I'm bisexual but in a happy relationship, should i tell anyone? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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I'm female and I've come to the conclusion that i'm definitely bisexual. However, I've never had a sexual experience with a female, only male. I'm in a very loving and secure relationship with my boyfriend of 1.5 years and do not want that to change. I love him and feel he could even be 'the one'.

So even though I am sometimes sexually attracted to women, I probably won't ever have a sexual experience with one. And i'm ok with that because I love my boyfriend and can't imagine ever being with anyone else, regardless of gender. So, if i'm not going to act on my bisexuality, does anyone need to know? Does my boyfriend need to know?

Its not that i'm ashamed or anything, I have nothing against my own feelings or anybody elses sexual orientation. I just don't know how other people would react. I also don't want my boyfriend to think I don't want to be with him any more, because I really do. I don't want to cause any problems in our relationship. On the other hand, I don't want to keep any secrets from him. What should I do?
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chair123
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hey i think you should tell your bf since it's good that you don't wanna keep any thing from him and also, you've nothing to be ashamed of as well. just think of fergie - she's bisexual as well! good luck.
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Starrydog
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I think you should probably tell him, if you have that solid relationship of trust I don't see why he'd mind and you don't want it to play on your mind, also if left and discovered he may be hurt or confuse that he wasn't trusted.

I'm not bisexual but I am probably somewhere near that line, my boyfriend of a year knows and doesn't mind at all, I don't think it changes anything really. As for telling other people, I don't see why that's necessary unless you particualrly wanted to
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Orthonym
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Do you think you could be bi-curious rather than bi-sexual? If you definitely are bi-sexual and you want to explore that, then tell your boyfriend exactly what you're feeling and see what he says. In the end though, If you think you and your boyfriend could be together for years and years, it doesn't really matter whether you explore the side of you that likes girls, because you would be unlikely to have a relationship with a girl.

So if you definitely want to stay with your boyfriend, maybe wait for a while and see if you stop feeling the need to explore this area of your sexuality. It's actually quite similar to a feeling of wanting to be single and do more things before you settle down, which is a feeling that might pass. If it keeps niggling at you though, maybe you aren't ready to settle for life right yet, and you just want to explore more first.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Orthonym)
Do you think you could be bi-curious rather than bi-sexual? If you definitely are bi-sexual and you want to explore that, then tell your boyfriend exactly what you're feeling and see what he says. In the end though, If you think you and your boyfriend could be together for years and years, it doesn't really matter whether you explore the side of you that likes girls, because you would be unlikely to have a relationship with a girl.

So if you definitely want to stay with your boyfriend, maybe wait for a while and see if you stop feeling the need to explore this area of your sexuality. It's actually quite similar to a feeling of wanting to be single and do more things before you settle down, which is a feeling that might pass. If it keeps niggling at you though, maybe you aren't ready to settle for life right yet, and you just want to explore more first.
I don't want to pursue it though. This isn't about pursuit. Its about telling my boyfriend for the sake of telling him/not telling him and keeping it secret. No I definitely am sexually attracted to women- I do not see a difference between so-called bi-curious and bi-sexual. I'm also definitely sexually attracted to men
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Starrydog)
I think you should probably tell him, if you have that solid relationship of trust I don't see why he'd mind and you don't want it to play on your mind, also if left and discovered he may be hurt or confuse that he wasn't trusted.

I'm not bisexual but I am probably somewhere near that line, my boyfriend of a year knows and doesn't mind at all, I don't think it changes anything really. As for telling other people, I don't see why that's necessary unless you particualrly wanted to
I don't want to keep It from him, but at the same time i'm scared to tell him. If I found out he was bisexual i'd be terrified he'd go off with some guy because he wanted to experiment and know what its like.

I know for a fact that I will not pursue my interest in women because I love him more than anything. I would never do anything to compromise our relationship. But he might not see it that way- he might think i'm telling him because I want to be with a woman, which is not the case at all.
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Orthonym
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You could always show him this post, because it gets across what you're really feeling.
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LolaLowe
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm female and I've come to the conclusion that i'm definitely bisexual. However, I've never had a sexual experience with a female, only male. I'm in a very loving and secure relationship with my boyfriend of 1.5 years and do not want that to change. I love him and feel he could even be 'the one'.

So even though I am sometimes sexually attracted to women, I probably won't ever have a sexual experience with one. And i'm ok with that because I love my boyfriend and can't imagine ever being with anyone else, regardless of gender. So, if i'm not going to act on my bisexuality, does anyone need to know? Does my boyfriend need to know?

Its not that i'm ashamed or anything, I have nothing against my own feelings or anybody elses sexual orientation. I just don't know how other people would react. I also don't want my boyfriend to think I don't want to be with him any more, because I really do. I don't want to cause any problems in our relationship. On the other hand, I don't want to keep any secrets from him. What should I do?
I can't see any benefit in bringing this up at all.

You could potentially be with someone quite different to your bf if you were no longer with him, thats all this is. In the same way that I could potentially be with someone of a different race if I was not in the relationship I am in now....I dont feel the need to say to my partner that if we were not together I might get with someone <insert characteristic that he doesnt have>.

I dont think its a 'secret' you are keeping, and i dont see that bringing it up is going to help anyone, but it does have the potential to spoil things if it makes him insecure.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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Being honest, I don't see why people insist on making such a big deal about sexuality. You're with your partner. No matter who else you may or may not be attracted to, the fact that the two of you are together should be more than enough to keep you both happy if you trust each other.

I know a lot of people who identify as being gay or bisexual feel the need to "come out", but I really don't like the fact that we have to put a label on things. We're attracted to who we're attracted to, and I don't think there's any need to state that you might date a girl in the future while you're with a guy.
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