Are people at home willing to make new friends?

hi
basically, i'm in my second year at uni and am back home for the summer. At school i had a really tight group of about 6 friends, and since then our group has drifted and people have changed and made new friends. but i haven't but am ok friends with them still. so this summer i thought i'd see what some of my old group's friends are like and try to make friends with them.

my 2 friends new friends are people who were in our year at school but i never really were friends with them. so they know who i am, and when we were a lot younger we used to be friends, but for some reason or another we weren't friends by year 10 ish (when my really tight group of firends formed).
i was at a gig yesterday with my other friend who is feeling a bit like me, friendless, and this whole group of these people were there, minus my friends (who were in my tight group). they totally blanked us, they obviously saw us and knew who we were. i thought that's they at least be friendly and say hi or at least smile?? i thought since everyone has been to uni, they would be always in 'making new friends' mode?

that's really put me off wanting to make friends with these people but i really want to. so really what i'm trying to ask is, when you're at home, how would you react to someone you haven't really seen in 2 years? if i went to more social events that my friends have been invited to (but i haven't directly), do you think they would bother to talk to me/be friendly?

sorry, this sounds the most sad and pathetic thing ever, but it really ruined my night last nite and i really did not expect them to act like this!

xxxx

Reply 1

Bubblebee

To be honest, I can't stand 99% of my 6th form and I'm glad to see the back of them, however it seems to have struck hard that we are all going seperate ways now and a few people have been nicer to me in the last few weeks that the whole of the last 5 years. I hate people like that and I would just say sod it to these people. If they couldn't be arsed to be mates before then why should you try it now.

Sorry about how blunt that is, but it's how I feel!

Reply 2

tbm

I think its difficult when you havent seen people for a long time, especially if you were never really 'proper' friends with them. It makes it equally difficult if you all know who people are but were never really friends, as you dont know what has been said between who in the past, if that makes sense.

I hardly keep in contact with anyone from school/college, I have two close friends who I am still in contact with and about 3 others who are on my 'xmas card list', but apart from that I dont bother. People who were total arseholes to me in school have since tried to contact me, being all sweet and nice, but whats the point?! If they treated me like crap back then, I cant see them being any different now!

If these people are like that then I wouldnt bother, its not worth wasting your time worrying over.

Reply 3

fairycakes

thanx for your replies,

it just really annoying cos you hear of all these things they're doing and how much fun they're having and it make syou feel worse.

i have changed now tho, i was soo shy in 6th form, and partly the reason i ddin't talk to them was i wasn't in any lessons wit them so i really diddn't know what to say, i found it so hard to make new friends. i wasn't mean to anyone.

since going to uni, i have a lot more confidence, but coming back home has brought the 'home' feelings back and i'm doubting my confidence now.

should i still not bother??

xxxx

Reply 4

silence

i'd be more in the 'uni making friends mood' as you described; but, if you weren't that friendly with someone when you were at school with them, that is, seeing them every day for a good few years, there was probably a reason that you weren't too friendly at the time.

i know that's a bit of a pessimistic view to take and that people do change/become more mature, but i can't see myself becoming great friends with people who i've previously had about 7 years worth of opportunity to befriend previously. that said, blanking someone you know, such as someone you used to go to school with, is just totally rude. i saw someone a few months ago who i went to school with and didn't really talk to then, but we managed to have friendly conversation when we saw each other. though there is a difference between that general friendly chit chat and making an actual new friend.

Reply 5

Madlib

fairycakes

hi
basically, i'm in my second year at uni and am back home for the summer. At school i had a really tight group of about 6 friends, and since then our group has drifted and people have changed and made new friends. but i haven't but am ok friends with them still. so this summer i thought i'd see what some of my old group's friends are like and try to make friends with them.

my 2 friends new friends are people who were in our year at school but i never really were friends with them. so they know who i am, and when we were a lot younger we used to be friends, but for some reason or another we weren't friends by year 10 ish (when my really tight group of friends formed).
i was at a gig yesterday with my other friend who is feeling a bit like me, friendless, and this whole group of these people were there, minus my friends (who were in my tight group). they totally blanked us, they obviously saw us and knew who we were. i thought that's they at least be friendly and say hi or at least smile?? i thought since everyone has been to uni, they would be always in 'making new friends' mode?

that's really put me off wanting to make friends with these people but i really want to. so really what i'm trying to ask is, when you're at home, how would you react to someone you haven't really seen in 2 years? if i went to more social events that my friends have been invited to (but i haven't directly), do you think they would bother to talk to me/be friendly?

sorry, this sounds the most sad and pathetic thing ever, but it really ruined my night last nite and i really did not expect them to act like this!

xxxx

hmmm... ''friends''