TSR, why do I fear women? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Hi,

I have come into a relationship realising I fear women. I believe that most like to play mind games with their boyfriend, wrap him around their finger to get what they want, and then drop him like a hot potato for kicks and an ego boost. Especially young women.

I don't believe this is *****y or immature, I believe this is strong. This is the long-awaited empowerment of women; they don't need men, they will make men realsie they are the superior sex. I believe most women will use this to make men their slaves,s exually and emotionally. Every man has fantasies of being completely dominated.

I'm not enjoying my relationship to its fullest because of my issues. I tried to put them to the back of my mind when we started but apparently there is emotional baggage that I have carried into the relationship.
I think that my girlfriend is leading me on, waiting for a better guy to come along, she says she loves me but she doesn't she's just taking advantage of me being 'nice', and soon she's going to dump me.

I think she secretly thinks I'm a pussy when I text her 'I miss you' every now and then or anything emotional/sensitive and is laughing behind my back at how much of a needy wimp I am. I do not text her 24/7 but do check up on her most if not every day in some way, I have a life outside of her-but because I have expressed my sensitive side, I believe she now knows I'm weak. She will not text me back because she knows she has power and is mocking me./

TSR please help me, how accurate are my views and where possibly may I have learned them?
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Anonymous #1
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http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...2565240&page=4
http://www.lovepanky.com/men/attract...ys-finish-last

I sincerely hope that most women are not like this but so many sources tell me they are
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Viva Emptiness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Wtf
Seriously this is not good. I#m fairly sure this is plain old paranoia. I'm going to ruin things with my girl because I don't trust her and think she's playing me like a fiddle :/
I think you need to get out of your relationship until you've dealt with these feelings. You've already said you're not enjoying it to it's fullest extent, and your feelings will show to your girlfriend whether you think they do or not.
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Riku
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(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
Enjoy your yellow card for jokingly trying to out an anon user.

Source: Personal experience.
Don't worry Alpha's right, it's me :P

Look this is really disturbing me. I don't know whether a woman who ****s a guy up (psychologically not sexually) is a ***** or a sex goddess
but I am basically worried that every girls is like this, including my own gf, and am finding it hard to trust

I mean look at what Lovepanky says. Look at it. I would be hung drawn and quartered by the gender roles it promotes
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Viva Emptiness
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(Original post by Riku)
Don't worry Alpha's right, it's me :P

Look this is really disturbing me. I don't know whether a woman who ****s a guy up (psychologically not sexually) is a ***** or a sex goddess
but I am basically worried that every girls is like this, including my own gf, and am finding it hard to trust

I mean look at what Lovepanky says. Look at it. I would be hung drawn and quartered by the gender roles it promotes
Listen, have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophesy? Keep this up and it will happen to you. Try to take things as they come and realise that your girlfriend is just a person like you are, who cares about you like you do about her. There really is NOTHING else you can do, apart from continue down this route and ruin it yourself for sure.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
I think you need to get out of your relationship until you've dealt with these feelings. You've already said you're not enjoying it to it's fullest extent, and your feelings will show to your girlfriend whether you think they do or not.
It's tempting-but then I think I'll watch her get with her guy friend who I've been so paranoid about it for a while.
There is also the fact that if I think this about my gf, who is on the surface not this personality type at all, then against most women would tear me apart.

I'll admit there are two things which have triggered this:

i) Since exams started she's quiet as a mouse. I have to always reply first. I haven't seen her for a month.
ii) I texted ''I miss you, good luck what's your timetable like?' and she just replied with timetable responses, which suggests to me she probably doesn't miss me. I know exams are important but she's just gone cold.

edit: she repleid saying 'i'm freaking out!' I know it's stress, but these weird beliefs are giving me a hard time believing her, even though I want to.
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Alpha brah
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(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
Hah! I bet you don't get one now because you were right.
Or wrong, rather

To stay on topic, I'm just gonna say that about 50% of relationship threads by the guys on TSR would not be created if people actually learned how to make decent female friends rather than expecting some sexist article to create an accurate portrayal of the opposite gender.

And staying indoors making post after post about The Evil Women doesn't usually help re: makeing decent female friends.
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Riku
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[QUOTE=Alpha brah;45966525]I hope not :eyebrow:It's probably not him, not even he is usually this misogynist with such stupid generalisations about the opposite sex.[/QUOTE]

Oh thank God. In the case it's probably an obsession, like the fear of death thing.

I know it's horribly sexist but it's now ingrained in my head. At least with younger and more immature girls, like young immature guys.





(Original post by Alpha brah)
Or wrong, rather

To stay on topic, I'm just gonna say that about 50% of relationship threads by the guys on TSR would not be created if people actually learned how to make decent female friends rather than expecting some sexist article to create an accurate portrayal of the opposite gender.

And staying indoors making post after post about The Evil Women doesn't usually help re: makeing decent female friends.
but LovePanky and YourTango etc,. are from a perspective of female empowerment. So are they sexist?
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Viva Emptiness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's tempting-but then I think I'll watch her get with her guy friend who I've been so paranoid about it for a while.
There is also the fact that if I think this about my gf, who is on the surface not this personality type at all, then against most women would tear me apart.

I'll admit there are two things which have triggered this:

i) Since exams started she's quiet as a mouse. I have to always reply first. I haven't seen her for a month.
ii) I texted ''I miss you, good luck what's your timetable like?' and she just replied with timetable responses, which suggests to me she probably doesn't miss me. I know exams are important but she's just gone cold.

edit: she repleid saying 'i'm freaking out!' I know it's stress, but these weird beliefs are giving me a hard time believing her, even though I want to.
I am particularly interested in your answer to this question: Why are you more inclined to believe an article written by a faceless stranger (that confirms your negative beliefs), than you are to believe real life women talking to you personally?
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Riku
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(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
Listen, have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophesy? Keep this up and it will happen to you. Try to take things as they come and realise that your girlfriend is just a person like you are, who cares about you like you do about her. There really is NOTHING else you can do, apart from continue down this route and ruin it yourself for sure.
-but if I am right, this isn't about love or caring at all, it's about power. And seems as though most of Western society seems to operate on a struggle for power, I'm giving the (albeit paranoid as hell) though a little weight.
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Alpha brah
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(Original post by Riku)
Oh thank God. In the case it's probably an obsession, like the fear of death thing.

I know it's horribly sexist but it's now ingrained in my head. At least with younger and more immature girls, like young immature guys.
Immature people are usually immature. Younger does not necessarily mean immature. Certainly not to the extent you say it is. You're responsible for your attitude. Change it or it's your funeral socially quite frankly.

but LovePanky and YourTango etc,. are from a perspective of female empowerment. So are they sexist?
Supposedly "female" sites/magazines (e.g. Cosmo) can give sexist advice too what a newsflash.

In the unlikely event you'll take this advice after I've given it to you a hundred times already: get out in the real world, make proper female friends, and stop making threads about your self fulfilling prophecies.
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Riku
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(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
I am particularly interested in your answer to this question: Why are you more inclined to believe an article written by a faceless stranger (that confirms your negative beliefs), than you are to believe real life women talking to you personally?
Most times I Goggle something as simple as a negative personal characteristic, these sites come up. I don't know how they get their revenue, you don't have to subscribe, not many ads, seems like a free service.
If it's a service it's run by some strange and scary individuals.
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Viva Emptiness
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(Original post by Riku)
Most times I Goggle something as simple as a negative personal characteristic, these sites come up. I don't know how they get their revenue, you don't have to subscribe, not many ads, seems like a free service.
If it's a service it's run by some strange and scary individuals.
It's the internet, it's full (almost exclusively) of strange and scary individuals. Why would you Google a negative personality trait? Do you enjoy torturing yourself? If no: then stop.
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Riku
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(Original post by Alpha brah)
Immature people are usually immature. Younger does not necessarily mean immature. Certainly not to the extent you say it is. You're responsible for your attitude. Change it or it's your funeral socially quite frankly.



Supposedly "female" sites/magazines (e.g. Cosmo) can give sexist advice too what a newsflash.

In the unlikely event you'll take this advice after I've given it to you a hundred times already: get out in the real world, make proper female friends, and stop making threads about your self fulfilling prophecies.
Do you find that the modernised Cosmo and its ilk are sexist, and if so why?
There is an increasing range in magazines which rightfully promote female empowerment, certainly women to think of themselves as more than Barbie dolls-and yet some of them actually go to the reverse extreme of turning every guy into your own personal Ken doll, and binning all the others who don't fit a very specific model.
That's really ****ed up, how did that happen? It's like I've managed to stumble across the dodgy alleyways and dark waters of third wave feminism.

Yeah I know, I do have some female friends who contradict this *****y stereotype...
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alabelle
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(Original post by Riku)
Most times I Goggle something as simple as a negative personal characteristic, these sites come up. I don't know how they get their revenue, you don't have to subscribe, not many ads, seems like a free service.
If it's a service it's run by some strange and scary individuals.
Riku, you seriously need to relax. If that's impossible, go to a therapist. You are being irrational and sexist and you know it!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Alpha brah)
Immature people are usually immature. Younger does not necessarily mean immature. Certainly not to the extent you say it is. You're responsible for your attitude. Change it or it's your funeral socially quite frankly.



Supposedly "female" sites/magazines (e.g. Cosmo) can give sexist advice too what a newsflash.

In the unlikely event you'll take this advice after I've given it to you a hundred times already: get out in the real world, make proper female friends, and stop making threads about your self fulfilling prophecies.
Do you find that the modernised Cosmo and its ilk are sexist, and if so why?
There is an increasing range in magazines which rightfully promote female empowerment, certainly women to think of themselves as more than Barbie dolls-and yet some of them actually go to the reverse extreme of turning every guy into your own personal Ken doll, and binning all the others who don't fit a very specific model.
That's really ****ed up, how did that happen? It's like I've managed to stumble across the dodgy alleyways and dark waters of third wave feminism.

Yeah I know, I do have some female friends who contradict this *****y stereotype...
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Riku
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(Original post by alabelle)
Riku, you seriously need to relax. If that's impossible, go to a therapist. You are being irrational and sexist and you know it!
I'm seeing a counsellor who says in his opinion it's not weak or even overly clingy/needy to be sensitive and say 'I miss you' to your partner ffs but he's a counsellor. He's paid to tell this.

A lot of the problem is I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist, for example on my bad days I've ended up thinking about the Illuminati, which suggests to me this just an extension of paranoia.

Yeah I'm sorry it's so damn sexist :/
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Alpha brah
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^Not gonna bother writing out a full reply.

Stop looking for reasons to hate on women. Or don't. If you continue to fail socially I can't even feel sorry for you TBH. Tired of writing out the same old advice and I bet a lot of other people on here are too.
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Riku
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(Original post by Alpha brah)
^Not gonna bother writing out a full reply.

Stop looking for reasons to hate on women. Or don't. If you continue to fail socially I can't even feel sorry for you TBH. Tired of writing out the same old advice and I bet a lot of other people on here are too.
I don't hate them, I irrationally fear them on bad days because of ****ed up ideas I've developed.
Alright I need help, thanks for the support.
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Riku
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(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
It's the internet, it's full (almost exclusively) of strange and scary individuals. Why would you Google a negative personality trait? Do you enjoy torturing yourself? If no: then stop.
Well no, but when I say 'I miss you' to my girlfriend I feel needy, and then sort of compulsively check I'm not being so by comparing it to the behaviour of others
Most guys who fall into the'needy' category tend to be calling their partner 10 times a day and yelling at them if they don't respond. I rarely do this but am getting more anxious when she's quiet over exams because we haven't seen her for a month.
I still worry it's needy because I've even had to say 'I miss you' and she didn't reciprocate (because of exam stress).

In other words I am constantly examining my behaviour for traits which could give people reason to mock me, take advantage of me, dominate me, abandon me, or (in this case) dump me. I'm a perfectionist and hate feeling I've failed. If someone breaks up with me or treats me badly etc. I will tend to blame my behaviour first, unless they give me strong reasons to feel they're at fault. It is almost always my fault imo until they have shot someone or something.
In terms of relationships I don't know why my parents broke up 5 years from it happening, whose fault it was and what personalities led to that, I can only second-guess from my memories slowly going hazy :P
It bugs the **** out of me not knowing that so I am determined not to end up in the same situation after seeing them both in a deep depression afterwards, particularly Dad.
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