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new-age arranged marriage to a doctor

Hi,

Being a British born male Pakistani, I always thought I would never get an arranged marriage and it was never really force on me. However I am nearly 30 and still haven't found "the one". So I turned to my parents recently and said I was interested in perhaps getting married if they had anyone in mind - its kind of how the new age arrange marriages work now, your family introduces you to someone and then its up to you guys to take it from there, so not forced in any way. Anyway, they asked around in the community and found a nice girl for me.

She sounds amazing, she is a doctor and from what I gather a fairly middle class/rich family. I know money is not important but it would certainly be nice and would definitely help. She is from Canada but also a first generation so I kind of gather her attitude and mentality would be a bit like mine (adopts both western and traditional cultural values). I am really interested specially as I am fed up of being single and lonely and want to be in love and start a family.

We have emailed each other a few times for about a month now and exchanged pictures but neither of us have brought up anything regarding relationships/marriage. I really want to but I don't know how, also I don't really know how to progress. Should we just email each other getting to know each other for a few months or are things suppose to move faster? I am willing to move to Canada for her but also don't know how to mention this without sounding too desperate/eager. Also I know it is probably a better idea if we meet first before I migrate to Canada but its just a bit difficult as it would I have to fly there for a short holiday and it might be a bit awkward.

I am a bit worried I might be below her status, as she is a doctor and i'm not. I'm still trying to find my way. I use to have a well-paid job but I quit (part of my mid-mid life crises) as I hated the job and now just do a bit of freelancing work (which actually I am making a decent living from). but am also planning to do an online vocational course, which would allow me to work in a field I think I would enjoy more.

Anyway I would really appreciate some advice on how to progress in this 'relationship' and how I can win her heart over.

ps i wold love to hear from anyone who is born in the western world but had also opted for an arrange marriage or any guys who are married to more powerful women and how things are working out?

Reply 1

armark111

Ask her if you could meet in person and if yes how to do so?
you come to her or she comes to you?
Good luck and i wish you all the best.

Reply 2

A321

I like your title lol

Sounds like you just want to marry her because shes a doctor :tongue:

Anyway instead of email cant you text? Call? Then maybe video calls or whatever?
You wanted to mention your willing to move...have you asked what shes got in mind?
And definitely meet her in person before you decide to just move there and marry her!

Thats all I got sorry!
Anyway good luck :smile:

Reply 3

LolaLowe

Relax, I think as you have only emailed a few times you need to get all thoughts of mentioning marriage out of your head for the time being, I realise the whole dating scene isn't the same in every culture but if she has had a western upbringing she might feel a bit rushed if you start talking about marrying.

That said, if you are really keen then dont be too slow, email more often, then say it would be fun to Skype, have fun, get to know each other, then you can suggest it would be great to meet up and see what sort of response you get....