Anyone know someone who was forced to have an abortion? :|

I found out my mum had an abortion, she had it in 1999, when I was 11. I had no idea about this, my bestfriend told me, as my mum told her mum as they are good friends too.
I can't believe my mum never told me, and I don't understand why she did, I could have had a little brother or sister, and now I never will, just to think that I could have makes me so upset. What also makes me even more upset is, my mum wanted to have the child, my dad and his sister made her do it!!
My mum is so sensitive and I can't imagine what the hell she was going through at the time and she's quite submissive, so whatever my dad says she is most likely to give in even if she doesn't want to. But that was before, she has become stronger since then.
But she still doesn't know I know she's had an abortion it kills me, because my mum loves children! My uncle (mum's brother) used to tell me all the time, how she used to love playing with children when she was little and used to go on about how she wants some of her own) so I know she wouldn't have an abortion out of her own choice.
I don't really know what I want people to say, but I had to express my feelings to someone else other than my bestfriend. :frown:

Reply 1

Apricot Fairy

16

I can't believe your best friend's mum would break your mum's trust like that! This sounds ever so painful...

Do you want to talk to your mum about it, or would you rather she never finds out you know?

Reply 2

fairycakes

12

she mite of had an abortion for medical reasons?

maybe the baby might have been severely disabled, or is there possibly a reason your mum might have been in trouble medically if she had the baby?

i'm just trying to say maybe it might have been better to have the abortion...

xxxxxx

Reply 3

Random-Anime-Girlie<3

awwwww!
i have never personally been in that position, but i feel for u 100%. And your mum! How traumatic an ordeal to have to go through. All things considered, if you were 11 and your mum sayed "i was going to have a baby but your dad and his sister made me not have one", obviously that would be wrong. Perhaps she is scared of your reaction to not being told right away despite this? I really hope one day you and your mum can discuss these things, and support her in a whole new light, considering what she has gone through.
Don't worry about not knowing what response you are after. soemtimes you just need people to listen =]

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Apricot Fairy

I can't believe your best friend's mum would break your mum's trust like that! This sounds ever so painful...

Do you want to talk to your mum about it, or would you rather she never finds out you know?

My friend over heard them talking as they were in the living room!
umm I'm not sure, it was so long ago, I don't know how I would approach my mum, I can't just drop it in a conversation. I think I would prefer not talking about it, as it might be uncomfortable for both me and my mum. I would still like to know what she went through it might make her upset though. It makes me so angry though!!!! :mad:

I can't even express it.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

fairycakes

she mite of had an abortion for medical reasons?

maybe the baby might have been severely disabled, or is there possibly a reason your mum might have been in trouble medically if she had the baby?

i'm just trying to say maybe it might have been better to have the abortion...

xxxxxx

If this was the case, she would have told my bestfriend's mum, but she told her that she was forced into it, with no mention of these posibilities! :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Two years before I was born my mum had an abortion. At first she told me it was because she had the measles at the time and if the baby was born it would be blind or disabled, but later she told me it was because my dad told her that they 'didn't love eachother'.
That makes me slightly angry because I've been brought up to believe (or I guess I've formed the opinion) that you shouldn't really sleep with someone until you love them, and my parents go on about how I should always use contraception, yet they are such hypocrites themselves. And I hated the way my mum made it seem ok by the fact that my dad paid for it, as if that's going to help everything. It was wrong. And I know when she talked about it she was so upset, even nearly 20 years later I guess.
I lost alot of respect for my dad then. I don't look at him the same way now.

Reply 7

Sianey

So did they decide they did love each other in the two years between her having the abortion and having you? That must be a really hard situation to come to terms with.

Reply 8

Cirsium

19

Well why does it make them such hypocrites? How do you know they didn't form that opinion from making their mistakes. I'm not saying everyone should wait until they're married or anything but having an abortion can severely reduce your chances of having kids later in life, so it's kind of a last resort and maybe if you really CAN'T have a baby with somebody then that's a good reason to wait or at least make sure you're properly protected!

Anyone know someone who was forced to have an abortion? :|

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