Long distance relationships?

Ok, I can't believe i'm posting about this but i'd really appreciate an outside perspective/unbiased view on my situation.

Basically I broke up with my b/f who i'd only been with 7 months as he's going travelling for a year and I thought it couldn't possibly work with us not seeing each other for long periods of time.BUT i've not stopped crying since (yes, i'm a loser) and i'm totally heartbroken if i'm honest. I'm going into my final year of uni this year so going with him is not an option so am I right to finish it, not matter how much I wish I didn't have to? Or would an open relationship be better than cutting my ties completely?

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Reply 1

Caribou

1

I think you might find that after an open relationship, things would never return to how they once were.

Reply 2

Louher

OP

Yeah,thought as much. Oh well,guess that confirms it then!

Well thats was pretty simple haha. Cheers!

sorry

I was in a similar-ish position (not a entire year) and we didn't break up, infact it wasn't even something we considered. Admittedly it is bloody hard and you miss them like crazy I always stop and think that at least we will be together when she gets back which makes it all seem worthwhile :smile:

I'd definately not do the whole open relationship thing though and would advise most people against it too.

Reply 5

Louher

OP

Anonymous

I was in a similar-ish position (not a entire year) and we didn't break up, infact it wasn't even something we considered. Admittedly it is bloody hard and you miss them like crazy I always stop and think that at least we will be together when she gets back which makes it all seem worthwhile :smile:

I'd definately not do the whole open relationship thing though and would advise most people against it too.

aww, i'm glad to hear someone's managed it!! I don't want to hinder his experience by him feeling obliged to be faithful to me should he meet someone while he's away - so I thought it was best to just let him go off single and free to do what he wants. But now the selfish part of me wishes i'd kept my mouth shut!

I need to get a grip I think lol

Reply 6

Fleffzilla

3

See if it works. Don't cut it short because you don't think it will work, see what happens in your last year, see what happens when he's away. But keep in touch the whole time.

Talk it through with *him* though, not us. Say you're worried it won't last which is why you stopped it, but you still want him.

If it turns out that it isn't working, then split up, but don't predict it won't work when other people have managed longer.

EDIT: If he finds someone when he's away, then it's up to him what he does. If he wants them more than you, then obviously it's not wise to stay together... My point, basically, is - don't go hunting for someone else, but if you find someone you want more then end it. It's certainly possible to stay together if you both want it enough, so don't give up just because it'll be hard.

Reply 7

Louher

OP

^^^
Thanks for your reply. We've spoke a lot about it and he's said pretty much the same as you and thinks i'm being very pessimistic, I realise I probably am but i'm just concerned for him as well as me - I don't want to hold him back in anyway if that makes sense?

Maybe your right it can't hurt to try :smile:

I know for a fact I don't want to meet anyone else so i'm definately not looking for anyone regardless of whether we stay together or not.

Thanks again, I appreciate it :smile:

Reply 8

Fleffzilla

3

Louher

^^^
Thanks for your reply. We've spoke a lot about it and he's said pretty much the same as you and thinks i'm being very pessimistic, I realise I probably am but i'm just concerned for him as well as me - I don't want to hold him back in anyway if that makes sense?

Maybe your right it can't hurt to try :smile:

I know for a fact I don't want to meet anyone else so i'm definately not looking for anyone regardless of whether we stay together or not.

Thanks again, I appreciate it :smile:

It won't hurt you if you stay together then, will it?
Just make sure he knows that if he meets someone he wants to be with, that you don't want to hold him back. Other than that, keep in touch, and work at it a bit, and it can definitely work out :smile:

Reply 9

AndySoOoOoN

Long distance never works imo.