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How to console a female friend who has been rejected?

A close friend of mine experienced every girls worst nightmare when she told a guy she likes him after a few months of talking to one another and he told her he didn't see her in that way. That is quite possibly the worst thing for her to hear, especially after the guy gave her all the "signs" you'd expect. Late night phone calls/flirting etc. Naturally, she took all of this in one way and it backfired. She's humiliated and doesn't know what to do. A guy being rejected is pretty common (as far as I've seen). How do guys get over it? Do you feel it damages your self esteem in the long run? How could I comfort my friend apart from verbal support? Thanks.

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Reply 1
"He's a b******, there are plenty more fish in the sea". Lets go shopping together for some new shoes and then crack open a bottle of wine.

More seriously, this is the rough old world of dating. Most people get through without permanent damage to self esteem and find a good relationship. You can't imagine how many blow outs I have suffered..
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 2
if i may ask, does she cry about it? if she does... jus let her be. you can just hug her ,just don'y say a word. actions speak louder than words(cliche) but helpful
give her a hug haha, and tell her he's a penis
Reply 4
that's a girl's worst nightmare? geez louise...there's much worse than can happen, hun. most guys get rejected all the time. maybe she's too entitled and full of herself if she thinks guys rejecting heris beyond belief. i always hear women say they don't ask guys out because they tried it once and failed. if men applied the same logic humanity would stop existing within 100 years.
Reply 5
he probably was a player and you would've ended up getting hurt in the long run.
Reply 6
Original post by mimi112
that's a girl's worst nightmare? geez louise...there's much worse than can happen, hun. most guys get rejected all the time. maybe she's too entitled and full of herself if she thinks guys rejecting heris beyond belief. i always hear women say they don't ask guys out because they tried it once and failed. if men applied the same logic humanity would stop existing within 100 years.


No. It's more a matter of the fact that she put herself out there for once (something girls never do) and was rejected. So, she feels like she's lost her dignity so to speak. It's not anything to do with her own self confidence telling her she's too good to experience this. Just the shock of being rejected.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
No. It's more a matter of the fact that she put herself out there for once (something girls never do) and was rejected. So, she feels like she's lost her dignity so to speak. It's not anything to do with her own self confidence telling her she's too good to experience this. Just the shock of being rejected.


what about the guys who go through this day in day out, a million times more than women? why can they recover faster from the humiliation? why should they?
"Don't worry, it'll happen far more to me than it'll ever happen to you"
Reply 9
Stereotypical comments include:

'You don't need him anyway! You're a strong independent woman and don't need a boy in your life!'

'He's most likely gay - why else wouldn't he want you?!'

'He's a dick, he's obviously attracted to you but too immature for a relationship.'

etc. You're her friend, you should know how to cheer her up. My friend got rejected a while back, so I turned up at hers with a few bottles of wine and junk food. Use your imagination.
Original post by mimi112
what about the guys who go through this day in day out, a million times more than women? why can they recover faster from the humiliation? why should they?


She hasn't said they should recover faster :tongue: :lol: She's saying that she feels as though guys do go through this more often, and so is asking for tips for coping/helping her friend through it :colondollar:
Reply 11
tell her it's life move on
Every girls worst nightmare....you seem to a know a lot of girls....

Just tell her to get over it, keep herself busy, carry on as normal.
Reply 13
Original post by purple-duck
She hasn't said they should recover faster :tongue: :lol: She's saying that she feels as though guys do go through this more often, and so is asking for tips for coping/helping her friend through it :colondollar:



we, as a society, need to come up with some female terms for : man up, be a man or grow some balls. and try to educate young girls that they shouldn't just sit back and relax while the man initiates everything. then rejection for women wouldn't feel like the end of the world.
Original post by mimi112
we, as a society, need to come up with some female terms for : man up, be a man or grow some balls. and try to educate young girls that they shouldn't just sit back and relax while the man initiates everything. then rejection for women wouldn't feel like the end of the world.


As a guy when I'm been rejected it feels like the end of the world :tongue: I don't think it makes much difference. I'm sure that as I'm rejected more it'll stop feeling so bad - but I don't think your gender or stigmas have much to do with how bad it feels when you're rejected, really.

Personally I think it's stupid to have terms "man up" etc. for guys either :tongue: Someone telling me that wouldn't help in the slightest.
Reply 15
Girls moaning about rejection pisses me off. When I see a girl getting rejected, it warms my heart. :smile:
Reply 16
Original post by FlavaFavourFruit
Every girls worst nightmare....you seem to a know a lot of girls....

Just tell her to get over it, keep herself busy, carry on as normal.


It was clearly a blasé comment. Get over it.
Reply 17
I feel nothing.

Think of all the guys who get rejected. An abnormally larger proportion for sure.
Original post by Jebedee
Girls moaning about rejection pisses me off. When I see a girl getting rejected, it warms my heart. :smile:


Just like when you see kittens being drowned, aren't you a sweetie... :rolleyes:

It's not nice for anyone, have a little bit of compassion, you don't need to be so bitter.
Slip her a length. :perv:

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