Paying rent/contribution to parents

I was just wondering what everyone elses experiences/thoughts on this topic were. I'm 17, in sixth form and have a part time/summer job. Now suddenly my mum keeps mentioning the fact that I ought to contribute to the family food bill because I'm earning. She seemed resentful that I was trying to save money on lunch during working days by taking in a packed lunch from home.

I was planning to save for uni/car/own spending money. Is she being perfectly reasonable to ask for a contribution? Am I sponging off my parents? I kinda thought since I was under 18 and still at school it was okay for them to pay for my food, or do I expect too much? Very few of my friends work and none have to pay anything to their parents, in fact most of their parents are paying for (at least some of) their uni expenses. My parents are not rich, but they are hardly poor.

At first I felt hurt and unwanted, then I thought maybe she has a point?

Please add your thoughts.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

To be fair I think that's a bit harsh. You're only 17, you're still at school, you shouldn't be having to give up your money (unless your family's a bit stuck for money at the minute, in which case I suppose it's reasonable for your parents to want any help they can get - but if you're not in financial troubles, I don't think it's fair).

I always think I'd be seriously peed off if my parents expected that from me - they bring you into the world, you're not an adult yet, they should still be looking after you, it's their job!

Maybe if they were insisting you contribute to things you buy, eg. clothes, cds or whatever, or if they made you pay towards things such as your car or extra-curricular activities that would be ok. But for necessities? Food? That's a bit tight!

Reply 2

toffee2

1

As soon as I hit 18 my parents started hinting they wanted money off me but I just never bothered getting a job, instead I had to do loads of extra things around the house. Ive started paying 25 pound a week recently now but that wont last for long because my familys moving to another town after summer and ive just dropped out of uni because i was doing toss at it and getting my own place here soon. I think theyre right to start asking for it when you hit 18 in my opinion, u are officaly an adult then but it does depend on the parents you have. Some people i know havent paid a penny towards thier parents yet like one guy just got a car brought for him but tohers have been paying for quite a bit now, my best mate has been ever since we left school. I think the best thing to do is discuss with them and be prepared to pay a certain amount, if you have a part time job 20-30 pounds a week isnt really that much and its a lot less than what youd be paying if you were living on your own. And it made me feel like not wanted when my parents first asked for money but I think part of it is just them thinking "right hes getting older now he should be paying his way" not them not wanting you to live there.

Reply 3

generalebriety

16

toffee2

As soon as I hit 18 my parents started hinting they wanted money off me but I just never bothered getting a job, instead I had to do loads of extra things around the house. Ive started paying 25 pound a week recently now but that wont last for long because my familys moving to another town after summer and ive just dropped out of uni because i was doing toss at it and getting my own place here soon. I think theyre right to start asking for it when you hit 18 in my opinion, u are officaly an adult then but it does depend on the parents you have. Some people i know havent paid a penny towards thier parents yet like one guy just got a car brought for him but tohers have been paying for quite a bit now, my best mate has been ever since we left school. I think the best thing to do is discuss with them and be prepared to pay a certain amount, if you have a part time job 20-30 pounds a week isnt really that much and its a lot less than what youd be paying if you were living on your own. And it made me feel like not wanted when my parents first asked for money but I think part of it is just them thinking "right hes getting older now he should be paying his way" not them not wanting you to live there.

An adult in full-time education.

I considered myself an adult from about the age of 15 but I don't plan to start paying my share in anything till I'm 19 and at university. I pay for my own things, my mum pays for food. She gets loads more money than me anyway and does less work (unemployed, while I'm earning A-levels). I would not be a happy bunny if suddenly she told me she wanted my money for food too, especially after the amount I've given and lent her in the past, and the fact that I'm going to university soon and need all the money I can get, whereas when I leave she'll be paying half the amount of money on food, spending nothing on the internet connection, and spending less time doing housework like doing the dishes or ironing/washing my clothes. :confused:

I would help out financially but I can't afford to, and if I gave her my money I'd have none to lend her when she was in financial difficulty - she owes me over £500 now. I would even help out around the house if she had a job. Call it sexism if you like - I'd do the same to my dad if he was unemployed and I spent 8 hours a day saturating my brain. Under the circumstances, I would be nothing short of insulted if my mum asked me to pay.

Reply 4

Jen2327

1

Hmmmm
It is a tad harsh esp because ur saving for uni etc etc.

Im now 18, had a job since i was 14, I earn a fair bit tbh, and my parents have never asked me for anything, but they do expect me tosave a little for uni.

Maybe you should ask your mum, why? as its not as tho its a full time job, and explainur trying to save for uni.
Are your parents giving u money for uni?
Maybe they dontrealise thats what your saving for?

My parents I think would expect me to pay a bit a week if I was working full time,
They said they will when i come out of uni and on my feet abit.
My parents are payin the 9 grand for my fees?
Maybe im jst lucky?

Maybe you could suggest doing a few extra jobs? that way you keep your money and keep ya mum happy.
Maybe start a uni account to prove 2 ur mum ur saving, and explain how hard up ur gona be and ur a little worried about it maybe?

Jen xx

Reply 5

silverbolt

19

i think its perfectly reasonable that if your earning you should contribute something to the upkeep of the house. Of course you are saving for uni so just maybe budget better.
When i got a part time job at fifteen i had to pay some upkeep. Its been the same pretty much ever since.
You will have to pay rent when you move away to uni
might as well get in the practice

Reply 6

u_cheeky_girl

i started paying £50 a week rent at 16, i was at 6th form so it was quite difficult working and studying....in fact i really ****ed up my exams and had no time, i thought this was so harsh of my parents especially because they are not having money troubles at all,but saying this at least i can say i can look after money and am not spoilt.

Reply 7

Rainbow_Chick

1

When 18 my mum asked me to put money towards my food bill. I pay £15 a week i dont have a problem with it but maybe thats because its not much however i do contribute to the housework. It think my mum asks for money to help me learn how to manage money.

Reply 8

Bubblebee

15

I don't pay anything toward the house, but I do earn my own money to buy clothes and cd's and computor ect. So I don't see it as unreasonable.

If I stayed living with my parents after uni then I would defo contribute.

Reply 9

AT82

I don't pay rent, but I always pay for the car repair bills and am always giving my parents loans. I also do any plumbing/electrical work which needs doing which saves my parents a fortune.

Reply 10

tbm

13

I used to contribute towards the household costs when I was 17/18, I just used to give my mum some money every now and again towards the food or whatever, or occassionally I did the weekly shop and paid for it. I also paid for any lifts I used to have before I passed my driving test.

I think its only fair that if you are working, you should contribute something, perhaps your parents are trying to show you the cost of living before you go out into the 'real world' and have to be independent?

Reply 11

Seeks

my parents are charging rent as soon as i get a job :frown:

doesnt make me want to go get a job now does it

Reply 12

newDana

1

When i was on my gap year between school and Uni i was working full time and my mum asked me to pay rent then. £200 a month which i thought was really harsh at the time, but it turns out that she was putting that money into a high interest savings account for me so that when i leave uni i have a little bit of money to get started with. She's a sly woman my mother, she knew i'd never manage to save over 2 grand by myself so told me i was paying rent!

I think it's a bit harsh of your parents to be hinting at you paying them money. If they want it - they should ask for it! It's not up to you to offer really, you're still a child.

Reply 13

BlackHawk

17

I paid £50 a week when I was your age and working part time. I thought it massivly unreasonable at the time, but now that my little brother is your gae and going through the same thing I see their point.

You're able to go out and work now and start earning your way. By them charging you rent it won't be such a big shock when you have to leave home and fend for yourself. Also, it's not easy for parents to constantly fork out money for things.

My parents, without my knowledge, saved all the money and presented it to me when I left home. They may do the same for you.

Reply 14

Apricot Fairy

16

If you're 17 and in full-time education your parents will still be getting child benefit for you. It was their decision to have children. Try, in as calm and adult a way as you can, to remind them of this.

Reply 15

loser88

12

This is a very relevant issue in my household at the moment. There have bee soem rather messy court cases with my parents etc. etc. but it appears they will be supporting me through Uni, I do have to pay rent, bills, food etc. now- but it's out of the money they give me (through the courts) and I won't have to when I go and live in London*fingers crossed*!! I can't WAIT to get out! :biggrin:

I feel at the age of 17 it's a bit harsh- as someone else said- remind them they did decide to have you- if you want to cause a problem ask if you were an accident or something/adopted and see how they feel. Good luck! :smile:

Reply 16

hugatree

11

This is so weird... I'm 20 and still get pocket money and my mum is by no means rich! I'm going to uni and don't have a job cos I don't really need it as uni is sort of free.
IMO you should only pay to live it home once you get a full-time job and haven't moved out yet, or if they are poor and need you to help them out.

Reply 17

Rooftopcowboy

12

Apricot Fairy

If you're 17 and in full-time education your parents will still be getting child benefit for you. It was their decision to have children. Try, in as calm and adult a way as you can, to remind them of this.

id agree with this, they were the ones that decided to have a child, and i find it very harsh that they are demanding money when you are only 17!! when you wont even be earning the 18yearold minimum wage rate etc

i think 17year olds should help out a lot though, and do other chores, but not contribute financially, id be mad if my parents made me pay for rent.

Reply 18

aleathiel

16

I worked quite a few hours over the summer when I was 18 so was giving my parents £20 a week but then said to them as I was going back to college and needed money for that could I not give them that money and they said fine. My stepdad got a bit funny with me once and mum had a go at him back cos when his daughter was 25 she lived with us and was paying £25 a week rent, well that was the plan cos she'd give them £20 and say she would give the other £5 later and never did heh happened a few times,..

anyway if you're 17 they really shouldnt expect that from you especially if you're saving for uni so sit them down and explain :smile:

Reply 19

Jen2327

1

its shocking how many of you are asked to contribute??

Paying rent/contribution to parents

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