The Student Room Group

Virginity embarrassment

I'm 19 years old and still haven't lost my virginity. It's shallow but I find this so embarrassing! I hear people openly saying they've had 10 or partners already and I envy them because it's like they're in the exclusive "I am sexual and proud of it" club. I only want to have sex with someone I truly have feelings for, does anyone around my age actually respect this or do they think it's too old-fashioned? I've read comments before on here about people my age waiting to have sex, but how come in reality I never meet anyone else who does this? Do you think some people just lie about the number they've slept with? I'm really worried I'll just never find anyone I actually click with and will be left on the shelf.

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Reply 1
are you M or F?
Anonymous
I only want to have sex with someone I truly have feelings for, does anyone around my age actually respect this or do they think it's too old-fashioned?

I really respect you for this, it's the same choice I've made and it means that your first time will be much more special.

Good luck to you! :smile:
Reply 3
you should be proud of it. its a very rare thing these days to be a virgin at our age. you shouldn't worry because everyone else had sex.
Whats so embarrasing about being a virgin at 19, and whats to be proud of someone whos had 10 sexual partners and saying they are sexually exclusive, don't change your ways stick to waiting till you find the right person, least your not gonna be full of diseases. And if anyone mocks you for being a virgin well they have their own insecurities.
How the hell is that old-fashioned? They will look back on their 10 sexual partners the second they get an ounce of maturity and regret it. You are normal. People lie. You will not be left on the shelf. Do you really need me to say this? I don't think the people of TSR are that bad a sample of real life people, and loads of people will tell you it's normal. I've never had sex. I'm not planning to for some time yet, unless I find someone I truly like enough to.

But don't take my word for it... another 15 people will be along soon to tell you exactly the same. :biggrin:
Reply 6
iz_a_bell
you should be proud of it. its a very rare thing these days to be a virgin at our age. you shouldn't worry because everyone else had sex.

its a good thing! Don't get why people dont see it like that.
tbh, its only as big as you make it out to be. if your like omg im gonna wait for the person i really love etc your gonna hype it up to be some amazing thing when its gonna hurt and not be so good. but if you take it as a non even thing then your expecting less and if its crap its not the end of the world
Reply 8
this type of topic is always tricky because it is down to you, it doesnt matter what other people do, you have nothing to be embaressed about though, yes it still does happen, your not going top get left on the shelf, but i wouldnt personally wait untill your married to have sex, one you may not actually be sexually compatible with your partner so youve gotta find that out, two - you need some practice, you dont want to be crap in bed with the love of your life, three sex is awsome there is no other feeling like it on eath. dont feel pressurised into loosing your virginity, it will happen like you say i hope its with some special - best of luck :biggrin:
I lost my virginity to my boyfriend like 4 days ago; were both 19 and were both virgins. People aren't bothered unless they are really shallow, and if they are bothered, aren't worth you giving them your time!

I'm so glad I waited for someone I really care about; it made it really special.

Don't feel presurised into having sex just because you think everyone else is. Wait until the time is right for you :smile:
Reply 10
There's nothing wrong with you being a virgin, and I congratulate you for your strength!
In my opinion, sex is something which you only do with someone you really have feelings for, not just something you do for the sake of it.
I know of quite a few people who are still likely to be virgins many years from now (even those who have long-term partners), so it's not rare as you might think.
Reply 11
Don't worry about it you're not abnormal :smile: Just don't dwell on it so much, you've nothing to be embaressed about at all.
Hashshashin
I really respect you for this, it's the same choice I've made and it means that your first time will be much more special.

Good luck to you! :smile:


or more boring cos you've built it up in your mind so much the reality will be disapointing.

To the OP,
your a virgin at 19
so what?
Dont worry about it, whilst i dont hold any particular value on virginity feeling its a very outdated load of taboo balony on the same note if you dont want to lose it yet then dont. Doing so, so you will fit in will just make you feel bad. If you dont want to give yourself to anyone yet then dont.
Sex is a great pastime, its healthy and fun however if you doing it becase everyone else is then you wont enjoy it properly the way its meant to be. So dont.
If your friends cant respect your decision on it then sod em, they arnt real friends
good luck whatever you decide
Reply 13
I totally respect that attitude. As GG said, sex and virginity are only as big a deal as you make them. I really wouldn't worry about being a virgin. However, I do think that if you feel you want to wait for the right person, then you should stick with that cos it will make the experience better for you and you won't necessarily be disappointed.

I know quite a few people who are 19 and still virgins, including 2 of my close friends. I have been chatting to them and they both see their virginity as something they want to get rid of, and a burden. One of them was really scared of telling her boyfriend for fear of his reaction (obviously he was fine with it!). As someone who waited for someone I was in love with, I told them I thought they should wait. Obviously they could have sex, but clearly they cared to the extent that they didn't want to sleep with a total randomer, so why not wait for someone they actually really liked? While you don't need to be proud of your virginity, you can be proud of the fact that you're doing what you feel comfortable with and not letting other people's reactions get in the way of that.
Nothing wrong with it really. If you've never liked someone enough or felt comfortable enough to have sex then it's better than if you had uncomfortable sex with people you didn't like, of course!

I'm sure the people who boast about their 10 partners didn't have very satisfactory sex with many of them - otherwise surely they would've stayed with someone if they were that amazing!
Reply 15
Thank you so much everyone, you've all really reassured me. I'm not anti-sex before marriage or anything like that and I'm not completely frigid, it's just that I want to feel loved when I do have sex rather than just be a fling for someone. I think the reason I have difficulty with being a virgin is become I'm progressing in other areas of my life and maturing, and yet I still feel like a little girl for being so inexperienced!

To Anonymous 2: congrats. That's exactly the way I want it to be. :smile:
Im 20 and a virgin, it bugs me because it means I can't have a one night stand or anything, I really want sex but now I have to wait until I really like a guy or else I'l regret it. I want sex now though:frown:
Anonymous
To Anonymous 2: congrats. That's exactly the way I want it to be. :smile:
Ahh poo, I bet you all saw my huge mistake by not posting anon! But thankyou :smile: I'm so glad it happened like that! If you wait until you've found someone you really love and care for, your first time will be amazing!
I know i'm only 15, but i like to consider myself mature for my age, and well, some of my friends have already lost their virginity. I feel no pressure whatsoever, and i dont intend to lose mine until my late teens at LEAST lol. Don't worry. I respect you for it, and so will everyone else. :smile:
Wait until you are ready, and have found someone really care about.
:smile: xoxox all the best!
Reply 19
Random-Anime-Girlie<3
I know i'm only 15, but i like to consider myself mature for my age, and well, some of my friends have already lost their virginity. I feel no pressure whatsoever, and i dont intend to lose mine until my late teens at LEAST lol. Don't worry. I respect you for it, and so will everyone else. :smile:
Wait until you are ready, and have found someone really care about.
:smile: xoxox all the best!


Good girl, at least wait until it's legal!