Feeling Lonely

I'm sure people will be/are interested. You just need to find the right person. Are you or have you been in Uni? 21 is still bloody young you know! I'm starting to get depressed that I've never had a serious relationship at 18 reading all these threads that go on about being too old in their early twenties even etc.

Dont feel like that, to be honest with you i have a girlfriend but im lonely myself. You dont need to rush into things, take it slow. Your only 21, thats young you have all your life. The right person will come along. There is someone out there for everyone, and yourself. Ya will find this person, and as for being a virgin thats nuttin, loads of people are at your age. Dont worry about it. U have your friends thats the main thing.!

I always felt like that when I was single- grass is always greener and all that. I was envious of people in realtionships and felt a bit unwanted/crap/lonely at times. However much of a cliche this is, it's very true I find - you'll meet someone when you least expect it. I think just enjoy things as they are for now and you'll be pleasantly suprised. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who like you, maybe their just too shy too say anything?

Yeah, many of my friends have said that to me 'you'll meet someone when you least expect it', so I wait, wait patiently like a hermit. Going around my day to day life at uni. Absolutely nothing has happened.

Yeah maybe they are too shy approach me, but it is just so hard for me to approach them, because every time I have approached a girl it ends disastrously! Either a) they already seem to have a bf, or b) They are not interested. So I am just disheartened now to approach anymore girls in case I get rejected

Yeah, many of my friends have said that to me 'you'll meet someone when you least expect it', so I wait, wait patiently like a hermit. Going around my day to day life at uni. Absolutely nothing has happened.

Yeah maybe they are too shy approach me, but it is just so hard for me to approach them, because every time I have approached a girl it ends disastrously! Either a) they already seem to have a bf, or b) They are not interested. So I am just disheartened now to approach anymore girls in case I get rejected

I have friends, many friends, yet at 21 yrs of age I feel quite lonely. Why? I am still a virgin and never had a gf. :

It saddens me that over the years all my mates have been loved, yet I haven't had the chance to experience such a wonderful thing. I envy them because it looks so beautiful from a third persons prespective, too see how the companionship, friendship is oozed out when two people are attached. I would like to experience it at this age, but so far I have not found anyone! And as time goes on, I feel as though the future gets bleaker and bleaker on that front. Seems as though no one is interested :

Without wanting to sound nasty, for fear of being neg-repped into oblivion by one of the OP's new-found friends ( omg!!1 how can yoo say that u meenie! ), I've gotta say to the original OP - something's gotta be at fault here if you haven't had some form of relationship with a girl at your age. Seriously.

The way I see it, The phrases 'You'll find the right person eventually' and, to an extent, 'Just be yourself', are perhaps the two worst things to say to someone - because it reinforces to the person being given the advice that they're just fine and dandy, a diamond in the rough, an absolutely great person that the opposite sex are completely missing out on.

End result? The person being given the advice is made to feel just a touch better about their wretched social status and carries on doing exactly what they've been doing, with no effort made to change themselves. Why should they? After all, someone told them that they'd eventually find someone, somewhere who'd be totally right for them, didn't they? The person continues to be alone, all the while wondering why they're so lonely in the first place. Which sooner or later leads to yet another emotional outburst on a message board/in public about how they're lonely/unloved/a wretched social outcast/etc...

Nine times out of ten, some bright spark will then pipe up:

"Oh don't worry - you'll find someone soon."

And then guess what? The cycle continues. All over again.

Without wanting to sound nasty, for fear of being neg-repped into oblivion by one of the OP's new-found friends ( omg!!1 how can yoo say that u meenie! ), I've gotta say to the original OP - something's gotta be at fault here if you haven't had some form of relationship with a girl at your age. Seriously.

It's time for you to get your arse in gear. Time to stop being the way that you are now. Time to change yourself for the better.

Do you dress well? Nice trendy clothes? Nice trendy haircut? If not, get started on those sharpish. Not only will you look more attractive, you'll also feel a whole lot better about yourself inside and out. Go to Topman/Urban Outfitters/Selfridges. Go to Toni and Guy. Ask them what's in style. Go with what they say. If there's skin problems, get yourself down to a beauty salon. You won't regret it. Trust me on this.

Next, and as someone posted earlier, start getting yourself into regular social situations. Get out more. Get talking to girls. Know what they're like.

The key thing here, and I'm gonna sound controversial here - you've gotta start being a bit of an arse around girls. You've stated earlier that most of the girls you know have gotten you down as a nice guy and as just friend material. Kiss of death, mate. Girls are never going to be interested in you in a sexual way if you keep on going on like that. Yes, girls may state all the time that all they're looking for is a nice guy, but do they ever really go for that kind of ideal? Never. Why? Because the nice guys are so predictable and boring. The bad boys are always the ones who hold the most interest and excitement with the opposite sex. Forget the girls that you know, they're probably never gonna come round to seeing you as a potential boyfriend now. First impressions do count for a lot and all that.

Check out your friends that are in relationships and see how they act around their girls. Check out sosuave.com - everything that you need for dating is in there. It's your new damn bible.

As I've said, I'm only trying to give some honest advice here. Don't throw any heat my way, I only mean well!

thanks for your advice , some of my mates are cocks, some are nice. The nice ones at parties, they just talk to the girl, and then things happens from there, cos the girls is obv interested in them to begin with.

The key thing here, and I'm gonna sound controversial here - you've gotta start being a bit of an arse around girls. You've stated earlier that most of the girls you know have gotten you down as a nice guy and as just friend material. Kiss of death, mate. Girls are never going to be interested in you in a sexual way if you keep on going on like that. Yes, girls may state all the time that all they're looking for is a nice guy, but do they ever really go for that kind of ideal? Never. Why? Because the nice guys are so predictable and boring. The bad boys are always the ones who hold the most interest and excitement with the opposite sex. Forget the girls that you know, they're probably never gonna come round to seeing you as a potential boyfriend now. First impressions do count for a lot and all that.

If something happens, then it does. If not, well, the awful truth is you just have to deal with it- accept it. That's how life is. Enjoy the few graces that you have, because actually, there are quite a few positive things you must have that a lot of people don't.

Imho, telling the OP to change his whole personality will be detrimental; he'll seem fake and not himself, and fake-seeming guys are never attractive. And then what happens when he gets a really serious girlfriend, serious enough to actually think about spending the rest of his life with her? Can he turn round and say to her, "Well, actually, I'm not such a bad boy after all, I'm more of a nice guy."? Or must he put on this act in front of her for the rest of his relationship with her?