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Do you wish your parents had pushed you more watch

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    In school I wasn't very confident and never really thought about my future career in a realistic way. I did kind of average in school, attaining mostly b's in gcses and alevels. I did a degree with which I don't have that much interest in, I am interested in some areas but not a potential career. I also went to a crap uni and got a 2.2. The thing is, I am only starting to believe that anything is possible , I no longer see specialist people as incredibly intelligent people who I could never achieve. I just see them as people who did a masters or PhDs, I feel capable. I also feel a lot of people are capable of being in good jobs with high pay. Yet younger,when it was important, I did not feel like I could be anything. Now, it feels kind of too late....

    when I have children, I want them to gain an interest in something. I don't think they have to be academic , at all, but I want them to believe they can do any job they can. I wish I was pushed more , because I have ever believed I could be anything. So,is anyone in same situation, do you think you wished you could go back to when your 16
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    Wow. I feel exactly the same way and am in exactly the same position. To be honest, yes I sometimes think I should have been pushed more and I think will be more strict with my children than my parents were with me but at the same time my parents really did give me a lot of encouragement and guidance but I was just not receptive. But I guess that isn't the same as being 'pushed'. But at the same time I think my parents always believed that I would someday achieve everything I said I would. They really took my idealistic words seriously even though I myself never did. So I can't really blame them. But yeah I think my answer to this question is yes. But now that we are older our life is in our own hands and we just can't be thinking about upbringing and stuff right now and juts need to push ourselves

    PM me if you want to talk more as I think we are in very similar places right now lol
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    As cliches as it sounds, it's never too late to achieve what you feel is your true potential
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    No point blaming your parents now. It won't change anything useful and there isn't much value in just saying you'll have to wait until you have parents so you can push them a bit harder.

    What's your position now and why are you feeling like this?
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    (Original post by IndianDancer)
    Wow. I feel exactly the same way and am in exactly the same position. To be honest, yes I sometimes think I should have been pushed more and I think will be more strict with my children than my parents were with me but at the same time my parents really did give me a lot of encouragement and guidance but I was just not receptive. But I guess that isn't the same as being 'pushed'. But at the same time I think my parents always believed that I would someday achieve everything I said I would. They really took my idealistic words seriously even though I myself never did. So I can't really blame them. But yeah I think my answer to this question is yes. But now that we are older our life is in our own hands and we just can't be thinking about upbringing and stuff right now and juts need to push ourselves

    PM me if you want to talk more as I think we are in very similar places right now lol
    thanks is for the reply.yes I said idealistic things when I was like under the age of ten, although I wasn't really taken seriously. I'm my teens, I was just caught up in anxiety and stuff I could not imagine having a career. But even so, I still felt good careers were out of grasp, now I see people from school with god jobs who were not as clever as me.
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    I was born in Zimbabwe and stayed there until I was 3 years old. Coming into the UK was fine, however between 5-12 my parents always pushed me into things. This included football, athletics and education. After this, they didn't make me do my work in front of them, or make me read various novels to ensure I was creative and had a decent level of reading and writing, since I had to either write an essay on the book or tell them what I learnt etc. Now I get the odd motivational speech and I'm facing a pretty ****ty Parent's Evening on the 27th.

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    Yeah my parents were amazingly passive which was good in some ways but I wished they'd have pushed me into doing better when I was younger. But it's hard to push someone unless you've done it for yourself I guess.
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    (Original post by Pip123321)
    In school I wasn't very confident and never really thought about my future career in a realistic way. I did kind of average in school, attaining mostly b's in gcses and alevels. I did a degree with which I don't have that much interest in, I am interested in some areas but not a potential career. I also went to a crap uni and got a 2.2. The thing is, I am only starting to believe that anything is possible , I no longer see specialist people as incredibly intelligent people who I could never achieve. I just see them as people who did a masters or PhDs, I feel capable. I also feel a lot of people are capable of being in good jobs with high pay. Yet younger,when it was important, I did not feel like I could be anything. Now, it feels kind of too late....

    when I have children, I want them to gain an interest in something. I don't think they have to be academic , at all, but I want them to believe they can do any job they can. I wish I was pushed more , because I have ever believed I could be anything. So,is anyone in same situation, do you think you wished you could go back to when your 16
    Yes I wish they had and would push me more, as a whole and on a daily basis. My mum has never taken any great interest in my education, and never told/asked me about homework/revision, which I wish she would do to push me on a daily basis. She always puts me down too. When I got the highest GCSEs in the whole school, it was just a grunt from her, when I talk about future study/jobs, I'm mocked and told I'm worthless. I used to try and impress her saying I'd got this grade or read that book, but she would just criticise and laugh at me. I wish she would believe in me and push me, and over the years her negative attitude to everything has really angered me. Through this though I have realised that you have to believe in and push yourself, and at the end of the day no one will do it for you. I am very glad that I have realised this at 17. I believe in and push myself and know it's up to me, not my mum nor anyone else, but it can still be a struggle to stay motivated, when it's all up to you. And it's never too late- just look how far you've already come, this is just the beginning.
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    (Original post by Pip123321)
    thanks is for the reply.yes I said idealistic things when I was like under the age of ten, although I wasn't really taken seriously. I'm my teens, I was just caught up in anxiety and stuff I could not imagine having a career. But even so, I still felt good careers were out of grasp, now I see people from school with god jobs who were not as clever as me.
    Try and use those people as motivation. I'm feeling so much better about myself these days and with my parents' encouragement and support I know I'm going to achieve something. I think what you really need now is not your parents to 'push' you but for you to sort out what is making you feel less confident about yourself. After you do that, the motivation and drive automatically comes to you. Because without confidence, no matter how much people push you, you're just not going to do anything. The problem right now lies with your confidence and not your parents. I know its easy to pin point to their mistakes but once you gain that confidence you'll probably realise that no matter what you parents had told you then, no matter how much they pushed you, you probably wouldn't have done anything significantly different than what you did. Not happily, and not for yourself anyway. This is just my view and its late so take whatever I'm saying with a pinch of salt. haha
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    lol

    I pushed myself because I know what I want. The best.
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    I think that they have to be the ones to embed a work ethic in you. Mine helped me at first but then they just left it up to me, and I didn't understand the importance of doing well back then, I just wanted to play on the PlayStation.
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    Sometimes I wish my parents would stop pushing me sometimes but what I had to understand is that they are doing it for my best...
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    No. I'm glad I did things myself when I was ready to do it. I expect if my parents had pushed me more, they'd have done the standard pushy parent thing of railroading me into a career I hated but was 'respectable' and 'well paid'. Ironically I ended up doing that to myself anyway but I've changed that now.

    Out of interest, how old are you OP? Bearing in mind you'll be working until you're almost 70, barring early retirement, I think some people say it's 'too late' long before it actually is. You don't have to be settled and accept whatever you have by the time you hit your early 20s.
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    (Original post by Pip123321)
    In school I wasn't very confident and never really thought about my future career in a realistic way. I did kind of average in school, attaining mostly b's in gcses and alevels. I did a degree with which I don't have that much interest in, I am interested in some areas but not a potential career. I also went to a crap uni and got a 2.2. The thing is, I am only starting to believe that anything is possible , I no longer see specialist people as incredibly intelligent people who I could never achieve. I just see them as people who did a masters or PhDs, I feel capable. I also feel a lot of people are capable of being in good jobs with high pay. Yet younger,when it was important, I did not feel like I could be anything. Now, it feels kind of too late....

    when I have children, I want them to gain an interest in something. I don't think they have to be academic , at all, but I want them to believe they can do any job they can. I wish I was pushed more , because I have ever believed I could be anything. So,is anyone in same situation, do you think you wished you could go back to when your 16
    I totally get what your saying I got the same for GCSE's didn't pick the best Alevels, resitting the year now and got offers from uni. What uni did u go and what did u do?
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    hmmm, my parents always encouraged me to push myself and motivate myself to what I personally was capable of. They always wanted me to make my own decisions and do the best I could.

    For instance, they did not push for me to get straight A*'s at gsce but wanted me to do the best I could for my future. consequently, I achieved a lot of A*'s from just having that support and pushing myself because I knew what I wanted.

    I do not think its healthy to have a parent which is too 'pushy' such as you have to get straight A*'s, do ballet on a wednesday, piano on a monday, swimming everyday etcc

    i think what children need is support and encouragement however I do not feel you can blame parents for not encouraging you enough solely for poor grades or whatever as afterall it is your education and lies in no one elses hands but your own.
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    My case is quite similar - I wasn't pushed pushed but my parents were very supportive and always got me what I needed to do well in school. Due to not being pushed and not pushing myself I got mostly B's at GCSE - that was without revising so I can only imagine what I could have achieved had I actually tried :/ I didn't have much guidance either as it is only my current generation (Cousins) that are starting to go to University and thus I chose I rubbish combination of subjects at Sixth form too.

    Now that I know all of this I am pushing myself by attempting to self-teaching A-Level Maths, Further Maths and Economics in 2 years. I have also become a lot more active the lives of my nieces/ nephews and siblings academically by always giving them guidance and stuff. I feel proud because now my 11 year old sister is set to sit her GCSE in Maths in Year 8!
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    If you blame your parents for your failures within life you need to take a long hard look at yourself. You're the one to blame.
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    My parents seem to think average is fine. I was never academically pushed, it was only until my sister started sixthform and starting acting up in school that my Mum realised the importance of trying to keep your kids motivated is.

    I'm not saying that you should force your kids to be academic but emphasising how important is it from an early age should be something that parents do, in my opinion. Unless the child is more practical and would rather go down a different route, then I think parents should keep them motivated in doing that.

    Oh I hope I make sense lol.
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    (Original post by chickenonsteroids)
    No point blaming your parents now. It won't change anything useful and there isn't much value in just saying you'll have to wait until you have parents so you can push them a bit harder.

    What's your position now and why are you feeling like this?
    'Until you have parents'

    Much pain, so hurt. Ow
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    I actually don't I wish I wasn't pushed as much, lead me to making bad choices cos I felt pressurised, might have ended up in somthing I enjoy otherwise!

    I think alowing your kids to take an interest is good but pushing them too hard can have a worse effect than not at all, think theres alot of good can come from allowing them to find their own way also (depending on the individual)
 
 
 
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