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Long distance and internet relationships
Am I living in fantasy land to assume these can ever work? Can they, any success stories? Or is it idealistic, is it a case of thinking the grass is greener and wanting the inaccessable? Are you best off looking for a more practical, down to earth realtionship in your hometown, even if it aint all that special?
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Obviously they do work for some people so I'm not going to infringe my views onto other people as a general rule.
However I don't think I would like to be in either, unless I'd already met and had a relationship with the person and they had to move away.
On the internet you can be totally different to how you are in real life and so you get a totally disproportianate view of how you would get along with a person face to face. That said, the internet is a good way to get to know people and be more comfortable with them when you're together.
However I don't think I would like to be in either, unless I'd already met and had a relationship with the person and they had to move away.
On the internet you can be totally different to how you are in real life and so you get a totally disproportianate view of how you would get along with a person face to face. That said, the internet is a good way to get to know people and be more comfortable with them when you're together.
Profesh
I'll get back to you come September.
Why are you in the process of trying one?
Laika
On the internet you can be totally different to how you are in real life
On the internet you can be totally different to how you are in real life
Exactly. I'm even more boring in reality
Failed for me. 
She got sick of me not seeing her, and found a new guy.
I met her on TSR, actually. I still kick myself for letting it die now. Sigh.
At least we still send the odd message from time to time.
I met her on TSR, actually. I still kick myself for letting it die now. Sigh.
At least we still send the odd message from time to time.
It can work, but I think it only really works when you already knew the person/had a relationship with that person and they'd simply moved away, or gone to uni.
As for internet, it could work, but personally I don't think they do. You don't know what they're like in real life, you don't know any of their habits, any of their quirks, you won't know just how to read their facial expressions to tell their moods, you don't know what tone of voice they usually use. You know, the details. You won't know any of the details. When you finally, say, marry the person (I'm assuming that's the whole point of relationships, or at least it's where you wanna lead up to eventually) - say you marry them - how would you know when they're lying to you? I know my bf's lying by looking at his face, by seeing a nod of the head; I know he's annoyed by seeing the way he puts his lips. He knows I don't understand something when I have a certain way of "nod and smile". How can you know any of these details without being with them in person? And the little quirks that only you know which makes you close to them - like I know my bf rests his chin on his hand when he reads and he highlights text as he reads. He knows I love hugs. Simple details that means you really *know* someone - you can't tell from online. Also from online, you only know how they treat you - you don't see how they actually treat other people. Nor do you know their behaviour cus when it's online, it's all talk - what else can you possibly do online? There's no real action expressed from online and it's not generally expected, so you don't really know if it's all talk or if that's really how they'd treat you.
All in all, you can't know someone for who they really are in all walks of life if your main or sole contact is from online. I'm bubbly and crazy and do all sorts of stupid things just for a laugh and make myself look a fool - I don't and can't do that online. And also, you may be able to talk to someone comfortably on msn, but have nothing to say in person. I've had that with someone on TSR - got loads to say on msn, but once on the phone, conversation is hard to come by. Not sure why. Two friends from TSR - when I met them on TSR I had nothing to say to them. Then I met them at uni - now both of them are my friends and one of whom is my best friend at uni and I'm sharing a house with her next year.
So you see, online and real life are really very very different. I've had an online relationship before too - you simply don't realise you got nothing to talk about til you meet in person, cus when you're online, you don't really get many awkward silences - you just flirt. But in person, it's not so easy and it shows things for what they are, more.
As for internet, it could work, but personally I don't think they do. You don't know what they're like in real life, you don't know any of their habits, any of their quirks, you won't know just how to read their facial expressions to tell their moods, you don't know what tone of voice they usually use. You know, the details. You won't know any of the details. When you finally, say, marry the person (I'm assuming that's the whole point of relationships, or at least it's where you wanna lead up to eventually) - say you marry them - how would you know when they're lying to you? I know my bf's lying by looking at his face, by seeing a nod of the head; I know he's annoyed by seeing the way he puts his lips. He knows I don't understand something when I have a certain way of "nod and smile". How can you know any of these details without being with them in person? And the little quirks that only you know which makes you close to them - like I know my bf rests his chin on his hand when he reads and he highlights text as he reads. He knows I love hugs. Simple details that means you really *know* someone - you can't tell from online. Also from online, you only know how they treat you - you don't see how they actually treat other people. Nor do you know their behaviour cus when it's online, it's all talk - what else can you possibly do online? There's no real action expressed from online and it's not generally expected, so you don't really know if it's all talk or if that's really how they'd treat you.
All in all, you can't know someone for who they really are in all walks of life if your main or sole contact is from online. I'm bubbly and crazy and do all sorts of stupid things just for a laugh and make myself look a fool - I don't and can't do that online. And also, you may be able to talk to someone comfortably on msn, but have nothing to say in person. I've had that with someone on TSR - got loads to say on msn, but once on the phone, conversation is hard to come by. Not sure why. Two friends from TSR - when I met them on TSR I had nothing to say to them. Then I met them at uni - now both of them are my friends and one of whom is my best friend at uni and I'm sharing a house with her next year.
So you see, online and real life are really very very different. I've had an online relationship before too - you simply don't realise you got nothing to talk about til you meet in person, cus when you're online, you don't really get many awkward silences - you just flirt. But in person, it's not so easy and it shows things for what they are, more.
From my perspective they are an absolute no no. Two weeks ago I found out my boyfriend of a year (whom I'd met on the internet) had been leading a total double life and had been seeing a girl he'd been with for two years previous to when I met him! Now not to blow my own trumpet but I'm not a stupid girl, but meeting on the internet (although once we'd met for the first time we got rid of email etc and just phoned as per any other couple) allowed him to hide whatever he wanted to hide and the small distance between us made it ideal for him to lead this double life to his advantage. Never again - either internet OR distance if i can help it!
I tried to have an LDR with someone off TSR, and although we met and did stuff on a couple of occasions, talked on the phone every night etc. It just didnt work out.
Usually they are just too hard to keep going, and fall apart after you get over the initial period, from my experiance, and others that I know
Usually they are just too hard to keep going, and fall apart after you get over the initial period, from my experiance, and others that I know
Posting annon because I think she checks this, might not want me telling everyone about us lol.
It depends what type of internet relationship is, mines working really well at the moment. We see each other every weekend, I usually do the travelling but its sometimes the other way round. Its around a 2hour journey, and costs about £20 in train/bus fares to get there.
Its hard, im not gonna lie, I mean, we'd spoken for a LONG time before we did anything about how we felt for each other, we didn't force it, it just kinda happened. Its hard to say good bye but you have to
. Im moving to uni in September to Nottingham which is only about 15 miles away from her house, so obviously its gonna get alot better then.
We have plans to move out in my second year of uni together, in a place inbetween nottignahm and where she works.
The difference with how we met was that it was actually on voice chat over the internet, not typing. I'd say...that makes all the difference, we'd spoken for every night, several hours a night, on voice chat together before we met. We only met up as friends too, and I had another friend with me and we met when her parents where there so we did it safely lol.
Just give it a whirl - im happier than i've ever been, it feels like i've known her all my life. I may sound naive but I know im in Love...LDR can work, as long as your both willing to the put the effort in. You need to trust each other though, thats not a problem WHATSOEVER with my girlfriend, there is an incredible amount of trust, so it never even crosses my mind.
So yeah, its hard...but its worth it.
Good luck
It depends what type of internet relationship is, mines working really well at the moment. We see each other every weekend, I usually do the travelling but its sometimes the other way round. Its around a 2hour journey, and costs about £20 in train/bus fares to get there.
Its hard, im not gonna lie, I mean, we'd spoken for a LONG time before we did anything about how we felt for each other, we didn't force it, it just kinda happened. Its hard to say good bye but you have to
. Im moving to uni in September to Nottingham which is only about 15 miles away from her house, so obviously its gonna get alot better then.We have plans to move out in my second year of uni together, in a place inbetween nottignahm and where she works.
The difference with how we met was that it was actually on voice chat over the internet, not typing. I'd say...that makes all the difference, we'd spoken for every night, several hours a night, on voice chat together before we met. We only met up as friends too, and I had another friend with me and we met when her parents where there so we did it safely lol.
Just give it a whirl - im happier than i've ever been, it feels like i've known her all my life. I may sound naive but I know im in Love...LDR can work, as long as your both willing to the put the effort in. You need to trust each other though, thats not a problem WHATSOEVER with my girlfriend, there is an incredible amount of trust, so it never even crosses my mind.
So yeah, its hard...but its worth it
.Good luck
I've never had an internet relationship, but I've had a LDR with my boyfriend for a year, ever since he left university. He lives in Carlisle and I live in St Albans, so we are at opposite ends of the country, but our relationship is stronger than ever! We have no issues of trust whatsoever; I know I can trust him absolutely and he knows the same about me. If your relationship is strong already then a LDR should present no problems in that area at all. I have friends who have maintained a relationship across the Atlantic for the past year and a half. If they can do it then anyone else can!
LDRs do work. I got with my boyfriend on results day last year and he went off to uni for his first year exactly a month later. We're still together now - I went up to visit him about once every 2 months and he came home about every 3 weeks. I won;t say that it was entirely easy but it was rewarding the fact that it has worked!
I think it completely depends on your personality. I managed fine when my ex-boyfriend went to university and we were only seeing each other every two weeks. Well, I didn't manage 'fine', it was hard a lot of the time and at first I really hated it. But I made the most of what we had, and it gave me the opportunity to concentrate more on school stuff and seeing friends without having to worry about going to see him all the time, or worrying about whether I was seeing him enough because there wasn't any other way. However, I don't think he managed quite so well. Hence the now 'ex'. He needed a lot less space than I do, and needed a lot more contact, I'm probably more independent. Plus he changed at university, completely. His personality reverted back to how it had been before we had started going out, and it ended up that after a year of it all, he couldn't cope any more. Something wasn't right for him, and so it ended. I think his being at university though, rather than it just being a long distance relationship, may have had a lot to do with that. People change a lot at university, whereas if it's just you live on other sides of the country then you're less likely to do so. Maybe?
That said, I'd think twice about having a long-distance relationship again. Much as I was mostly OK with it, I did miss being able to go and have a hug whenever I felt sad, or if I just wanted to see him I couldn't just walk to his house to speak. Everything had to be planned, and when he was at home I had to be careful about what I did so I spent enough time with him. I didn't mind too much at the time, but ultimately you could say it was a bit of an inconvenience and something you don't have to think about if you're constantly together. Ultimately you've both got to be comfortable with the idea, and be independent people or it just won't work.
Internet relationships, I don't think I could do. I mean, I think everyone comes across so differently over MSN, even if just an extension of their personality (for example, I'm quite shy with new people in real life but I can chat away on MSN like anything. Quite sad really...). Plus the physical aspect of a relationship is important. I mean, fair enough if you meet someone over MSN, meet up with them a few times and then decide to get together and it evolves into a proper relationship from that- I know of people who are planning on marriage and have a kid after meeting on an Internet forum. But people who talk over MSN and phone each other every now and then, and who never really see each other, I don't think I could call that a relationship myself. Like I said, you're not necessarily getting to know the 'real' person, and you're missing out on the whole physical side which is one of the things which bridges the gap between best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend IMO.
That said, I'd think twice about having a long-distance relationship again. Much as I was mostly OK with it, I did miss being able to go and have a hug whenever I felt sad, or if I just wanted to see him I couldn't just walk to his house to speak. Everything had to be planned, and when he was at home I had to be careful about what I did so I spent enough time with him. I didn't mind too much at the time, but ultimately you could say it was a bit of an inconvenience and something you don't have to think about if you're constantly together. Ultimately you've both got to be comfortable with the idea, and be independent people or it just won't work.
Internet relationships, I don't think I could do. I mean, I think everyone comes across so differently over MSN, even if just an extension of their personality (for example, I'm quite shy with new people in real life but I can chat away on MSN like anything. Quite sad really...). Plus the physical aspect of a relationship is important. I mean, fair enough if you meet someone over MSN, meet up with them a few times and then decide to get together and it evolves into a proper relationship from that- I know of people who are planning on marriage and have a kid after meeting on an Internet forum. But people who talk over MSN and phone each other every now and then, and who never really see each other, I don't think I could call that a relationship myself. Like I said, you're not necessarily getting to know the 'real' person, and you're missing out on the whole physical side which is one of the things which bridges the gap between best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend IMO.
It depends what you meet over really, how long you've talked, how much interest you have in one another and if you have common interests in everyday life.
I met Wzz on TSR. We chatted for nearly a year on the phone, MSN and on here. Then we met up. We started 'going out' with each other straight away, fell in love and now we're gradually getting closer to our wedding date. Only in the last 10 months has it not been a LDR.
It can happen, it doesn't always work out, but it can.
I met Wzz on TSR. We chatted for nearly a year on the phone, MSN and on here. Then we met up. We started 'going out' with each other straight away, fell in love and now we're gradually getting closer to our wedding date. Only in the last 10 months has it not been a LDR.
It can happen, it doesn't always work out, but it can.
Good story Blackhawk
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