Seemingly impossible to find a significant other
I'm not really expecting any responses, maybe this could spark a conversation, just wanted to vent this out really.
I seem to have this problem where whenever I meet a guy, we have amazing conversations for like 6 months, meet in between and stuff, then suddenly they just completely cut-off, or the conversation keeps going and myself or the other person is just trying desperately to keep conversations alive. It seems trivial and childish, but it's annoying when I meet such great matches, but they're the type who just aren't into having an SO because of religion, family interests, etc. Or they just see me as a friend, OR they think I'm not interested and don't try their chances. Now, I know in this modern age as an independent young woman, I should make the first move if I want to, but the thing is, I don't want to put a label on the relationship, I like to gradually go into a nice equal, mutual understanding of a more romantic relationship. (That's too much to ask, isn't it?)
It doesn't help that I have the tendency to be instantly unattracted to someone if I speak to them all day. that's when I start to get a little cold in the way i approach them, possibly because at the back of my mind, I don't want them fancying me because I honestly think I'm not good enough (boohoo, right?), not good enough as in - I have commitment issues, I can't dedicate a majority of my time to one person, I'd get all pissed off and will want to go to a rave or something. I'd be a terrible girlfriend pretty much. And even though i know that I don't know anything about relationships, for some reason I have it engrained into my mind that I do know a lot about relationships and that I'm bad at them.
I just want someone who I can cuddle with and watch 60s movies, play league of legends, have animalistic sex and read with. With the occasional discussion of history and science, none of this lovey dovey **** (yet I want cuddles, my ****ing brain hurts). Is that too much to ask? I think it is and maybe a little pretentious.
TL;DR? I think I'm always being friend zoned, or am I friend zoning? I want a no strings attached, with emotions kind of relationship and my brain hurts from my own nonsense thinking.
I seem to have this problem where whenever I meet a guy, we have amazing conversations for like 6 months, meet in between and stuff, then suddenly they just completely cut-off, or the conversation keeps going and myself or the other person is just trying desperately to keep conversations alive. It seems trivial and childish, but it's annoying when I meet such great matches, but they're the type who just aren't into having an SO because of religion, family interests, etc. Or they just see me as a friend, OR they think I'm not interested and don't try their chances. Now, I know in this modern age as an independent young woman, I should make the first move if I want to, but the thing is, I don't want to put a label on the relationship, I like to gradually go into a nice equal, mutual understanding of a more romantic relationship. (That's too much to ask, isn't it?)
It doesn't help that I have the tendency to be instantly unattracted to someone if I speak to them all day. that's when I start to get a little cold in the way i approach them, possibly because at the back of my mind, I don't want them fancying me because I honestly think I'm not good enough (boohoo, right?), not good enough as in - I have commitment issues, I can't dedicate a majority of my time to one person, I'd get all pissed off and will want to go to a rave or something. I'd be a terrible girlfriend pretty much. And even though i know that I don't know anything about relationships, for some reason I have it engrained into my mind that I do know a lot about relationships and that I'm bad at them.
I just want someone who I can cuddle with and watch 60s movies, play league of legends, have animalistic sex and read with. With the occasional discussion of history and science, none of this lovey dovey **** (yet I want cuddles, my ****ing brain hurts). Is that too much to ask? I think it is and maybe a little pretentious.
TL;DR? I think I'm always being friend zoned, or am I friend zoning? I want a no strings attached, with emotions kind of relationship and my brain hurts from my own nonsense thinking.
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Well, I'm no significant other, but I do have a significant love for League of Legends, incase you want to play.
omg this could literally be me writing this. Thanks for the post!
Why do you need a significant other? Be happy
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Londongirl14
omg this could literally be me writing this. Thanks for the post!
haha i'm happy to hear someone understands
Original post by IAmABaws
ah yes, this is someone i forgot to mention - i don't really care if i have one or not, but it's more like I feel like "the ones" not out there, not that i think that there is one person you should ultimately be with, but i also don't think i that i should just go with anyone just because.
Original post by Foo.mp3
I had this for a few years, and in a way it kinda remains, it's part of why I'm a commitment phobe with most wenches, but then I have my excuses (principally my health)
No it's not too much to ask, as long as you're not overly demanding in each realm. I'm sure there are young lads out there with similar penchants
My brain is starting to hurt from all your nonsense thinking too, haha! You don't appear to want 'no strings', what you want is a slow, steady build, with room for emotional dynamics e.g. don't give a **** days
followed by 'hold me' 
days. It's a tall order but not impossible/all that rare in younglings
No it's not too much to ask, as long as you're not overly demanding in each realm. I'm sure there are young lads out there with similar penchants
My brain is starting to hurt from all your nonsense thinking too, haha! You don't appear to want 'no strings', what you want is a slow, steady build, with room for emotional dynamics e.g. don't give a **** days
followed by 'hold me' days. It's a tall order but not impossible/all that rare in younglingsI'm glad to hear your honesty really, I wish i had excuses, but i don't have any, i lead a pretty easy going life.
Original post by Lord Frieza
Well, I'm no significant other, but I do have a significant love for League of Legends, incase you want to play.
We shall play if we both happen to be online at the same time, pm me your summoner's name
Original post by Anonymous
haha i'm happy to hear someone understands
ah yes, this is someone i forgot to mention - i don't really care if i have one or not, but it's more like I feel like "the ones" not out there, not that i think that there is one person you should ultimately be with, but i also don't think i that i should just go with anyone just because.
I'm glad to hear your honesty really, I wish i had excuses, but i don't have any, i lead a pretty easy going life.
We shall play if we both happen to be online at the same time, pm me your summoner's name
ah yes, this is someone i forgot to mention - i don't really care if i have one or not, but it's more like I feel like "the ones" not out there, not that i think that there is one person you should ultimately be with, but i also don't think i that i should just go with anyone just because.
I'm glad to hear your honesty really, I wish i had excuses, but i don't have any, i lead a pretty easy going life.
We shall play if we both happen to be online at the same time, pm me your summoner's name
edit: just add me: Kookimik i forgot i was in anonymous
Original post by Foo.mp3
You're young (I assume), enough of an excuse really.. plus you're female (emotionally affected/risk averse/wary of having your heart broken), another excuse 
I am young.. and female. But I'm definitely not afraid of having my heart broken
Original post by Foo.mp3
How curious, are you quite sure about that? Usually resigning oneself to the belief that one is 'bad at relationships' involves a degree of fear of consequences of failing in a relationship, to include messy break ups (not limited to pain for the other party) 
I'm sure, if anything i WANT to go through a messy break up just because i think it's a passage of life, and i want to live a full one. i'm bad at relationships because i feel sorry for the other person having to put up with my ridiculousness, i'd be lovely dovey one minute, but if I'm busy, i can completely ignore someone.
Whats your league of legends name :P? Come pm me, lets play ;D
There was literally JUST another thread like this 10 minutes ago.
I think you got most guy's attention at 'have animalistic sex' tbh.
I think you got most guy's attention at 'have animalistic sex' tbh.
Original post by a chinese loser
Whats your league of legends name :P? Come pm me, lets play ;D
kookimik
Original post by Tom_green_day
There was literally JUST another thread like this 10 minutes ago.
I think you got most guy's attention at 'have animalistic sex' tbh.
I think you got most guy's attention at 'have animalistic sex' tbh.
I wrote this last night because i just really wanted to get it out there. Ahaha i'm just being honest, oh the joys of anon
Original post by Anonymous
I wrote this last night because i just really wanted to get it out there. Ahaha i'm just being honest, oh the joys of anon
I wrote this last night because i just really wanted to get it out there. Ahaha i'm just being honest, oh the joys of anon
Don't worry there are 2 types of lonely people on this website- those who make threads about it, and those who comment on those threads!
Original post by Anonymous
kookimik
I wrote this last night because i just really wanted to get it out there. Ahaha i'm just being honest, oh the joys of anon
I wrote this last night because i just really wanted to get it out there. Ahaha i'm just being honest, oh the joys of anon
added you
.and to give my opinion about your thread, ummm.. friends with benefits happen a lot, especially when you get to 18+. Are you under 18 ;o? If you are, I wouldnt worry about relationships too much :3
Maybe you don't give straight forward signals? Or they feel that you have friendzoned them :3? I guess the only thing you can do is look at your previous actions and think if they could of possibly got you in the friendzone.
Sometimes you don't want to be too friendly, you need to flirt too, otherwise you will be seen as a friend.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Foo.mp3
(particularly younger, more vulnerable, guys - that is those who don't have some BDSM dominatrix/masochism thing!)
(particularly younger, more vulnerable, guys - that is those who don't have some BDSM dominatrix/masochism thing!)
if i ever found someone into that stuff, i'd snag him away tbh, i see it as a way as being true to yourself, if i brought up bdsm etc etc to any guy i know they'd instantly be grossed out (i'm sure i've said it in the past anyway)
Original post by Foo.mp3
A girl of 22, whom I've recently become close to, has told me that she fears me (more than her parents). I think for the type of girl we're talking about a little fear (sans abuse) can actually be a healthy thing. Feminists will go blue in the face but many girls need (this can include wanting, consciously or otherwise), someone who will give them the perfect mix of quasi-'unconditional', soft, firm, and tough love ~ kind of like a father figure, only one they want to jump on
A girl of 22, whom I've recently become close to, has told me that she fears me (more than her parents). I think for the type of girl we're talking about a little fear (sans abuse) can actually be a healthy thing. Feminists will go blue in the face but many girls need (this can include wanting, consciously or otherwise), someone who will give them the perfect mix of quasi-'unconditional', soft, firm, and tough love ~ kind of like a father figure, only one they want to jump on
I don't see why a feminist would go blue in the face - it's about equality and I don't want to be looked at as some little innocent animal who should be allowed dominance where someone sees it right. I personally wouldn't fear my partner, i would respect them for not being afraid of who they are and if they're a little on the rough side every now and then, well i think i'd be more turned om than afraid. Of course, I know nothing about your 'friend' but that's just my view, it's not necessarily 'fear' that keeps it healthy, but that sense of truth more or less.
Original post by Foo.mp3
As for younger, less 'together'/bold, guys, whom a girl such as yourself doesn't fear at all, and may not respect all that much but instead see as a relative equal/inferior, and ostensive play mate, or 'entertainer', well.. you're not wrong to feel sorry for that type, in anticipation - should you get involved with one, and to a degree they have my sympathy too (even if it is the case that they tend to need to go through such 'trial by fire' in order to become more composed/contained individuals themselves, let alone to learn to man up a bit)
As for younger, less 'together'/bold, guys, whom a girl such as yourself doesn't fear at all, and may not respect all that much but instead see as a relative equal/inferior, and ostensive play mate, or 'entertainer', well.. you're not wrong to feel sorry for that type, in anticipation - should you get involved with one, and to a degree they have my sympathy too (even if it is the case that they tend to need to go through such 'trial by fire' in order to become more composed/contained individuals themselves, let alone to learn to man up a bit)
That's right! I don't respect most guys my age and admittedly i do see them as inferior. I'm probably just meeting the wrong ones or just not paying enough attention. It's rare to find someone who intrigues me
My final verdict: Older men.
Original post by a chinese loser
added you .
and to give my opinion about your thread, ummm.. friends with benefits happen a lot, especially when you get to 18+. Are you under 18 ;o? If you are, I wouldnt worry about relationships too much :3
Maybe you don't give straight forward signals? Or they feel that you have friendzoned them :3? I guess the only thing you can do is look at your previous actions and think if they could of possibly got you in the friendzone.
Sometimes you don't want to be too friendly, you need to flirt too, otherwise you will be seen as a friend.
.and to give my opinion about your thread, ummm.. friends with benefits happen a lot, especially when you get to 18+. Are you under 18 ;o? If you are, I wouldnt worry about relationships too much :3
Maybe you don't give straight forward signals? Or they feel that you have friendzoned them :3? I guess the only thing you can do is look at your previous actions and think if they could of possibly got you in the friendzone.
Sometimes you don't want to be too friendly, you need to flirt too, otherwise you will be seen as a friend.
I'm 17, this thread wasn't really me saying how distraught I am about never being able to find a boyfriend ahaha I don't even look really, it's just I had a thought that i don't think i'll find anyone that would, say... tickle my fancy, and flirting is so boring!. And are you serious, diamond IV!? You've motivated me to play ranked more - cheers buddy
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17, this thread wasn't really me saying how distraught I am about never being able to find a boyfriend ahaha I don't even look really, it's just I had a thought that i don't think i'll find anyone that would, say... tickle my fancy, and flirting is so boring!. And are you serious, diamond IV!? You've motivated me to play ranked more - cheers buddy
Yea I understand, but you don't really need to think about it, you are only 17
. If you plan to go uni you will most definitely find some1 though.I think the flirty part is fun at an early age. When you get older, you don't want that crap anymore lol, the mind games get boring.
haha, i didnt want to type my username just incase friends irl notice me
, i just go on tsr to mess around . Diamond is nothing impressive - Diamond1 50lp+ is where I consider players to be good. And its all about learning from your mistakes and just "thinking" logically , If you do this, you can easily get platinum Original post by Anonymous
I have commitment issues
I have commitment issues
That would be worrying to some decent guys looking for a relationship. If you're all friendly with a guy one minute, then the next you're giving him the cold shoulder, then he's simply going to get frustrated and confused. Nothing has to be complicated
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