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bf overanalyzes arguments

My boyfriend always likes to analyze arguments while I hate it. It's strange, because it's usually the girl who "likes to talk". He always says "we need to talk" and that makes me feel like **** until the talk is over. Even when he says "it's not your fault" or "i am not trying to accuse you", I feel like he means the exact opposite. Last time I saw him he said that our conversations have gotten "different than before" and "strange". We'll talk about this tomorrow, probably. How should I behave?

sometimes I make a joke during these conversations and he doesn't laugh and it's embarassing. I am capable of saying "sorry" and meaning it, but he takes everything very seriously.

Reply 1

Lewisy-boy

11

well i have a friend who over analyses everything, not just arguments and he aint my boyfriend (duh!!)... trust me it really is annoying and i could never get that close to someone who talks that much ****.

Reply 2

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

My boyfriend always likes to analyze arguments while I hate it. It's strange, because it's usually the girl who "likes to talk". He always says "we need to talk" and that makes me feel like **** until the talk is over. Even when he says "it's not your fault" or "i am not trying to accuse you", I feel like he means the exact opposite. Last time I saw him he said that our conversations have gotten "different than before" and "strange". We'll talk about this tomorrow, probably. How should I behave?

sometimes I make a joke during these conversations and he doesn't laugh and it's embarassing. I am capable of saying "sorry" and meaning it, but he takes everything very seriously.

sounds like he should learn how to relax a bit. Just do the silence thing, his plan of attack will then fail as your boyfriend freud there, wont have anything to analyse.

Reply 3

mangomaz

14

My ex used to do that all the time. Well, not overanalysing arguments, but I might say the smallest thing and he'd be convinced that it rooted from a much larger problem and would keep asking what the matter was. So I would think 'oh crap maybe there is a problem!' and it would get me all worried if I wasnt before and it would be like an awful vicious circle. It always got sorted out though in the end so its cool, just all felt a bit unnecessary! :p:

Reply 4

juicy_lgd

im like this! the bfs learned to love it haha

...

Listen to him and don't make light of a conversation he's obviously taking seriously?

Reply 7

fairycakes

12

i do this too...

i do it tho cos i just want everything out in the open and to know exactly what the other person is thinking on the subject and why. maybe that's why he's doing it and thinks you just not opening up?

Reply 8

sheryl06

1

I also seem to be a member of this club it seems. Althoug I didn't realise this until my bf pointed it out. :hmmmm:

Reply 9

username47781

20

Why does he have to do that, surely if an argument happens you just learn from it and move on and try not to let it happen too often.

Reply 10

NViasko

Well, tell him not to over-analyse.

Reply 11

Lewisy-boy

11

Start yawning and say "shut the hell up dont talk so much crap think about it dont tell me!!" or something, if it annoys you that much end it.

Reply 12

M'Lady

12

Sometimes I can be like how you have described your boyfriend. If my boyfriend says certain things I get really wound up and worried a few key phrases which do this are "I don't care" "whatever" and "meh". In my case it's to do with insecurities because I have been let down alot in the past and it's really difficult to let go of that. I need constant reassurance and so far it's worked, I know this can be annoying.

I know this, hehe.

OP

Start yawning and say "shut the hell up dont talk so much crap think about it dont tell me!!" or something, if it annoys you that much end it.

Remember, I love this guy to pieces. I'd do anything for him and I want to marry him one day. This is exactly what I feel like saying to him sometimes, but I know it would hurt him so much and he'd never ever forget it.

If my boyfriend says certain things I get really wound up and worried a few key phrases which do this are "I don't care" "whatever" and "meh".

WOW, I have the same thing and so does my boyfriend (same exact phrases plus "hmmm") but while I get over it quite quickly (or get pissed), he gets HURT, which is much worse because when he's hurt it hurts me too.

bf overanalyzes arguments

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