Why are people drawn to nasty people?

Firstly, why are the nasty people the popular ones? Why is rudeness, for example, applauded by our peers? Thinking back to primary and secondary school, the popular people were always horrible, with just a couple of exceptions later on. Even at university, although to a much lesser extent, it seems that those who are rude and unfriendly are the ones with lots of friends.

One example. A girl in my year in yr 12/ 13 saw me get onto the bus, and exclaimed rudely to her friend, “Who is that? Never even seen her before” and, staring when I looked at her, “Yeahh I’m talking to you!! Ugh” *rolls eyes* *disgusted face* She was not particularly pretty, definitely not friendly, just super rude- but super popular. And the case can be made again and again for the bullies being the popular ones.

I think it’d be nice if people actually liked others on the basis of how NICE they are to people, not the other way around.

Secondly, why do people ignore others when they know they’re going through something like depression? Why do they ignore obvious calls for help? The passive and uncaring nature of people is something I can never understand. Everybody is self absorbed, but more than that, I feel like people are rewarded for being horrible and bitchy, and sometimes picked on for being nice. I know I have felt throughout my life that I need a tougher, bitchier exterior just to be liked by other girls or not taken advantage of. Which is ridiculous. I feel that people reward horribleness and discourage the building of a good, decent character in people.

I feel like it’s harder to be genuinely caring and nice. It’s “weird” or not normal to exclaim to Facebook that anybody who wants to talk should message you. It’s weird to even ask people you don’t know too well, but happen to know are going through something, how they are. I think we live in a society that makes you tuck your niceness away and learn to become nasty or indifferent.
Opinions welcome.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

Riku

-> Many people are shallow

-> Many are attention-seekers

-> Many like drama regardless of who suffers, hence gossip, hence why the news is often so depressing, boredom doesn't sell

-> If we're going the whole hog our current capitalist system actively promotes individualism and self-gain over community values (such as e.g. compassion) and exploits this at every opportunity it has. Notice how much money rules people's lives to this day

-> Of course some people grow up and you're young, so keep your head up and try to be one of the nicer people
Tbh it won't get you as far in life as being an ambitious but popular and successful dick would, but you won't feel as depressed :smile:

Reply 2

Jordooooom

My guess is that some people are probably scared of them. They agree with them and suck up to them so as to avoid getting any abuse/bullying themselves?

I like to treat others how they treat me. If they're nice to me I'll be nice to them. If they're a **** then I'll be a bigger **** back

Reply 3

gemmam

Original post by Jordooooom

Im guessing this to. In my experience although these people were quite popular in school and sixth form, they become not very well liked by their early 20s (unless they started being nicer as they matured).

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(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

username1039383

Nasty people are usually popular for the wrong reasons..

Those who follow them around are just afraid of being bullied by them tbh so they just tag along :tongue:

Reply 5

TheOutcast

At university level, though, it's not the case that people are friends with others out of fear or pressure. If we take a not so bad, but still somewhat bitchy/ stuck up/ pretentious/ mean girl, you'll find that she's quite popular. It seems as though people are attracted to mean girls, tbh.

Why are people drawn to nasty people?

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