The Student Room Group

Please help me in constant emotional agony

Ok so life went really downhill for me from about 15/16. I was bullied in two different schools, and my idiotic self let them really get to me that I developed severe depression. The depression got so bad that I had to drop out of sixth form early and take a year out.

Now I'm re-doing year 12 and life is still awful. I'm in a new school and despite working so hard I'm getting crap marks on essays and in my tests. I found my mocks so difficult also. I really want to do well in my academics and study Law at a very good uni so this is really stressing me out. I was doing well in these subjects at AS last year before I dropped out but somehow in this new school I'm doing badly in them.

The school are concerned and contacted my very strict parents. My parents pretty much hate me. They were really unsupportive of my depression and always call me selfish, spoiled, psycho etc. The thing is they're wealthy and everything I want they buy for me they also pay high fees for my education which puts even more stress on me. They always blame for causing them so much stress but the weird thing is I have done my best to hide my problems from them so they don't get stressed it's only when the school contacts them they find out about my issues.

I've been getting weekly counselling but my anxiety is still pretty bad. I'm also constantly every single second immensely stressed and in a very low mood. Keep feeling guilty and abnormal for being a 17 y/o girl with all these issues and for causing so much stress for my parents.

I'm honestly pretty much at the lowest of the low. All my friends are going off to uni this September and I'm still here an absolute emotional wreck, a huge mess & failing in school when I used to be a very high achiever & making my parents lives hell.

Honestly I'm feeling so low right now I don't even know what to do. I just can't take it!



Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 1
hey, your situation is just like mine. I got 7 A*s and 3 As in GCSE and got AAA in january exams in my first year of college, then due to stress, lack of sleep and general problems in life i couldnt cope.. my grades dropped because i stopped trying...thankfully my january grades saved me and i ended up with low(1 mark in) ABBC. I m in my second year now and im not coping..ive got anxiety and stress level is off the roof always. Im not happy with myself and i hate sleeping so i go to bed at 2-4 am so i dont get enough sleep. My school talked to me and they told me ive got 4 months left of college so i should work hard since second chances are rare...they were so kind:'(
im scared to go see a doctor in case they diagnose me with medicine and it goes on my record...because i am applying for a science degree they require a DBS check to check im not 'insane' i dont want my mental state to affect my future aspects.
Ive also been diagnosed dyslexic in year 11 but didnt take extra time because i didnt want it on my record because i wanted to be a doctor and i was afraid medicals schools would prefer non dyslexic candidates.
because of my GCSE grades they put me in ox-bridge group but i didnt want to go to oxford or cambridge. i didnt even want to be a doctor when i started college- i didnt know what i want. i still dont know...my grades are slipping and im scared im never going to get out of this stage.

I need help as much as you. Im not sure how to help you other than let you know that theres people like you out there.Im going to try to accept myself for who i am, even if that is just a anxious, stressed girl. feel free to PM if you want.
xx

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