What exactly are you supposed to do as a physically unattractive guy who wants a gf?

I'm not a physically attractive person, there's no denying that. Yes it's subjective to a certain extent, but there are certain things that are all but universally unattractive - bad skin & teeth, moobs, a big bulbous nose etc, and I am unfortunate enough to be afflicted with several of them. A lot of this stuff really isn't fixable, at least not without resorting to extreme and expensive surgical methods. I know that there is a lot more to relationships than just physical attraction, but to get beyond the initial stages and onto really getting to know each other as people there has to be some measure of physical attraction there in the first place.

I'm not bitter about my situation because I can see it from the other perspective; if I were a girl I'd probably disregard, or at least limit to friend zone material, the male version of myself too. But my question is; now what am I supposed to do? Almost everything important in life eventually comes down to love, relationships and family. If you want nice things; clothes, a car etc, it's mainly about attracting potential partners. If you want a good career it's a lot to do with being able to provide for your partner and family to give them a good life and future. Or at least for me it is. None of it seems worthwhile when I've no chance of finding somebody to do it all for or to share it all with. I am consequently without purpose and without motivation. I just don't know what to do with my life. :sigh:

tl;dr I'm an unattractive guy who wants nothing more than someone to love and to share my life with. But with that seemingly forever out of reach I simply don't know what to do with myself. How can I find purpose and meaning in my lonely empty existence?

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Reply 1

r_u_jelly

find a physically unattractive girl ? :smile:

Reply 2

Flexa

Funny is the new sexy.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by r_u_jelly

find a physically unattractive girl ? :smile:

I'm not sure it works like that. Just because a girl might be physically unattractive herself, it doesn't mean she's going to be attracted to an unattractive guy.

Reply 4

Tai Ga

Look for a girl who's equally unattractive? :dontknow:

This will probably sound horrible, but I think there are dating sites catered for uglier people.

Reply 5

Sharif Chowdhury

Exercise and eat healthier. Simple.

Reply 6

reddevil93

Original post by Tai Ga

Look for a girl who's equally unattractive? :dontknow:

This will probably sound horrible, but I think there are dating sites catered for uglier people.

Hahahahahaha I'M DYING !

Reply 7

peasandqueues

Original post by Tai Ga

Look for a girl who's equally unattractive? :dontknow:

This will probably sound horrible, but I think there are dating sites catered for uglier people.

this is true theres one called the ugly bug ball

Reply 8

r_u_jelly

Original post by Anonymous

I'm not sure it works like that. Just because a girl might be physically unattractive herself, it doesn't mean she's going to be attracted to an unattractive guy.

Have you considered plastic surgery to fix your nose? How tall are you, age ?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by r_u_jelly

Have you considered plastic surgery to fix your nose? How tall are you, age ?

Yes I've considered it. But if I was going to go down that route I'd probably have to get other stuff done too. Getting one thing fixed in isolation seems a bit pointless because I don't think it'd make all that much difference.

And I'm 5 ft 11 and 24 yrs old.

Reply 10

llys

Do you have other "hot" qualities, e.g. are you a very talented musician? Very funny? Very intelligent?

Reply 11

r_u_jelly

Original post by Anonymous

If you can afford it maybe get it all fixed :dice:

Whats your job and degree

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by llys

Do you have other "hot" qualities, e.g. are you a very talented musician? Very funny? Very intelligent?

I'm pretty intelligent and reasonably funny (in a Jack Dee kind of way) but nothing out of the ordinary.

Reply 13

Are you Shaw?

Original post by r_u_jelly

find a physically unattractive girl ? :smile:

This sounds like a good idea at first, but would you really date your partner just because they were a physically unattractive person and you couldn't do any better? That does not sound like a happy relationship to me.

Maybe you should attend social groups and talk to people you share similar interests with, not all attractive women are shallow although they prefer someone physically attractive over unattractive (unless they have some weird fetish? must be some right?), anyway I guess you need to look at what you can do, what you can't do is complain because that will just stagnate your situation, do what you can do, cultivate your interests and intellect, improve your humour (if you can), put yourself in a few social situations you're uncomfortable with (how about flirting with attractive girls on holiday you'll never see them again), and then at least you can say: 'I tried' and that is an attractive trait.

Reply 14

Potential Trigger

Like for like, ugly with ugly.

Also get jacked, dress well, cologne e.t.c and be confident-you may get one outside your league. That will help to an extent but yeah looks are key.

Get ripped?

1. Start going to the gym regularly. Work out. After some time you'll have a hot body.
2. Get a GOOD haircut. Ask your friends to be honest about this.
3. If you have spots, get some spot treatment. If not, still take good care of your skin by moisturising, etc.
4. Go to the dentist about your teeth, if they're yellow get them whitened, and even though it'll cost a bomb I do recommend braces as teeth are very noticeable and if they're vile it's gonna be difficult for you.
5. Wear a nice cologne and make sure you've always got clean nails.
6. Stay being funny.
7. If you can afford it, get a nose job.

A lot of this IS fixable with time and effort and sadly money.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by Potential Trigger

Like for like, ugly with ugly.

People keep saying that, but doesn't it seem ridiculous to deliberately seek out women that I find unattractive to start a relationship with? What kind of basis is that to build a relationship on?

Plus, I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but what about any children we might have in the future? I wouldn't want to inflict the same lonliness and misery that I've suffered due to the way I look on my own children.

Reply 18

llys

Oh yes, get your teeth fixed (braces or veneers, whitening, whatever you need). A nice smile works wonders, even if you have a large nose. Teeth are probably the most important thing you can fix (and most people do it so there is no stigma attached to it).

Do you have friends?

If you are intelligent, funny, and able to maintain friendships, then you don't need to seek out a girl you think is unattractive (that is a bit silly anyway). You should be able to find someone. Try speed-dating maybe?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 19

stacemiddleton

I agree with one of the other commenters, make people laugh. I think one of the most attractive qualities a person can have is making you laugh.

I agree looks do factor in but beauty isn't an absolute concept certain people believe someone is attractive whereas others might not i.e some people are attracted to guys with tattoos and piercings, myself I can't stand them. It's all subjective. Just be yourself and someone will eventually come along who loves you for it :smile: