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Introducing new boyfriend to judgemental friends

My friends/housemates are very judgemental when it comes to guys (I have also been known to join in, so I'm not a saint either). They are very focused on if a guys personality is good enough, if they wear the right clothes, or have a good enough body. I've heard them basically call a guy boring after meeting him for 5 minutes, and describe even really good looking guys as unattractive because of one "flaw".

I really want to introduce my new boyfriend to my friends... I'm just terrified he's going to be scrutinised. He is not "their type" (they favour sporty, muscular, extroverted guys) and I'm just worried they are going to judge me and our relationship. I know theyd never say anything to him or me, but I know they'd be talking about it. When I broke up with my ex suddenly all their opinions about him came out and it was a bit humiliating.

I feel like I need to force my boyfriend to act a certain way just to win their approval.

Reply 1

MJ1012

Get better friends... :confused:

Reply 2

Genocidal

Your friends sound like the type of women who favour orange and filling their heads with nothing but air. I highly doubt they're any sort of prize.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Genocidal

Your friends sound like the type of women who favour orange and filling their heads with nothing but air. I highly doubt they're any sort of prize.

They're really not though, we're all relatively intelligent. They are more "edgy" and "cool' than chav. If that makes sense. They're just very opinionated.

Reply 4

Viva Emptiness

Get a spine and get on with it. Why do you even care what they think?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Viva Emptiness

Get a spine and get on with it. Why do you even care what they think?

Because I live with them. Inevitably my boyfriend will be spending time here. If they don't approve I'd feel awkward bringing him over.

Reply 6

Viva Emptiness

Original post by Anonymous

Because I live with them. Inevitably my boyfriend will be spending time here. If they don't approve I'd feel awkward bringing him over.

I still don't understand. You said they'd never say anything to your face anyway, so how will you even know? If you're that ashamed and care that much, leave the poor guy alone.

Reply 7

hslt

Original post by Anonymous

They're really not though, we're all relatively intelligent. They are more "edgy" and "cool' than chav. If that makes sense. They're just very opinionated.

Intelligent people can be filled with air.

Reply 8

xoxAngel_Kxox

Some people are too judgemental for words. I'm quiet when you first meet me, and my boyfriend's group of friends decided I was boring after first meeting me, and stopped inviting me to anything. Now, all of our mutual friends are the ones who were my friends first. It doesn't bother me too much because I love my friends to bits and definitely have enough loving people around me, but it would be nice after almost five years not to be ignored by my partner's "friends" (who he doesn't see because he refused to go to anything that I wasn't invited to when other people's partners were invited). I feel quite guilty because it's not his fault I'm painfully shy - but I WOULD have got better if I'd had the chance!

Anyway.

Sod them. If they can't accept him and be happy for you, tell them where to stick it.

Reply 9

FlavaFavourFruit

Do your friends have partners by any chance? They sound like people I would prefer to be stuck under my shoe.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by FlavaFavourFruit

Do your friends have partners by any chance? They sound like people I would prefer to be stuck under my shoe.

One of them does, but he's what they see as "perfect" so it's hard to compete with that!

Reply 11

username931319

Tell them to stop being *******s?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 12

JaiiStarh

Suck it up and find the confidence to introduce him. You're the one dating him not your friends. If you think you can't do that, find a new boyfriend. Those are your only options really.

Reply 13

MJ1012

Original post by Anonymous

They're really not though, we're all relatively intelligent. They are more "edgy" and "cool' than chav. If that makes sense. They're just very opinionated.

Your friends just aren't very nice people. Don't think they can get away with that because they are "just opinionated".
And anyone who is described as "edgy" and "cool" is probably just annoying and uncool.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 14

Ribbits

Original post by Anonymous

They're really not though, we're all relatively intelligent. They are more "edgy" and "cool' than chav. If that makes sense. They're just very opinionated.

Oh my, I think I can picture the type perfectly if they're anything like the ones I've met... How can you be friends with such liabilities? That's the best way to describe them in my view.

There isn't really an answer to your question. They're horrible people, that's not going to change. Whatever you do, just don't pass on your insecurities about it to your boyfriend, let him be himself and let them be hideous.

Reply 15

stargirl63

They are the ones making it awkward, it doesn't matter what they think. It's easier said than done I know and it's a difficult situation. I can't imagine the type of advice they would give if you needed it if something went wrong or you had an argument. Do they have boyfriends themselves?

Reply 16

llys

They are probably just having a bit of fun or is this really serious? In any case, why do you care what they think? It's not like they are going to tell him to his face and ban him from the flat, are they? If they say something to you, well, then you'll just have to stand up for him, hey?