My mum just said to me..

mangomaz

That if she ever finds out I drink or if I marry a non-muslim man, she'd never be able to forgive me.

I've been drinking for the past... 4 years of my life (not heavy or frequent binging dont worry!), and really dont ever see myself marrying a muslim man.

What beautiful things the future holds.

Just thought I'd share this with everyone! And see if they've ever had similar experiences and how they delt with them if they have?

are you ok? is there anyone you could phone and talk to? maybe a friend who's willing to chat? i know lots of ppl in your position hun. it's so hard to balance out what you want with what would make your parents proud of you.

Reply 3

hapa_girl

7

mangomaz

That if she ever finds out I drink or if I marry a non-muslim man, she'd never be able to forgive me.

I've been drinking for the past... 4 years of my life (not heavy or frequent binging dont worry!), and really dont ever see myself marrying a muslim man.

What beautiful things the future holds.

Just thought I'd share this with everyone! And see if they've ever had similar experiences and how they delt with them if they have?

classical case of being caught between two cultures. its up to you and your mum to compromise.

Reply 4

Zerforax

21

Generally you'll just get outcast from the family and become the black sheep... *shrugs*
did anyone see that case in the news where a girls family stabbed her to death? :eek:

Reply 5

mangomaz

OP

14

Yeah I'd like to think my mum would never go to such drastic lengths...!

I told her as soon as she said the marriage comment that I cant control what happens in my life (even though, well I can but obviously I'm trying to make a point! :p:

) and will have to wait and see what happens.

I'll just wait and see where life takes me I guess.

Reply 6

Marie05

sarforaz

did anyone see that case in the news where a girls family stabbed her to death? :eek:

i did! OMG how can family members just watch it as well?! :confused:

just awful

Reply 7

Bluelight

13

sarforaz

Generally you'll just get outcast from the family and become the black sheep... *shrugs*
did anyone see that case in the news where a girls family stabbed her to death? :eek:

i don't think you could have been more unhelpful and discouraging if you tried.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

mangomaz

That if she ever finds out I drink or if I marry a non-muslim man, she'd never be able to forgive me.

I've been drinking for the past... 4 years of my life (not heavy or frequent binging dont worry!), and really dont ever see myself marrying a muslim man.

What beautiful things the future holds.

Just thought I'd share this with everyone! And see if they've ever had similar experiences and how they delt with them if they have?

does your mum still live in pakistan or something? tell her to get with the times... :biggrin:

Reply 9

Geerththanan

17

Bit of a tight situation...but I am sure your mum will "eventually" learn about the modern times and how things don't work the same as what it did in their times...

:hugs:

Reply 10

What's wrong with your parent's not wanting you to drink or marry someone they dont approve of?

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

does your mum still live in pakistan or something? tell her to get with the times... :biggrin:

That excuse can be used for everything.

For example, if murder rates went up by 600% then would it be ok to murder another person because we ought to "get with the times" :biggrin:

Reply 12

Anonymous

That excuse can be used for everything.

For example, if murder rates went up by 600% then would it be ok to murder another person because we ought to "get with the times" :biggrin:

Naw. You'd have to raise your murder rate by 600%.

Reply 13

Chris.

Muffin Man

What's wrong with your parent's not wanting you to drink or marry someone they dont approve of?

Big difference between "not wanting to" and "would never forgive"

@ the person who posted anonymous, are you just assuming she's of Pakistani descent?

Reply 14

Chris.

Big difference between "not wanting to" and "would never forgive"

If she would never forgive, I think we can assume that she does not want the OP to do said things.

Care to expound?

Muffin Man

Naw. You'd have to raise your murder rate by 600%.

Don't make sense...

As for the whole sitatuation... things are different in each cultures and different things are deemed as more acceptable. Like smoking crack is seemed bad for some cultures and drinking booze is seemed bad in others. I don't know what culture the OP is in but maybe the parents should of made it clear about all this earlier in your child hood as if they didn't i can see how hard it is for you. For me... i know what my culture would let me do or not let me do to the extent of not upsetting people who are close to me, but i knew this from an early age and so i accepted it.

Reply 17

iceman_jondoe

18

cheer up mehreen. my bros drink ! my rents just dont know....

Reply 18

Chris.

Muffin Man

If she would never forgive, I think we can assume that she does not want the OP to do said things.

Are you stupid?

You implied that her mother simply didn't want her to do said things, without showing an awareness that it was more than just not wanting to.

Let me show the difference:

I "wouldn't want" a girl to be an hour late if we were supposed to go somewhere, but I would "forgive" her.

I also wouldn't want a girl to cheat on me, however in this case I would "not forgive" her

Comprende?

Reply 19