My looks and personality give guys the wrong impression
So, am a size 10 and have 32E boobs, my figure closely matches Holly Willoughby, this is an instant attraction to guys. I'm considered pretty because of a baby face, although I have some defects such as crooked teeth, so I'm not comfortable with my facial looks. My personality is smiley and bubbly, and I think guys mistake this for flirty. Okay to sum it up, when men meet me, they are already thinking about sleeping with me, they don't look at me as relationship material.
So there's this guy who Is showing a lot of interest in me, I recently met him when I was out with a mutual group of friends. He was very flirty and he told me I have a nice body. I could potentially fancy him but I'm not keen on guys who just want to sleep with me. So, he's invited me to drinks on Friday for his friend's birthday, he's said I can come with my friends.
I am going to go with 3 mates but I want to avoid conveying the message or giving the vibe that I'm available for sex. How can I appear modest without having to dress like a plain jane or a granny?
So there's this guy who Is showing a lot of interest in me, I recently met him when I was out with a mutual group of friends. He was very flirty and he told me I have a nice body. I could potentially fancy him but I'm not keen on guys who just want to sleep with me. So, he's invited me to drinks on Friday for his friend's birthday, he's said I can come with my friends.
I am going to go with 3 mates but I want to avoid conveying the message or giving the vibe that I'm available for sex. How can I appear modest without having to dress like a plain jane or a granny?
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Original post by Fruli
Okay to sum it up, when men meet me, they are already thinking about sleeping with me, they don't look at me as relationship material.
This sentence belies a fundamental misunderstanding of the male psyche.
EDIT: Are you Canadian?
(edited 10 years ago)
Honest to God, I have no idea. I guess if he's being overly forward from a physical standpoint, just let him know where you stand. That you're not ready and/or don't want to go that route/or would rather prefer getting to know him better and finding out whether he's interested in having a relationship.
That said...
The number of guys that are in relationships just because they to pork their partners bi-weekly... let's just say that it's a lot.
People are willing to jump through hoops to get what they want, not that this particular scenario is a bad thing from his point - but if you both want different things then.....
time will tell.
That said...
The number of guys that are in relationships just because they to pork their partners bi-weekly... let's just say that it's a lot.
People are willing to jump through hoops to get what they want, not that this particular scenario is a bad thing from his point - but if you both want different things then.....
time will tell.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Clip
This sentence belies a fundamental misunderstanding of the male psyche.
EDIT: Are you Canadian?
EDIT: Are you Canadian?
No I'm not Canadian, why?
Original post by Fruli
No I'm not Canadian, why?
You started with "So,"
On point: try having your hair up, not down. (made that up to avoid card)
Original post by Advanced Subsidiary
Honest to God, I have no idea. I guess if he's being overly forward from a physical standpoint, just let him know where you stand. That you're not ready and/or don't want to go that route/or would rather prefer getting to know him better and finding out whether he's interested in having a relationship.
That said...
The number of guys that are in relationships just because they to pork their partners bi-weekly... let's just say that it's a lot.
People are willing to jump through hoops to get what they want, not that this particular scenario is a bad thing from his point - but if you both want different things then.....
time will tell.
That said...
The number of guys that are in relationships just because they to pork their partners bi-weekly... let's just say that it's a lot.
People are willing to jump through hoops to get what they want, not that this particular scenario is a bad thing from his point - but if you both want different things then.....
time will tell.
Thanks! I'm quite a religious girl so I do prefer the traditional type of dating.
Last year I went through a painful breakup and regret sleeping with the guy.
Original post by Clip
You started with "So,"
On point: try having your hair up, not down. (made that up to avoid card)
On point: try having your hair up, not down. (made that up to avoid card)
Lol I don't get your second point.
Original post by Fruli
Thanks! I'm quite a religious girl so I do prefer the traditional type of dating.
Last year I went through a painful breakup and regret sleeping with the guy.
Last year I went through a painful breakup and regret sleeping with the guy.
Traditional? In terms of.. parents finding someone for you? Or preferring to get to know the guy really well first and then deciding whether to pursue a relationship?
Original post by Advanced Subsidiary
Traditional? In terms of.. parents finding someone for you? Or preferring to get to know the guy really well first and then deciding whether to pursue a relationship?
The latter, I'd rather get to know a guy first before pursuing a relationship.
The thing is, it's so difficult to start off as friends once there's already sexual chemistry and I'm worried that the guy's flirtiness could create sexual chemistry. Perhaps I need to tone down my giggly, girly self, but I can't help being me.
Haha, those guys sound like the opposite of me.
Maybe you can just tell them, if it puts them off then maybe they arent right?
Maybe you can just tell them, if it puts them off then maybe they arent right?
Original post by Clip
You started with "So,"
On point: try having your hair up, not down. (made that up to avoid card)
On point: try having your hair up, not down. (made that up to avoid card)
**** myself laughing
Just make sure you don't forget to forget wearing clothes, wouldn't want to give the wrong impression
Original post by Clip
This sentence belies a fundamental misunderstanding of the male psyche.
EDIT: Are you Canadian?
EDIT: Are you Canadian?
Original post by Clip
You started with "So,"
On point: try having your hair up, not down. (made that up to avoid card)
On point: try having your hair up, not down. (made that up to avoid card)
Bahahah
I kind of get what she means though, she's attracting guys who want sexual relationships rather than guys who want a girlfriend.
Original post by Fruli
The thing is, it's so difficult to start off as friends once there's already sexual chemistry and I'm worried that the guy's flirtiness could create sexual chemistry. Perhaps I need to tone down my giggly, girly self, but I can't help being me.
The thing is, it's so difficult to start off as friends once there's already sexual chemistry and I'm worried that the guy's flirtiness could create sexual chemistry. Perhaps I need to tone down my giggly, girly self, but I can't help being me.
I'm not sure if what I'm going to say makes sense, but stop letting them decide. Find a guy you like and take him out. You've got this guy, go out with him, don't sleep with him until you're in a relationship. Being passive means you have no say in what happens
Original post by Fruli
The latter, I'd rather get to know a guy first before pursuing a relationship.
The thing is, it's so difficult to start off as friends once there's already sexual chemistry and I'm worried that the guy's flirtiness could create sexual chemistry. Perhaps I need to tone down my giggly, girly self, but I can't help being me.
The thing is, it's so difficult to start off as friends once there's already sexual chemistry and I'm worried that the guy's flirtiness could create sexual chemistry. Perhaps I need to tone down my giggly, girly self, but I can't help being me.
Well if there's sexual chemistry, that doesn't mean you can't figure out whether you could be friends or not. At the end of the day, a monogamous relationship is basically a really fun friendship with "perks". If you're interested in the guy, and there is that tension, just continue to hang out with him - get to know him first, that doesn't mean you can't get physical.[doesn't have to be sex tho]
If it feels right and you want to take it to the next step, then go ahead with it
Original post by Fruli
The latter, I'd rather get to know a guy first before pursuing a relationship.
The thing is, it's so difficult to start off as friends once there's already sexual chemistry and I'm worried that the guy's flirtiness could create sexual chemistry. Perhaps I need to tone down my giggly, girly self, but I can't help being me.
The thing is, it's so difficult to start off as friends once there's already sexual chemistry and I'm worried that the guy's flirtiness could create sexual chemistry. Perhaps I need to tone down my giggly, girly self, but I can't help being me.
Just be friends - don't over complicate it. Yes there may be sexual chemistry but that doesn't mean you have to hip in the sack asap. If he doesn't respect that then he's not the guy for you. If you can't be yourself around someone then that's a huge neon sign saying "don't date".
Original post by no-1
**** myself laughing
I don't get clip's joke
. Please explain(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
Bahahah
I kind of get what she means though, she's attracting guys who want sexual relationships rather than guys who want a girlfriend.
I'm not sure if what I'm going to say makes sense, but stop letting them decide. Find a guy you like and take him out. You've got this guy, go out with him, don't sleep with him until you're in a relationship. Being passive means you have no say in what happens
I kind of get what she means though, she's attracting guys who want sexual relationships rather than guys who want a girlfriend.
I'm not sure if what I'm going to say makes sense, but stop letting them decide. Find a guy you like and take him out. You've got this guy, go out with him, don't sleep with him until you're in a relationship. Being passive means you have no say in what happens
You mean I need to take more control?
Original post by Fruli
You mean I need to take more control?
Yeah it just seems to me like you're going with the flow, from what you've said. It can still be flirty /teasy to hold back a bit and make them date you a bit longer before you sleep with them
Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
Yeah it just seems to me like you're going with the flow, from what you've said. It can still be flirty /teasy to hold back a bit and make them date you a bit longer before you sleep with them
Yes you are right, I tend to go with the flow a lot, which is never good.
I need to be strong willed so that I don't get hurt again
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