well i went out tonight for my sisters 21st and it was going cool then my sister and all the people i knew (well kinda knew) went to a club i absolutely hate so wouldnt inflict my company on them so i stayed in the pub and was left there with two groups one i didnt know at all (despite a really stunning girl who had been smiling at me the whole night) i didnt feel right just jumping into their convo as i really didnt know them at all im a cocky git but i have manners but the other was my brothers group and the last time i made friends with any of them he had an embolysm he was giving me daggers when i talking to the two rockers in the group put it this way i did linken park paper cut at kareoke and he was the only one who said it was crap
everyone else wanted me to do another one
anyway i sat there like a lemon for ten minutes and then left and as i walked home it occured to me that no one ever wants to go where i want to go when i left work i had to go to somplace that i thought everyone would show up to and only three people did and though it was still a great night out and i got hammered the fact that only three showed up out of about 40 who said they would was kinda a bummer
and then i rememebred that for one of my birthdays no one and i mean no one showed up for it i was left in the pub with my gf on my own on my bday one of the people who said they would come was in the pub down the road i ask my mom and dad to come out to gigs and for my birthday and such and they never do. Im a pillar for many people but it does seem that no one is mine.
I dont get like this very often but when it does it it hits hard, I'll probably get up in the morning and think what the hell was i like last night, but right now i feel like blubbing into my pillow
sorry for this peeps i just felt the need to bitch