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What is so "immoral" about open sex anyway?
Regardless of health risk, what makes our mentality believe that having sex with many people without necessarily being in a long term relationship with them is something "negative"? Or even immoral?
I think that there is more than just religious tradition of demonizing "promiscuity" (note that the word promiscuity itself is negatively connoted) behind this.
Is it felt by others as a symbolical loss of self-importance?
Or the loss of control over the partner (as an evolutionary theorist might say)?
Please keep in mind that in certain traditions, monogamy ("having a relationship with one person") is not the basic idea of Love.
What do you think?
Especially, I would like to know what one-night-stands have to do with "immorality".
I think that there is more than just religious tradition of demonizing "promiscuity" (note that the word promiscuity itself is negatively connoted) behind this.
Is it felt by others as a symbolical loss of self-importance?
Or the loss of control over the partner (as an evolutionary theorist might say)?
Please keep in mind that in certain traditions, monogamy ("having a relationship with one person") is not the basic idea of Love.
What do you think?
Especially, I would like to know what one-night-stands have to do with "immorality".
Scroll to see replies
yeah i agree depends how you view sex, there are so many different reasons why people have casual sex.
I personally don't see the problem with one-night stands or sex on a first date if that's where it's heading. I mean, if you get on alright and fancy them a bit, but can't see it going any further then I don't see the problem. So long as it's not a regular occurance, of course.
But I think it totally depends on your view of sex. If you hold sex as something sacred and intimate, then you're more likely to think that sleeping around is wrong and immoral because it goes against all your beliefs about what sex is. But if you're someone who thinks that sex is just an animal instinct then you're less likely to consider having one-night stands as 'bad'. These views are probably a lot to do with your upbringing- religious or not, parental beliefs, etc.
To be perfectly honest, I view sex as both of those things. If you want it to be sacred and special then it can be, but that doesn't mean you can't have it for fun and just to satisfy yourself either. But if you had always believed that sex should be something sacred between you and your partner, and thought of it as the ultimate act of intimacy then I can see why you wouldn't like the idea of a one-night stand.
But I think it totally depends on your view of sex. If you hold sex as something sacred and intimate, then you're more likely to think that sleeping around is wrong and immoral because it goes against all your beliefs about what sex is. But if you're someone who thinks that sex is just an animal instinct then you're less likely to consider having one-night stands as 'bad'. These views are probably a lot to do with your upbringing- religious or not, parental beliefs, etc.
To be perfectly honest, I view sex as both of those things. If you want it to be sacred and special then it can be, but that doesn't mean you can't have it for fun and just to satisfy yourself either. But if you had always believed that sex should be something sacred between you and your partner, and thought of it as the ultimate act of intimacy then I can see why you wouldn't like the idea of a one-night stand.
One night stands and other open sex things i feel are wrong. I would never have a one night stand. I feel that sex should be with someone i love.
It depends on your own views about open sex.
Lyndzxx
One night stands and other open sex things i feel are wrong. I would never have a one night stand. I feel that sex should be with someone i love.
Yeah thats my view really, i was brought up with the belieft that sex should be in a loving relationship and not just some random person picked up from a club.
Carl1982
Yeah thats my view really, i was brought up with the belieft that sex should be in a loving relationship and not just some random person picked up from a club.
Exactly, the same with me.
And why can't one Love a one-night-stand?
I guess that depends on how you view Love, right? :P
Anyway, as culture and history has taught us, there are many populations in which polygamy is as normal as we perceive monogamy. Not necessarily one-night-stands, but still situations in which you love many women/men at the same time...
Secondly, why is it the act of sex that is attributed with so much importance? Why isn't it something else, like consensual poetry, or another manifestation of love? Why exactly is so much importance given to sex in monogamous love?
I guess that depends on how you view Love, right? :P
Anyway, as culture and history has taught us, there are many populations in which polygamy is as normal as we perceive monogamy. Not necessarily one-night-stands, but still situations in which you love many women/men at the same time...
Secondly, why is it the act of sex that is attributed with so much importance? Why isn't it something else, like consensual poetry, or another manifestation of love? Why exactly is so much importance given to sex in monogamous love?
Lyndzxx
Exactly, the same with me.
I think the other point also is, if its some random person from a club, you don't know them really or rather you don't know their sexual past, i mean it's not the same having a 1 night stand really, after a while surely it gets boring anyway, and from a girls point of view how many guys bother with protection.
some see sex as something that should happen only between two people who love each other. promiscuity means sex loses its meaning of closeness.
if i shook hands with everyone i met, and the closest i got to my friends was a handshake too, what is to distinguish betwen a friend and stranger? lets say the next step up would be a hug, if i hugged everyone, then hugging would lose meaning. keep on going, and you end up at sex. i don't see any higher levels of physical intimacy, so if someone has sex with potentially anyone, what is there left for someone they fall in love with? (apart from marriage perhaps, but that's more emotional intimacy)
if i shook hands with everyone i met, and the closest i got to my friends was a handshake too, what is to distinguish betwen a friend and stranger? lets say the next step up would be a hug, if i hugged everyone, then hugging would lose meaning. keep on going, and you end up at sex. i don't see any higher levels of physical intimacy, so if someone has sex with potentially anyone, what is there left for someone they fall in love with? (apart from marriage perhaps, but that's more emotional intimacy)
kizer
^^ *bangs head against wall*
WHY is it wrong, WHY should it just be in a loving relationship - or are you just saying that's just how you were brought up?
WHY is it wrong, WHY should it just be in a loving relationship - or are you just saying that's just how you were brought up?
Like we are saying above, we are all brought up differently and have different backgrounds etc so therefore our views on sex and one night stands are completely different to each others.
i don't consider it immoral, wrong, disgusting or any other 'negative' adjective.
personally, i feel it is natural. we are all made to procreate, no matter what your faith or beliefs. if you don't fancy it, fine, don't go do it, but it's a human urge adjunct to hunger and thirst. as long as we are sensible and take relevant precautions then i see no issue.
obviously, consent is of utmost importance, also.
personally, i feel it is natural. we are all made to procreate, no matter what your faith or beliefs. if you don't fancy it, fine, don't go do it, but it's a human urge adjunct to hunger and thirst. as long as we are sensible and take relevant precautions then i see no issue.
obviously, consent is of utmost importance, also.
I accept the difference of our backgrounds =) But I'm just curious...
Trangulor, so, in this case, the ladder of values in intimacy between people depends [so much] on physical contact?
Trangulor, so, in this case, the ladder of values in intimacy between people depends [so much] on physical contact?
kizer
^^ *bangs head against wall*
WHY is it wrong, WHY should it just be in a loving relationship - or are you just saying that's just how you were brought up?
WHY is it wrong, WHY should it just be in a loving relationship - or are you just saying that's just how you were brought up?
I guess I'd just feel kind of cheap, and used in a way. I was brought up to think that sex should be in a relationship, maybe that affects my views but i see casual sex as a way people use to satisfy themselves quickly and cheaply. I personally wouldnt be able to separate the emotional from physical acts, and wouldnt trust a randomn stranger enough not to have diseases etc.
Its hard to explain. I think in a way for women its different to men, as men can (apparently) separate physical and emotional aspects to sex whereas women have more problems dong that.
Just because someone might have casual sex in between relationships wont make it any less intimate when in a caring relationship. Like most people have said, I think its entirely up to the individual and their views. Some people definately get on their high horse way too much tho, if someone wants to have sex just let them!
It depends how you feel about sex.
For me, I wouldn't have a one night stand/fling or just pick someone up from a club and sleep with them, because its wrong to me, and goes against my morals. This is because I think sex is a very intimate act and is the most intimate and special thing you can do with someone. For me, I wouldn't want to do that with somebody i didnt know, love, respect and trust, and feel it cheapens the value of a sex and its importance within a loving relationship.
For me, I wouldn't have a one night stand/fling or just pick someone up from a club and sleep with them, because its wrong to me, and goes against my morals. This is because I think sex is a very intimate act and is the most intimate and special thing you can do with someone. For me, I wouldn't want to do that with somebody i didnt know, love, respect and trust, and feel it cheapens the value of a sex and its importance within a loving relationship.
Well, when it's something special, you don't go giving it to everyone you *think* is special, do you? You keep it for one person and one only, and then with much careful thought and caution. Like, say, the grandmother you're close to who has died gave you a ring to keep, or something, or a letter, or some such memoto - you won't go lending your ring to just anyone who asks, and you won't let just anyone read that letter, would you? Or when you're with your bf/gf - you won't let anyone touch your partner or let anyone kiss them and would probably get jealous if a person of the opposite sex to your partner constantly hugged him/her. and etc. When you really care about something, you don't give it away easily. This of course has a lot to do with maturity too. And so giving your body away in sex "just for fun" - you're disregarding what effect it could have on the person you're having sex with, and you're being careless with how it might effect yourself afterwards. And you're saying - my body can be given away for fun. If you truly valued something, you do not just give it away "for fun", and not just to anyone either. So in that, if you have sex with just anyone for fun, you degrade yourself and you degrade the person you sleep with. And it also shows a level of immaturity. In other cases it might show the person to be trying to search for someone who loved them, but they think by giving themselves away in sex, they would find that, and sex helps them fill this void that they have. But it doesn't because afterwards it becomes empty and you're out trying to find someone else to fill that void. You're chasing after an illusion that would cause you to get more and more hurt without your knowing. If you truly valued yourself, why would you have sex with just anybody? Why would you pull some random stranger just cus they looked good and the next day, they would forget you and you them? It goes to show you do not value that person and they do not value you. So why give away something so valueable to someone who will not treat it right and cherish you as you deserve?
allmyshoes
i don't consider it immoral, wrong, disgusting or any other 'negative' adjective.
personally, i feel it is natural. we are all made to procreate, no matter what your faith or beliefs. if you don't fancy it, fine, don't go do it, but it's a human urge adjunct to hunger and thirst. as long as we are sensible and take relevant precautions then i see no issue.
obviously, consent is of utmost importance, also.
personally, i feel it is natural. we are all made to procreate, no matter what your faith or beliefs. if you don't fancy it, fine, don't go do it, but it's a human urge adjunct to hunger and thirst. as long as we are sensible and take relevant precautions then i see no issue.
obviously, consent is of utmost importance, also.
May I continue this trail of thoughts?
Sometimes we eat food with taste and pleasure, attaching something "emotional" to it, whereas other times we eat food in order to respond to an urge, to satisfy our hunger or taste - something necessarily "physical" - as you cal it.
Does it make us less important as humans if we eat "only" out of urge, "only" because we're hungry?
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