Going to have to say goodbye.. :(

I came back to school this year and found out my new maths teacher was someone I knew already. I knew him from older friends. The problem was, when I knew him before, I had a minor crush on him. And now he's my teacher..

Before everyone starts telling me about him getting fired, me getting expelled etc, Let me make it clear that as soon as I found out, I knew I would never act upon my feelings, and I haven't ever planned to at any moment throughout this whole year.

I always thought it would be ok- the crush I had on him started to fade really as I found out more about him and it turned out he was just a really nice person. He was really kind and told me that I could talk to him whenever because he noticed I didn't seem like normal at school recently due to some other things going on with friends. I thought to myself: "This is fine- I can live like this. I still like him, but it's now really as a friend and not anything else. I can look forward to next year in the lesson because I feel I've learned so much more this year thanks to him".

Famous last words. Term ends in a week and because he's only a GTP; his contract at our school isn't being extended. He's leaving our school and going to another one. I've come to realise that I don't like him anymore as a crush, but he has become a really great friend because as he said, he's not that much older than me and still remembers the things which I'm going through.

I really don't know what to do. I'm never going to see him again, and I feel like I'm about to lose someone who has really supported me recently. I would offer to exchange email addresses, but essentially he still is my teacher and it's kind of a taboo area. I feel we've got to know each other so much better; but essentially he still is my teacher and maybe I should just forget him.. ahhh I'm such an idiot. :frown:

Reply 1

dede

11

Exchange emails! That's not taboo. There are a couple of teachers I plan on staying in touch with (although we'll see if that pans out).

Reply 2

generalebriety

16

How old are you? Ask if you can email him to send him your personal statement or something for uni. :p:

Teachers seem fairly willing to do that. Just tell him you're going to miss him - in a friendly way. He might even offer some contact details up.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

He's about five years older than me I think- I'm not sure exactly but he said he isn't much older than me. I gave him a card the other day thanking him for everything he's done and today he thanked me for it and said what I wrote was really sweet. I kind of want to ask him for his email address.. but lots of girls at my school have crushes on him and it might seem like I was just one of those.. or it might seem a bit stalker-ish.

I'm not going to have a chance to catch him on his own casually again- the only way I could ask would be if I went to see him specifically to ask. How could I phrase it in such a way which wouldn't sound too pushy?

Reply 4

generalebriety

16

Ah, just ask him! You'll regret it if you don't. :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Aughhh! I know you're right but I really don't know how to phrase it or how to go about doing it. It wouldn't really work if I just went up to the staffroom; asked to speak to him and then just said: "Can I have your email address please?" :biggrin:

My friend lives right next to him, so if it came to it I could always er.. send a letter or something?

I am such an idiot. I know I'll regret not asking.. but I really don't know how I can ask without sounding like a fool. Plus he probably won't want to give it to me, and then what would he say?

AUGHH. I'm an idiot!

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

"Listen, we're not going to see each other again, and I know you're my teacher but I've come to look up to you and see you as a good friend over the last couple of months... would you mind if we stayed in touch?"

Reply 7

Bubblebee

15

Why ask? Why not give?

Reply 8

generalebriety

16

Presumably because he might feign flattery and then throw it away and not bother.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

generalebriety

"Listen, we're not going to see each other again, and I know you're my teacher but I've come to look up to you and see you as a good friend over the last couple of months... would you mind if we stayed in touch?"

That sounds good :smile:

but it would take me loads to be able to say it. He probably just feel obliged to say to me I could talk to him when I wanted and he probably just sees me as just another student amongst 1000 others.

Bubblebee- that's an idea, I'm so stupid- I could have written my email address in the card.. and then it completely takes away the whole "what if he says no" factor.

There is another thing which still does er connect us though- I'm the captain of the football team and I'm responsible for organising matches, and he supervised this year and acted as another coach. I jokingly told him today at football that his new school should play ours in the future. This perhaps could be a reason for staying in touch?

Reply 10

maag101

1

Are you female?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

maag101

Are you female?

Yep.

Reply 12

username47781

20

I'm sure there's no reason why you can't stay in touch

Reply 13

mike_J

2

Hell, i've got email addresses of teachers i dont even like. I'm sure its fine to ask for his email. Go for it

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

I am still kind of, er young though- I'm only going into year eleven next year.. I know he said he wasn't much older than me but I still will be a pupil for another few years at least.

Reply 15

prettyblueeyes

13

Doesnt he have a school email address?
This has just happened to me with a fave math teacher of 4 yrs. he's this amazing teacher and although he's 30 and engaged to another teacher, we get on well. we know not to get jokey in lessons but we chat like friends outside and i've seen him as a real support when i've been upset etc. he's moving to australia at the end of the yr and leaving at the end of this term. i only found out once i'd left (just finished y11) and so although said bye and thanks at our last lesson, it was only quickly as he was upset and most of the class were and leaving. so i emailed his school email saying i just heard you're leaving and wanted to say thanks again for everything etc, good luck and goodbye. i said i might be going to aus next yr so might bump in to him haha (making it seem jokey) and he emailed back really chattily and gave me his home email/hotmail and said dont feel i cant use it! :biggrin:

Just email him if you've got a staff email and say thanks again, you've been a real support to me etc, and i hope we can stay in touch.
good luck xxx

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Ooh thanks for reminding me! :smile:

I thought about that before but I'm not sure because he said a few weeks ago to one of the year sevens he didn't even know he has one. We can only really access it at school and I've only ever been on it once in four years perhaps? It is an idea though, because it's less of a big deal than like, giving my proper email address.

Reply 17

Bubblebee

15

I'm sorry but if you are under sixteen, regardless of if you are a pupil or not, he might get the wrong impression and steer clear.
However he might not, just give it a go, what's the worst that can happen?

Reply 18

goodLife

Anonymous

I came back to school this year and found out my new maths teacher was someone I knew already. I knew him from older friends. The problem was, when I knew him before, I had a minor crush on him. And now he's my teacher..

Before everyone starts telling me about him getting fired, me getting expelled etc, Let me make it clear that as soon as I found out, I knew I would never act upon my feelings, and I haven't ever planned to at any moment throughout this whole year.

I always thought it would be ok- the crush I had on him started to fade really as I found out more about him and it turned out he was just a really nice person. He was really kind and told me that I could talk to him whenever because he noticed I didn't seem like normal at school recently due to some other things going on with friends. I thought to myself: "This is fine- I can live like this. I still like him, but it's now really as a friend and not anything else. I can look forward to next year in the lesson because I feel I've learned so much more this year thanks to him".

Famous last words. Term ends in a week and because he's only a GTP; his contract at our school isn't being extended. He's leaving our school and going to another one. I've come to realise that I don't like him anymore as a crush, but he has become a really great friend because as he said, he's not that much older than me and still remembers the things which I'm going through.

I really don't know what to do. I'm never going to see him again, and I feel like I'm about to lose someone who has really supported me recently. I would offer to exchange email addresses, but essentially he still is my teacher and it's kind of a taboo area. I feel we've got to know each other so much better; but essentially he still is my teacher and maybe I should just forget him.. ahhh I'm such an idiot. :frown:

There has got to be a easy way around this. Just before he leaves why don't you tell him that you are applying for a job and ask him if he will be a refrence for when you recieve the application form (cause you can't really think of people to any one else to ask). He will make a good one since he knows you more anyway.
He should give you his contact details to write on your application (or it gives a good reason to ask) , a few weeks later you could contact him to say thanks and ask him if the employer has contacted him yet. You could start talking to him in a friendly way and from here stay in contact regular.

I can think of others but try this lol :p:

Reply 19

Apricot Fairy

16

Firstly, if you are just going into Year 11, I'd be willing to bet my life he is a *leettle* bit more than five years older than you. Hell, I'm five years older than you!

Secondly, there's nothing wrong with asking if you can stay in touch. You sound mature and sensible, not like a schoolgirl with a crush. I still stay in touch with one or two of my old teachers. I think they are flattered when ex-students want to stay in contact.

Going to have to say goodbye.. :(

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