have a clinical psychologist, your educational supervisor should be able to help you access support if you're having serious doubts. The BMA may also be able to help, so give them a call if you're a member. Good luck!


Thank you, Helenia. You and Belis have really cheered me up. I think I needed to say it anonymously because if I spoke to a friend they may just reassure me because they know me and want to be kind. I did suffer from depression but I haven't done much about it other than see the psychologist which really helped, wish I could go back to her but she's too far away. I see some patients which I really warm to and I love when they say to me "you have really helped me," "I'll come back to you," or when someone tells you something they say they have never told anyone (GP really) so probably my answer is that I still like some aspects of the job. SO I suppose the only problem is the fear of harming someone or my own ability left. How do you tackle any thoughts or feelings like this (if you do)?Thank you for the advice to you both.
Reply 8
Original post by Sarky
Google imposter syndrome. I'm one of the poster children, as are most medics at some point or other.

You're definitely not alone.


WOW! That sorta hit the nail on the head with me, that is fascinating, can't believe I've done psychiatry and not read about that.

Do you think you really are one of them?
Reply 9
Original post by bluewhale1234
Thank you, Belis. You're so right! I think I put too much expectations on myself as an F1! What grade are you now if you don't mind me asking? How are you finding the job now? I know the art line + white sheet gone red all too well I'm afraid!! Re the question about doubts; Because I base myself on how I am at work to my whole person, if I am having a bad day at work I am a bad person and vice versa. I don't know. I wish I could just take a compliment and believe it and not make an excuse for it. How did you find the transition from f2 to CT1? That's what I think I may find hardest because I can't provide the excuse that I'm in the foundation programme (as an F2 I still think I can do this slightly).


I'm a CT2. I enjoy work now more than I did during foundation. I think it's a combination of being more confident and working in a specialty of my choice. My last job in FY2 was extremely stressful. By contrast I was very well supported in my first psychiatric rotation. In many ways I have found being a CT1 easier than being FY2.

It may help to try and distance yourself from your work a bit. Being a doctor is important part of your identity but there is more to you as a person than your job.
Reply 10
Original post by bluewhale1234
WOW! That sorta hit the nail on the head with me, that is fascinating, can't believe I've done psychiatry and not read about that.

Do you think you really are one of them?


Yes definitely.

Took a year out after F2 partly because I didn't know what I wanted to do, partly because I believed i'd be rubbish whatever I did and I wanted to delay the humiliation.

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