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She blanks Me for boyfriend

One of my friends is always showing off about her boyfriend. I used to be her best friend ever since we started high school, but as time went she changed and started going behind her parents back. She met her boyfried 2 years ago and shes been my friend for about 6 years. The problem with her is
All she ever talks about is him, shes forgotton that i was her best friend and that am always going to be second best to her. I kind off understand where she is coming from because she truly loves her boyfriend more then anything. So Should I or talk to her about what shes doing to me.

Reply 1

Knight-of-Ni

Definately.

She may be in love with him, but i bet she'd feel just as bad as you if it was the other way around! I know i bug my friends about talking about my bf a little too often, but they tell me and so i stop and talk about something that actually interests them! :biggrin:

Reply 2

Ghetto_Princess12

I can understand your being fed up of your friend with her bragging about her boyfriend. No doubt you feel hurt because of the way she sidelines you. But it's not just you, is it? It's all her other mates too.
Yes, you could fall out with her, but what would that say about you? That you're envious, sulky, jealous? And since she's so focussed on this lad, she'd hardly notice anyway, Sooner or later she's going to split up with him and then she will need her mates, Besides, that's the point at which she's going to realise what a daft thing she's done in alienating you all.
As for your friend, she'll learn the hard way. You're not responsible for her, only for how you deal with situations, using maturity and tolerance. Meantime, enjoy your other friendships and interests.

Reply 3

prettyblueeyes

Yes, speak to her.
We had a similar problem with a friend, who dropped our little group out for her boyfriend, would cancel on us to be with him, never was available to see any of us etc, and would bring him in to literally every conversation. if we wanted to meet up, he'd be with her etc. it got annoying and i can understand how you feel, especially if this is within just you and your friend and not a larger group of friends.
basically we sat down and said to her, whilst we understand she loves her boyfriend and likes spending time with him, we're her best friends and its unfair to drop one out for the other. tell her you miss spending time with her and talking about girl things and eachother, and insist that whilst you dont mind talking about her boyfriend, there are other things that interest you too, and the world revolves around more than him. if that doesnt drop a big enough hint, i'd tell her that friends should come before boys and that if she doesn't respect your friendship, then maybe you wont be there for her when something bad happens with her boyfriend. i think she needs to rebalance the relationships, and keep her time with you and her time with her boyfriend separate but equal. xx

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

If this is the person who I think its is then you are a hyprocrite for coming on here when you insult others for going on forums.

Its a fact of life people do change - you are not the same at 40 when you were at 20.
Maybe she doesn't talk about him all the time and your making excuses as you don't see her much?
Perhaps she has a course to do or work other commitments - people's lives can't revolve around one person.
Maybe she has felt neglected herself and sidelined now other friends have taken place?

People should not have to choose between their friends or partner.

Kill the boyfriend.

It always sucks when the friends that are closest to you chooses their boyfriends over you, but, in time, they will realise their mistake. Just carry on being their friend and stick by them. They will thank you in the future.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Were you the one who got turned down by a 43 year old? If so what about the times you met him when you went out on many dates, I'm sure she was at home on her own and has listened many times about this guy who is the topic of most conversations!

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Ugh I have the same problem. My close friend has been seeing someone for 6 months now and she will call me up and talk to me for an hour on the phone about how fabulous and wonderful he is. Sometimes I really could'nt care less. Sometimes when she realises how long she has been going on for then she will ask me how and doing and then sometimes without waiting for my response she will go off in her tangent again. I am single and sometimes she will say really patronising things like "Aww don't worry when you have a boyfriend you will understand..." or "We really need to find someone for you you poor thing". I love her as my friend and try to support her but sometimes she really does my head in. If I tell her I know her reasoning will be that I am jealous of her oh so fabulous relationship and that I am trying to ruin it for her. I guess like someone else said you just have to be there for her.

Sorry for the long post.... :redface:

Reply 9

Glory

Im sorry your feeling all left out by your friend. But i can see why she is spending all of her time with him. When you love someone you feel you wanna spend every spare minute with them. I know it sucks for your friend's social circle, but friendships dont last forever and love has the the ability to last lifetimes.

If you stop being friends with her, she wont choose you. Maybe it isn't too much to ask for her to spend a day with you, but relationships test friendships to breaking point.

Reply 10

quintsy

I posted a thread about this exact problem a bit less than a week ago. My best friend met someone on a trip about a week ago, and now has completely ditched us for him. She blew off the birthday celebration of one of our friends just so she could see him.

I just found out about an hour ago from my other friends that she's out seeing him this evening too- but she didn't mention it to me. It's horrible when your friends start to keep things from you. :frown:

I hope it gets better for you- I think it would be a good idea to talk to your friend. We mentioned it to her after the event; we said that we really didn't enjoy coming with her to see him and that she can't keep forgetting us. Hopefully she just hasn't considered that she's hurting you all, and by drawing it to her attention you can all sort something else.

It's a horrible situation to be in, because you feel like you're losing one of your closest friends just like that and there's nothing you can do. But have a word with her- it is very possible that she jsut hasn't considered it from your perspective. Good luck! :smile:

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

I have the opposite problem. My girlfriend is spending more time with her friends than me atm :frown:

. Remember that the boyfriend is a friend to her too...

Reply 12

Anonymous #5

Definitely speak to your friend, I cannot stress this enough.

Unfortunately this happened to me, although slightly different. I had two really great friends, the guy was my best friend and the girl was a really good friend of mine. Once they got together, our relationships kinda fell apart. At first it was alright, we were on good terms and we seemed to be getting on very well and then it eventually got worse. Whenever our circle of friends would meet, these two would essentially sit on their own and make out with each other and pretty much ignore the rest of the people we were with.

I never did speak to either of them and now our relationships are down the drain...I used to speak to the guy almost every day yet now we barely speak once a week, and with the girl the friendship has just disappeared. I think the problem was that I got jealous of their relationship, coupled with the fact that they were ignoring the rest of the group and this lead to things getting sour and now I really do regret not speaking to them.

Just speak to your friend. Who knows, it may end up being in your benefit as your friend may not realise she's been blanking you and as such things may go back to how things were.

Reply 13

amywalters

Well.. i can understand that from both sides of the coin. I have a boyfriend, but before i had one i knew what it was like to not have 1 and my bestfriend was never coming out with me cos she wanted to be with him. I think its just something that happens when you find someone in them younger years, you lose all track of whats really around you cos you devote your time to what you think means everything to you. I'm sure she knows what she is doing but probably thinks you dont mind, if you just tell her that you will always be there but you dont want to be picked up and dropped, im sure she will understand. If she argues that she doesnt do that, then that is a definate sign that she feels guilty and doesnt want to admit what shes doing!

Reply 14

.:fluff:.

I know how you feel, I'v lost one of my best friends during this year due to constant letting down, ignoring, basically being treated like **** because of his new girlfriend. He doesn;t speak to us anymore, infact i don't think I'v heard from him for nearly 3 months now, he's decided not to go to Uni and he's balls up all his exams...
Then I have a close girl friend who i have known for nearly 9 years who just completely ignors us for her boyfriend, so I'v just given up trying after trying to meet up with her for nearly 2 weeks and every day shes been "too busy" with him..

I understand that people do get into relationships when they grow up, and people do change but you know the saying , "girlfriends/boyfriends come and go, friends are forever". I have a boyfriend but I always make time for my friends, so do my close friends...i suppose it shows you where some peoples loyalties lie...