The Student Room Group

Forget her and call the other girl?

I'm absolutely crazy about this girl I met a while ago. Things happened but then ended. We're still in touch but she doesn't seem to want to see me. She's a really amazing girl and I find her fascinating but she just brushes off any attempt I make at seeing her. I've decided that it's not doing any good for my health to be chasing after someone who's just messing me around.

Now there's this girl I met a few weeks ago in a club. I thought she was rather cute but to be honest, the only reason I approached her was because she was so clearly interested and that night I was feeling a bit down. She gave me her number and insisted I call her. I never did... I feel like I should call the girl just out of courtesy but then if I do, I'm wondering if she's going to find it insulting (I didn't call her for several weeks) or she'll get the idea I'm really interested. But I feel like this would be a way of getting over the aforementioned girl.

Any ideas?
Morally wrong as it is, people in clubs probably don't really expect you to phone them when you say you will. She'll have been back and done the same to countless people in your shoes. If not, well, then you're under yet more moral obligation not to give her the wrong impression.
Reply 2
Well, show some regard for the feelings of the girl who's interested. It's not nice to be a rebound. Don't play with her feelings - if you're not interested in her, don't call her. She only met you once - she's probably forgotten about you.

As for the other girl - yes, smart of you to realise it's unhealthy for you. But getting a rebound is not gonna help you get over her. Why don't you simply take your mind off her by hanging out with lots of friends etc?
Reply 3
irisng
Well, show some regard for the feelings of the girl who's interested. It's not nice to be a rebound. Don't play with her feelings - if you're not interested in her, don't call her. She only met you once - she's probably forgotten about you.

As for the other girl - yes, smart of you to realise it's unhealthy for you. But getting a rebound is not gonna help you get over her. Why don't you simply take your mind off her by hanging out with lots of friends etc?


thanks for the post (thanks generalebriety too for the thing about clubs).
Yes I know it seems a bit stupid that I'm thinking about her. I just don't move from person to person like most people do. She was quite a fun kind of girl without being overly bubbly. Even if I wasn't interested, I could see her as a friend.
I agree with you about the friends but I don't have such great friends around here (I was with friends when I met her though).
Anonymous
thanks for the post (thanks generalebriety too for the thing about clubs).
Yes I know it seems a bit stupid that I'm thinking about her. I just don't move from person to person like most people do. She was quite a fun kind of girl without being overly bubbly. Even if I wasn't interested, I could see her as a friend.
I agree with you about the friends but I don't have such great friends around here (I was with friends when I met her though).

No problem. And it's not stupid at all... everyone thinks about people they've split up with or used to like. If you don't have many friends, go back to the club (or another one), or go shopping, or go on holiday, or make some friends! Do something to take your mind off it - you'll always occasionally think about it, but it'll make the transition easier.
Reply 5
generalebriety
No problem. And it's not stupid at all... everyone thinks about people they've split up with or used to like. If you don't have many friends, go back to the club (or another one), or go shopping, or go on holiday, or make some friends! Do something to take your mind off it - you'll always occasionally think about it, but it'll make the transition easier.


I have plenty of friends, just not around here. I was thinking about going on holiday but I've done that in the past... just feel worse when coming back. The thing is, I actually have quite a few girls interested, just noone I am incredibly attracted to. The really stupid thing is that these girls actually seem more and more interested as I become more of an arsehole and don't bother keeping in touch: I'll get a random call or text a month along the line telling me they've missed me, would like to hear from me.

Any guy would say that I'm a complete prat and that I could be playing the field. Instead I end up thinking about the same girl weeks on end.
I am a guy. You're not a prat. Trust me, you would be more of a prat if you ended up going out with people you weren't attracted to - playing on their feelings is never the most noble thing in the world. See it from their point of view - they're attracted to you, about as much as you're attracted to your ex, but you know you can't act on your feelings and they know they can't act on theirs, and like you, they will get over it too. It's not the end of the world - don't feel guilty because you can't make them feel better, because you would only end up making them feel worse, like this girl would make you feel worse if you got together and 3 months into it you found out she didn't like you and had only done it because she felt guilty.

They might miss you now but if they knew that it would all end in tears (as you know yourself if you're honest) they would back off... you have a moral duty not to let yourself and them get sucked into a relationship that's not going to work. :smile:

Give it time... it gets easier.
Reply 7

If she doesnt want to see you, you should really take the hint? Might as well give the other girl a call anyway? no harm in keeping your options open. You'll probably end up getting to know the other girl, then the original girl who didnt want to see you, will want to as you wont be paying her so much attention. It works out like that.
Reply 8
erm im srry to say mate tht it kinda not rite to call up da girl after she gave u a number like a few weeks ago. She prbs wont even remember u and out of sight is out of mind or however tht saying goes. i think u shud forget the girl tht ur after so much cus she seems to be stringing you along. if its guna happen let her make the moves on you.

jus go out and get to know sum otha girls, plus mayb next time u shud try arrange a date with the person u jus met, as its a good chance to gt to know them beta and then ur more likely to start to chat over the phone to meet agen. but hey thts jus an idea so i mite be chatting a load of ....
Anonymous
I'm absolutely crazy about this girl I met a while ago. Things happened but then ended. We're still in touch but she doesn't seem to want to see me. She's a really amazing girl and I find her fascinating but she just brushes off any attempt I make at seeing her. I've decided that it's not doing any good for my health to be chasing after someone who's just messing me around.

Now there's this girl I met a few weeks ago in a club. I thought she was rather cute but to be honest, the only reason I approached her was because she was so clearly interested and that night I was feeling a bit down. She gave me her number and insisted I call her. I never did... I feel like I should call the girl just out of courtesy but then if I do, I'm wondering if she's going to find it insulting (I didn't call her for several weeks) or she'll get the idea I'm really interested. But I feel like this would be a way of getting over the aforementioned girl.


"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her". Great quote and your answer!
Reply 10
mancsmithsfan
"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her". Great quote and your answer!


Nice quote. But I'm getting contradictory replies here. It's not even like there's even one girl in question. Quite a few old friends who had seemed to have a thing for me have been sending me texts. I could just start hanging out with them as friends but I just feel like it's going to put me in a difficult situation.
Reply 11
Still haven't called the girl :frown:
Anonymous
I'm absolutely crazy about this girl I met a while ago. Things happened but then ended. We're still in touch but she doesn't seem to want to see me. She's a really amazing girl and I find her fascinating but she just brushes off any attempt I make at seeing her. I've decided that it's not doing any good for my health to be chasing after someone who's just messing me around.

Now there's this girl I met a few weeks ago in a club. I thought she was rather cute but to be honest, the only reason I approached her was because she was so clearly interested and that night I was feeling a bit down. She gave me her number and insisted I call her. I never did... I feel like I should call the girl just out of courtesy but then if I do, I'm wondering if she's going to find it insulting (I didn't call her for several weeks) or she'll get the idea I'm really interested. But I feel like this would be a way of getting over the aforementioned girl.

Any ideas?


Call them both you P.I.M.P. If you cant choose between them, have both of them.
Reply 13
The first one, no point. She's into ******s so I might as well give up.
Just call the other one then. Confidence my man, girls love it, and one way to show this woud be call her and ask her if she wants to meet up some time (dont make a point of it being a date, as she may feel a bit weird bout it otherwise, seein as you havnt called her for a while). Just say you wanna get to know her better.
Reply 15
RogueTrader
Just call the other one then. Confidence my man, girls love it, and one way to show this woud be call her and ask her if she wants to meet up some time (dont make a point of it being a date, as she may feel a bit weird bout it otherwise, seein as you havnt called her for a while). Just say you wanna get to know her better.


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