Starting to like my ex :/

My ex and I split up last August on more or less mutual grounds (we both had reasons to split up, nothing too harsh, we decided to just be 'friends'). A few months after this we started to dislike each other quite a bit but eventually it turned around and we were actually mates.

For the past month or so, I've started getting feelings for her. I don't exactly know why either. In my eyes we've been getting a bit closer for this time (which is probably why I've started getting feelings for her again?). Around school we're always close, often sitting next to each other on the sofas hugging/holding one another, sometimes holding hands while on them, etc...

I told her about this (the whole me liking her again thing) a couple of nights ago and she just said it was "flattering". I'm 17 and from my point of view thats a somewhat sarcastic comment, something like "and?" maybe?

We went out tonight (5 of us in total), had a bit of a laugh. Went the cinema, held hands (which tbh isn't something that special) then came home. Nothing really happened.

I'm not really sure what to do? I like her and all, but I'm led to believe she just isn't interested (in me) anymore. She has recently been played around a bit by a lad (long story short, he basically got her hopes up, then took off with some other girl right in front of her) so she's pretty upset at the moment (she told me this as we were walking home tonight) so I'm not sure if she just needs time to get over the whole thing (she's not upset over the lad, she's upset over what he did, just to add to the story).

Was going to text her tonight and just ask her how she feels (about me) but I just got in 30 mins ago and we were both tired so will leave it until tomorrow maybe. I might seem a little "too soon" to be asking that also, so might leave it a few days rather than asking her tomorrow or so, but I'm really not sure.

Anyone give any advice? :confused:

Reply 1

Bubblebee

15

I'm a bit in your ex's situation to be honest. I've just become good mates with my x again and I know he has started getting feelings for me. He told me when he was drunk and it's pretty obvious. The thing is, for me at least that ship has sailed. If you broke up once chances are it won't work another time around. Why not just be satisfied as friends? You don't want to loose her completely do you?

Reply 2

username47781

20

Yeha i agree i'm not sure it would work again plus she seems happy to play the field a bit now and also she said she's not interested no more

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Bubblebee

I'm a bit in your ex's situation to be honest. I've just become good mates with my x again and I know he has started getting feelings for me. He told me when he was drunk and it's pretty obvious. The thing is, for me at least that ship has sailed. If you broke up once chances are it won't work another time around. Why not just be satisfied as friends? You don't want to loose her completely do you?

Carl1982

Yeha i agree i'm not sure it would work again plus she seems happy to play the field a bit now and also she said she's not interested no more

To be completely fair, these are are the things I've had playing on my mind (the whole 'chances are it won't work out again' thing). I'm completely fine being mates with her, but I'm sure it'd hurt inside for whatever reason.

Also, she didn't say she wasn't interested (if she did I'd have no problems with that at all). It's just a feeling I've got, tis all.

Ooh I don't know! arrg :frown:

Reply 4

username47781

20

Maybe have a chat with her then, you never know till you ask maybe she'll give it another try.

Reply 5

Bubblebee

15

I'd say, don't hit on her, infact don't mention it until there is defo somthing threre.

Like, when you cuddle does she do it they way she used to? Spend loads of time with her and maybe things will sort themselves out! :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Carl1982

Maybe have a chat with her then, you never know till you ask maybe she'll give it another try.

Was what I was going to do, but I don't want to seem like a persistent (not sure if that's the right word?) / desperate guy. So another issue would be how long should I leave it until I talked to her about this.

I think a starting point might be to say it was a good night and we should do it again sometime...? See how things go from there maybe.

I'm usually good at sorting out problems but why am I so crap at sorting out my ownnnn damnit :frown:

Reply 7

MattG

1

make a decision and stick to it, just spend a decent amount of time weighing up the pros and cons of both options.

I can imagine it being the feeling of "familiar terrority" you know what you are getting and you know what went wrong so it seems easier to go back to it, more secure and less risk? very appealing if you want to be with someone.

Starting to like my ex :/

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